I believed I was part of a group of people who had each other’s best interests as a core of operation. This group could best be classified as a Self-Managed Team where there was no distinct team leader, for example a string quartet. The group generally worked well together over a period of time, but there were a number of occasions over the years when I was, actively or accidentally, left on the sidelines when all others in the group were made part of the project at the time. In these instances I took the initiative and asserted myself. At the conclusion of the projects, matters were discussed by all of us and resolved. I always thought the group would perform better as a result.
Until recently, when the same group planned and executed a complete project without my input at all. They were inconsiderate and exclusive, in my opinion. Maybe the problem was me. I thought I was performing well and on further analysis I was. The issue was the group not seeing value in every member. I had made myself a part of the wrong group. I persevered though, and gave chance after chance, adjusted my values and made rationalisations. I reflected on the circumstances for a whole week and concluded that compromising myself like that was unacceptable and led to unhappiness and stress.
The situation is still difficult to talk about and I cannot provide further detail here. Removing the emotion is hard too, but it needs to be done to write about this experience objectively. With respect to teamwork and group dynamics, sometimes you just have to cut a group loose and find your own way!
Within any effectively performing group, members are given the opportunity to raise issues and concerns, contribute knowledge and opinions, and assist in operational decision-making and planning activities. Forums such as team meetings, one-on-one meetings, planning days, performance appraisals, conferences, etc all help people to develop relationships, share information, understand each other’s work and discuss issues related to the achievement of team goals. But when (not if) the group dynamics break down, what then can be done?
Being comfortable and confident in your own abilities provides a solid psychological basis for dealing with a breakdown in positive group dynamics. Knowing where your strengths lie can allow you to explore your own shortcomings more effectively. Learn from your experiences and analyse and reflect upon the feedback you have received in the past. Ensuring you are completely comfortable with your own strengths and limitations reduces the need to completely rely on others within the group for affirmation.
Next, recognise the situations in which you cannot please everybody and simply act with your best judgment – especially if you are leading the group. Any golfer or tennis player will tell you that you have to be able to trust your shot. So, too, a group member or leader has to be able to trust in their own well-informed decisions to be able to move forward. If there are issues affecting group performance, they need to be addressed promptly and directly. Offer or seek out opportunities to improve performance. This indicates to the rest of the group a willingness to work with them to explore solutions.
Despite all of these strategies there will be occasions where a group member simply makes the choice to NOT work with you in the team or with the team as a whole. Recognise this and discuss the choice with them, exploring feelings, reasons and specific examples. This can be quite a confronting exercise but it is worthwhile for peace of mind. If it comes down to it, be prepared to walk away yourself or to let them leave the group, depending on the situation. Sometimes, it’s simply just the best option for you/the group. In my situation from earlier, it was the best option for me.
The final piece of advice is to accept the consequences of your chosen action. Acceptance will eventuate after an initial period of anger or disappointment and then a period of reflection. It is important to work through these thought processes so you can then mentally equip yourself to move on to new opportunities with a renewed sense of determination.
I shall end this article with two quotes:
1. “The well-run group is not a battlefield of egos.” – Lao Tzu, Chinese Taoist philosopher
2. “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” – Winston Churchill, British WWII Prime Minister
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For more resources, see our Library topic Team Building.
Few would deny that one of the greatest spiritual leaders of our time is the beloved late Mother Teresa. She is a soul who wholly dedicated to live a life of service through expressing her heart of love. She is known to the world for her selfless work with the “poorest of the poor” in Calcutta, India. Her order, the Missionaries of Charity, have opened more than 500 centers around the world to help the dying and destitute. She is the recipient of many of the world’s most prestigious humanitarian awards like the Nobel Peace Prize.
I’ve always been inspired by her profound words of wisdom. I’ll include three of my favorites for your reflection and how they impact your spiritual growth as they have mine.
For in the silence of the heart, God speaks.
We need to open the eyes of our hearts so we can see, hear and feel God’s love and guidance for our lives. Yet when our minds are troubled and our hearts are broken we have a difficult time finding the adored silence we all crave deep within us. Mother Teresa did her work silently throughout the world. She led with her heart and let her love of God speak for what she stood for. It is in her silent heart blessings that the world showered her with accolades of praise.
I am God’s pencil.
