Month: October