She shared this thought as a way to look at her life was all about serving God and Jesus. I too have asked God to use me as his pencil. So when I’ve written something that sounds like it was written exactly for you to read, know that it was!! God intended for me to write this so you could read it when you were ready and when your heart was open. This is the same for me. I’m a writer and I’ve written many things in my life. Some have been good and some have been God. I can always tell the difference in how it flows and how easily it goes. It’s amazing how this can happen. When I’ve asked to be God’s pencil and to guide my words, the words are more profound and meaningful. When I try to write things on my own is when the words don’t always sound impactful or come to me as naturally. However, when God uses me to write the message he wants to get across I just go with it. I often realize the difference is when my keys are just flying off the keyboard or when my hand just writes automatically nonstop. It’s like I’m letting the flow of the Holy Spirit comes to me and then out through me.
May God give back to you in love all the love you have given and all the joy and peace you have sown around you, all over the world.
We all know that we reap what we sow in our lives. When Mother Teresa put it in terms of love and joy, it sure makes me want to spread as much as possible. How about you?
Janae Bower is an inspirational speaker, award-winning author and training consultant. She founded Finding IT, a company that specializes in personal and professional development getting to the heart of what matters most. She started Project GratOtude, a movement to increase gratitude in people’s lives.
A Technical Writer creates and compiles a range of documents. This is especially true when the product involves multiple divisions, departments, or projects. By working across these multiple channels all knowledge gained will be incorporated within several documents. Product specifications, deployment manuals, instructional material, operational manuals, forms manuals, brochures, etc., may need to be written. Within each document, the Technical Writer will communicate what is relevant and be able to present it in a creative manner. Creativity is important when constructing tables, charts, graphics, or diagrams to simplify and enhance details of procedures, processes, business reports, etc. Besides relevancy and creativity, there are other core requirements for specific types of documents. Below are some standard forms of documentation frequently generated during a product’s life cycle. Under each type of document are some fundamental elements.
Requirement Documents(created at the initiation of a project) contain:
Date and authorization,
Project scope/overview,
Task proposal,
Proposal validation,
Business goals,
Specifications,
Time and expenses,
Resources and support.
Software and Functional Specification Documents (created for Developers and Analysts) contain:
Technical details of the product,
Detailed tasks,
Database design and schema location,
Client needs,
Program functionality,
System platforms ,
User Interface,
Security,
Error messages.
User /Operations /Training Documents (created for guidance and instruction) contain:
Guide description,
Product description,
Installation and/or log-on procedures,
Program functionality,
Required information,
Prompts and error messages,
Trouble-shooting section,
Glossary,
Reference sheet.
Reference/Cheat Sheets (created as a quick look-up) contain:
Brief program overview,
Brief explanation of each functionality,
Quick ways to accomplish a task,
Brief trouble-shooting section,
Index and cross reference sheets.
Quality Assurance/ Test Plan Documents (created for testing) contain:
Program description and client needs,
System requirements,
Program accessibility,
Functionality,
Tasks and scenarios,
Expectations,
Regression testing,
Problems and resolution.
SOP (Standard Operating Procedures) Documents (created for routine tasks) contain:
Purpose,
People involved/affected,
Guidelines,
Revision instructions.
Procedures,
Appendix,
Glossary.
Each of the above documents will be elaborated on in future posts. There are many other types of documents that a Technical Writer produces. The above were selected because they are generally the most common. If there are others that you wish more information on, please leave a comment.
In the world of training, there comes a time when the trainer feels he or she is not “on.” Is it that important? It can make the difference between a successful and unsuccessful training session.
Do we fake it? Now, I’m not talking about subject matter here–not knowing what we are talking about–but faking the passion and enthusiasm to motivate your trainees to learn from the training session. Some would say the solution is acting (pretending is what they really mean). Under my definition of acting, I would not agree. We all have off days. Ever fake being glad to be at work? Same thing.
However, I think trainers (and public speakers) feel the “off day” more because the very essence of what they do is tied to a genuine connection they make with the audience, whether it is to convey information in a training setting or motivate or persuade in a speaker’s setting. If we can’t maintain that connection, everyone loses.
While it’s not acting the classic method, it’s still using the basics of acting to include stage presence–if only to achieve a greater interaction with the audience.
In keeping with the purpose of the training and development blog, I’ll try to concentrate on the trainer rather than the speaker, but the answers are pretty much the same, and trainers are speakers, too. In fact, the original question was asked of speakers. For trainers, the real question remains: if you are faking it, do your trainees know and what can you do about it?
The idea from this post came from a related question posed in a LinkedIn forum. That question actually being addressed to professional public speakers: How many feel that “acting” in a speech is faking it? The question was posed by a theatrical and speech coach, Barbara Kite, who uses acting techniques to work with executive and professional speakers. I do the same–with a bit of a difference. The question itself is a bit ambiguous, basically delving into the notion of being someone else when you are training or speaking, and not yourself; therefore, you are acting. Are you being perceived as genuine by your audience? That may depend on how good an actor you are, but I would maintain”faking” it is never a good idea–especially in the training environment. One blotched speaking engagement isn’t going to kill a professional speaker; he or she may not get an endorsement, but I’m sure there are plenty more of those for the good days.
I would say most speakers (as I’m sure many trainers and coaches have) in this LinkedIn forum have “acted” in various community plays and some in more professional outings depending on experience and opportunity, but I would suggest that some might not be able to pull it off acting that calls on the “actor” to come up with really deep insights during the audition process. That is the real thing. And that is what we have to do as trainers: find those parts of us that are real and share them. Sharing who we are–even at that moment–is part of being genuine.
Everyone has a bad day… Apologize within the normal boundaries of politeness… It may even bond you to them more–like self-deprecating humor–and make you one of them: human.
Everyone has a bad day. Maybe it’s hot, or a sick child kept you up all, or your allergies are getting the best of you. Apologize within the normal boundaries of politeness, but mostly share with your group how you’re feeling and compare notes. It may even bond you to them more–like self-deprecating humor–and make you one of them: human.
Speakers who speak for a cause they strongly believe in are probably not acting. They have no reason to since their natural sincerity for their cause will come out. But any speaker who gets paid for his or her efforts has to get results? Great trainers and speakers are really good at making the audience believe they are not acting. I’m not saying they aren’t communicating “real feelings, real lessons, real meaning,” but there’s an effective process to do it that involves “acting” a certain way, being a certain way, and understanding your audience. While it’s not acting the classic method, it’s still using the basics of acting to include stage presence–if only to achieve a greater interaction with the audience.
My acting experience is not any more of an advantage to me as a speaker or trainer than anyone else who has learned the same things about reading an audience and expressing his or herself effectively from a different environment.
What I see happening here is what happens on LinkedIn occasionally because many use it as a forum to promote themselves and their work rather than network, but the questions are stimulating. Sometimes the forums are filled with blazing egos; sometimes a few show up and leave when the going gets too hot or irrelevant. It happens that there can be a lot of name dropping, numbers of speaking engagements mentioned, acting in significant plays, prestigious schools, as a way of establishing marketable credibility is not uncommon–as if it all has to do with the basic question: How many speakers believe acting is about faking it? I’d say quite a few. That’s it. The point. The common view of what an actor does is that he or she pretends. Right at the most basic level, I suppose. Quite wrong at a deeper, more important level.
How is an acting education that different from any other communication program except in the medium? And, there are cross-over commonalities. I’m sure we could fine point the differences to death, but the basics are the same: communicating with an audience.
Acting class is not a requirement for a trainer or a speaker (although it might be of a college speech program), but it’s good information for speaking or communication in general. How many haven’t had a traditional class in public speaking as opposed to oral communication? How many received their training via Toastmasters or from the pulpit? Not a problem either.
Acting in the deepest sense is really about not acting, but “being” to some people. Even for actors, like trainers and speakers, there has to be control on stage that comes from acting, not “being.”
The answer is that you should take an acting class if you think acting is faking it is hard to take. Why? Because the definition recited by so many individuals is that acting is faking it. I think Barbara may have been marketing her own program; however, I’d say, no, you don’t have to take an acting class to learn about acting, but maybe if speakers who don’t know the answer or like the response should look into learning more what acting is about beyond the Wikipedia answer.
By the way, I’m not all about “method” either, which does call on the actor to dig deep personally to find a similar emotion. Nor am I all about improvisation. I’m probably more psychological, but that works for me. Acting in the deepest sense is really about not acting, but “being” to some people. Even for actors, like training and speaking, there has to be control on stage that comes from acting, not “being.” That basic acting that comes with facial expressions, natural gesturing and stage movement. These are things we may not think about anymore, but they are a part of acting or whatever field you studied to learn what enhances communication.
As a speaker or trainer, I don’t act on stage or in the classroom unless I am doing it on purpose to prove a point and I want my audience or class to know I am acting–because sometimes that is the point. I’m as genuine a speaker as I can be because that’s who I am–not who I’m pretending to be. I don’t like pat speeches with the same jingoistic words and phrases used over and over again because we know they work. Isn’t that fake? Or, have you found the universal truth? I can’t think of anything less ingenuous and more fake. Talk about actors memorizing lines! Sometimes just using enough repetition to keep you audience on topic and less connected to your brand is more genuine and from the heart. Remember to share with your audience. You have empathy for your audience and it is reciprocal by default.
In ancient Latin, persona meant “mask.” Today it does not usually refer to a literal mask but to the “social masks” all humans supposedly wear.
Do actors keep their persona separate while trainers/speakers are their persona? I think there are speakers in that same category as the actors. Actors may adopt another persona but they shouldn’t do away with original; that makes for “crazy” results. You’ve heard of losing oneself in one’s part? If it goes too far…
Some trainers/speakers have separate persona in that speaking or training moment, although I agree they probably shouldn’t. A bad actor can be a good speaker in the same way a great speaker could be a bad actor. A good actor can be a good public speaker, but there are no guarantees either way. Don’t give me the Academy Awards as an example either. I’m sure if the actors/movie stars were getting paid for their acceptance speeches, we’d see different “performances.”
Any decent speaker will use the basics of acting in the course of doing a good job of communicating with an audience from the stage, but they don’t necessarily have to have the depth of “acting methods” to get there. As with anything, there’s a benefit to do what works for you as a speaker. Some speakers benefit greatly from Barbara’s techniques or mine as they do by working with other coaches who have found techniques that work for their students. Barbara and I may have some similarities in background and approach, but I think the common thread that goes through all of us is that we look to the whole person we are coaching, that we look for the ways to bring them out, to help them achieve the persona they seek.
I started to write this for my STAGE Magazine column because it dealt with acting, but it seemed it was more a topic to mull over for training since it sort of began in that arena with a LinkedIn question. Anyone can present information but it takes communication skills have the information listened to intently, understood and remembered. Check out Barbara’s page and mine for more information on the topic of using acting skills in training or public speaking. Know your audience. Know your subject. Know yourself. And, your training session, your speaking engagement, or even your one-on-one coaching session will all come together. For a look at the human side of training from my Cave Man perspective, please check out my book, The Cave Man Guide to Training and Development. Happy training.
Need more business? These tips are designed to help you get more.
The tips follow a logical sequence. However, life can have its own flow. So, you may find yourself going back and forth as you apply them – that’s normal. As always, best of luck!
1. Create a compelling message. Offer a product or service that is different than your competitors – where it counts to customers.
2. Check continuously that your advantages matter to customers. Use market research as well as customer and prospect visits. Be sure to ask good questions.
3. Motivate your staff to work together and to consistently deliver on the compelling promise.
4. Understand who your ideal customer is – that is, your target market. Know what they want, how they buy, and where they look for suppliers of your product or service.
5. Promote your service via your compelling message. Meet your prospects where they are.
6. Use social media as appropriate for your market, together with the free promotional tools on the web, including all the Google info.
7. Monitor the effectiveness of your promotion – whether the activities are generating leads and sales.
8. Ensure the necessary resources are dedicated to selling – and that they have excellent relationship-building, value selling, closing and customer care skills.
9. Build a sales pipeline, with leads in each of your four or five selling stages. Track where leads are lost or slow down. Use this information to improve the efficiency of your selling process.
10. Offer excellent customer service to maintain customers and generate word of mouth referrals – always the best!
It’s that time again! Perhaps the most dreaded management practice is the annual employee performance appraisal.
Whenever the subject comes up, out comes the groans from both managers and staff no matter what industry or type of company. Many say employee performance appraisals are like having a root canal — only more painful. It shouldn’t be.
If done correctly, the appraisal process can become the most valuable instrument in the manager’s toolbox. The few hours a manager invests can impact an employee’s performance for an entire year.
Here is a quick guide for managers or supervisor in preparing, conducting and following up on employee performance appraisals.
Preparing
Give employee advance notice so that he /she can prepare for the discussion.
Review the position’s responsibilities and standards.
Review the employee’s job performance for the past year.
Identify potential development areas that can be addresses though training and special projects.
Set aside adequate block of uninterrupted time to permit a full and complete discussion.
Conducting
Make sure your focus is on the person and not on distractions.
Ask employee to review his or her job performance for the past year.
Keep the focus on job performance and related factors, not personality.
Discuss job requirements, employee strengths, accomplishments, and improvement needs.
Be prepared to cite observations for each point discussed.
Reach agreement on appropriate goals, development plans and timetables.
Summarize what has been discussed and end on a positive note.
Following Up
Immediately after, record the plans made and points requiring follow-up.
Provide a copy for the employee.
Evaluate your own performance. What I did well? Could have done better? Learned about the employee? Learned about myself?
Management Success Tip:
Remember, the employee performance appraisal meeting is an opportunity to recognize achievements, identify and correct problems, and set specific objectives for the coming year. Make sure you get off on the right foot by following the above guidelines.
What’s been your experience with performance appraisals – either as an employee receiving feedback or as a supervisor giving feedback? I’m interested in hearing from you whether it was good or bad.
Leaders spend a significant amount of time on roles and responsibilities, goal-setting, and determining who is accountable for what. They spend much less time defining the outcomes they desire, negotiating the conditions of satisfaction that will achieve these outcomes, and coordinating the commitments of those who report to them. Yet, by focusing on these three activities of leading, they enable others to set their own priorities and independently figure out how to get things done. Empowerment realized!
But do you, as a leader, trust those who report to you enough to send them off unsupervised, with just a promise they will get something done? At a time when trust in organizations is at an all-time low, how can leaders get stuff done and generate trust? And if you check up on them are you leading or micromanaging? Enter Fernando Flores and his Commitment Management Protocol, a means of coordinating action through the intentional negotiation of conditions of satisfaction. Lest you think that this is a new management rage, Flores’ protocol has been used in business for at least the last 20 years.
Words Create Actions
Commitment Management begins with the leader actually knowing what outcome they seek rather than the means of achieving it. For example, if the desired outcome is the 2012 Brand Strategy, are you clear on what that entails? Often leaders “know it when they see it” or “know what it isn’t.” This produces needless re-working and countless iterations of a document or set of activities that could be clarified at the onset. Knowing what purpose the end product fulfills helps you define what it needs to contain and sets the scope of the work to be completed.
Once you know the outcome you desire you can request an individual or group to be accountable for the work. This step of the protocol helps leaders think about who to engage with rather than simply assigning it to the person or group normally “responsible” for the activity. Whoever is accountable becomes your thought partner in negotiating the conditions of satisfaction. Negotiation is critical to a successful outcome, so choose wisely and negotiate until you both feel comfortable with the terms.
The conditions of satisfaction are the key to creating trust and empowerment. When the conditions of satisfaction are clear and not ambiguous, those accountable can commit to performing the work. How the work gets done is now the responsibility of those doing it and not the leader who requested it. As they perform the tasks that they are accountable for, employees assess their progress against the conditions of satisfaction and are able to renegotiate them if need be. This means that leaders hear about new ideas and innovation or challenges and problems sooner rather than later.
These five steps – defining the outcome, requesting the work, accepting accountability, negotiating the conditions of satisfaction, and committing to deliver – encourage creativity, experimentation, and innovation, build trust, and place accountability where the work gets done.
How It Actually Happens
Jake (VP Marketing): Nancy, the shifts in the economy make me think our brand strategy for product X is out of date. Will you take a look at that and let me know what you think about it?
Nancy (Business Strategy Team Leader): Absolutely. What type of information do you want to see?
Jake: Probably the regular competitive analysis, market landscape…is there something else you had in mind?
Nancy: Well, if I knew how you intended to use the assessment I could better prepare it.
Jake: I can imagine a couple of things I would use it for: I have a new product manager for that brand who is coming from another part of the business and it would get him up to speed, plus that brand has some competition on the horizon three years out and I want some fresh thinking on how to maintain our market share, I also want some new data to take to the executive council meeting next month.
Nancy: Let me talk to my team and send you an outline of how we think these three outcomes can best be achieved. If I send it to you tomorrow do you have 15 minutes to chat about it on Thursday?
Jake: Yes, Jeannie can schedule something.
Notice the level of transparency that the conversation generates naturally. By not saying: “Sure” and heading off thinking she knows what Jake needs Nancy has begun the negotiation process and can talk with her team before actually committing to the conditions for satisfaction. Additionally, Jake has an informal thought partner who helped him clarify the purpose for his request.
Here’s what high performing professionals and managers have said during my seminars on The Career Edge.
Key #1: Life Comes at You Fast – Be Prepared, Plan and Anticipate
During change, don’t be an ostrich hiding your head in the sand. Be aware of what’s going on.
Be open to opportunities and even challenges. It can change your career trajectory.
At the same time, have focus – it provides clarity for what you want to accomplish.
Key #2: The Power of Attitude – We Can Change our Lives with Optimism
Be resilient. Challenges, disappointments, mistakes happen. The important things is to move on.
Stay away from negative people. If they’re not happy for themselves, they certainly can’t be happy for you.
Visualize success, talk success, believe in your success. Expect success to happen.
Thank the people who have made a difference in your life and career.
Key #3: NETWORK = Net WORTH
Increase your connections. Success is all about relationships – building,maintaining, leveraging.
By increasing your network, you build the number of people that can impact you and that you can help in return.
Make it easy for people to help you. Give them the tools they need to make connections and introductions for you.
Be happy for others, acknowledge their success, celebrate their achievements. They will remember.
Key #4: Feedback is a Gift – Information is Power
Be open and acceptable to both good feedback and constructive criticism.
Nobody takes the time to give feedback to someone they don’t like. They just walk away.
Then decide on how you are going to turn that feedback into positive behavior and skills.
Key #5: Politics is NOT a Dirty Word
It’s all about knowing your organization and how things get done.
Assess the situation and understand what’s important to decision makers.
Be realistic. There’ll be times when it’s better to compriomise and times when it’s important to take a stand.
Key #6: Do a Great Job Every Day
Know your strengths and use them in the most effective way you can.
Don’t stop learning – new ideas, new skills, new ways of doing things.
Make sure your work serves the larger goals of the organization.
Key #7: Remember, a Fulfilling Life Is a Journey Not Just a Destination
Take time to enjoy – stop and smell the roses!
Realize that you’re the only person who can lead your life – so don’t wait for others to take charge.
Know that people remember not what you say but how you made them feel. So make people feel good.
Career Success Tip:
Success is more than working hard, being busy and burning a lot of energy. It’s a laser focus on what matters. So examine all your “to-do”s and pick the ones that count the most – the ones that can make a big difference in your life and career.
I had a conversation recently with a friend who was deeply hurt by some things going on in a community organization where he was a leader. He shared what was happening and that he was really struggling to find compassion and understanding in the midst of the conflicts. I’ve been there. We all have. Periodically we find ourselves in the middle of an uncomfortable situation where people are calling names, spreading rumors, attacking others, and simply not being the best they can be.
Thank goodness I’ve studied and practiced Non-Violent Communication (NVC- developed by Marshall Rosenberg) and Loving What Is (known as The Work developed by Byron Katie). To learn more about NVC and Loving What Is, go to their websites, look at their videos, and find a study/practice group near you. Both of these approaches have helped me enormously to deal with pain and find compassion in the midst of turmoil. These approaches have helped me work with others dealing with pain, anger, or loss in organizations. They have helped me listen to someone else’s pain with an open heart and supported my work facilitating healing and reconciliation.
As I listened to what my friend was sharing I heard his sadness, anger and grief. I allowed him to share those feelings and asked him what he needed to address his feelings. I didn’t try to change how he felt, or offer solutions to the situation at his organization. I simply listened and allowed space for him to get in touch with his feelings. This allowed him to acknowledge what he was feeling and find clarity on what he needed to get through the next few days (before a critical board meeting that was scheduled to address the conflicts).
I want to share just a few thoughts here on how NVC and Loving What Is can support you, a co-worker, or work group who may be going through pain from a situation in an organization.
1. Own your own feelings in the midst of the crisis or pain. Acknowledge honestly how you are feeling and what is coming up for you. Don’t worry that what is coming up looks or feels ugly. What’s essential for healing is that you are honest with how you are feeling. If you are speaking with a co-worker who is in pain, have him/her draw their attention to themselves and how they are feeling. Only through honest reflection and acknowledgment of how you are feeling can you move towards healing and find reconciliation.
2. It is not your job is to try to change the behavior of others who are acting in ways that trigger your feelings. Your job is to address your own pain, sadness, loss, fear, anger in the most tender, gentle loving ways you can. Offer yourself compassion for the feelings you are having. In this way you can move through your pain to find your own peace. The more you do this, the more you can Be Peace in a turbulent situation.
3. How you respond to this situation shifts the energy for others in the situation. The more grounded, honest, respectful and open you are to dealing with your own and others’ pain, the smoother you and they will move through the conflicts or turmoil. Your energy affects those around you. How do you want to move through your pain to find comfort, peace, acceptance, and patience for yourself or others?
4. Other people are not the enemy. Hanging on to judgments or demonizing others only adds fuel to the fire. The ‘others’ are simply using strategies to meet their needs in the best way they know how. And so are you. We all have learned strategies to meet our needs. Some of these strategies are effective, some are destructive to relationships. Stop and examine how you are acting to meet your needs- are you lashing out and hurting others as revenge, are you pouting and sulking like a victim, are you running away to protect yourself? As you work on meeting your needs and addressing your feelings, you’ll see what strategies you are using. Your strategies may be helpful or harmful to the relationships in the situation at hand. Focus on what you are doing to move through your own pain. What can you do to bring peace, comfort, healing to yourself?
5. Become aware of your judgments and the stories you are telling yourself about the other people and their actions. Next, find one belief you have about them. Ask yourself- Is that True? What would be the 180 degree opposite belief you could have about them or what is happening? How might that opposite belief statement be true? How do you feel when you read/think of that opposite belief statement?
6. Emotionally charged situations are the trials that test your spiritual stamina. They are the moments and playground for you to practice your spiritual muscles of compassion, forgiveness, respect, understanding, awareness.
Whenever two or more are gathered there will be conflicts and disagreements. Organizations are no different. When conflicts reach a boiling point, then healing and reconciliation are needed. Your ability to work through your own pain to find greater healing and reconciliation helps you and your organization. As we learn these lessons and practice honoring our feelings without demonizing others as the enemy, not only will our organizations be healthier, but we also progress along our spiritual journey.
Bright Blessings as you move through your pain and find healing, wholeness, and compassion in the midst of your struggles. Here is a Buddhist prayer you can use to support your journey of healing and reconciliation.
Linda has done healing and reconciliation work with organizations to help them move from pain to compassion. If your organization- non-profit, house of worship, or business- has gone through a crisis or is in turmoil and seeks to move towards healing and reconciliation, contact Linda (ljfergusonphd@gmail.com) to find out how her work can support your organization’s healing. Using principles describe above, you’re organization can shift through pain to healing and reconciliation.
It’s Not About Me; It’s About You, Really !!
Relationships are at the heart of all fundraising activities, and grants are no exception. Just like dating, the nonprofit grantee needs to find a compatible match in a prospective grantor.
But, unlike a good date, the grantee/grantor relationship is very one-sided. It REALLY is all about the grantor.
Given the proliferation of U.S. public charities – just over one million in 2010, according to the National Center for Charitable Statistics – coupled with the current economic climate, foundations are the much-courted belle-of-the-ball. And, like public charities, foundations have also been pinched by the economic downturn.
As per IRS regulations, private foundations are required to distribute about 5% of their assets annually for charitable purposes. So, when the market is down, their assets generate less income, so they give less.
According to the Foundation Center, grantmaking by private, community, and operating foundations fell by almost 9% in 2009 – figures aren’t out yet for last year.
In addition to financial constraints, foundations are also limited to the charitable purpose(s) established by their donors and managed by their trustees. Unlike individual donors, foundations usually have a well-documented purpose that they are trying to fulfill by making grants.
They are looking for nonprofit organizations that can help them make the changes/improvements in the world that are their raison-d’etre, and deliver the services and outcomes that matter to them.
What should you look for when courting prospective foundations?
Most importantly, look for a foundation with a “purpose” that has significant overlap with your organization’s mission.
If, for example, your mission is to rehabilitate wildlife, then you should be looking at foundations that identify animal welfare as a priority. Conversely, if you are a charter elementary school, then a foundation that funds higher education is not a good fit.
So, when your intended foundation partner breaks-up with you after the first date (or rejects your first proposal), try not to feel hurt. Just do a better job prospecting for your next match … it might be the one made-in-heaven.
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Lynn deLearie Consulting, LLC, helps nonprofit organizations develop, enhance and expand grant programs, and helps them secure funding from foundations and corporations. She can be contacted at lynn.delearie@gmail.com..
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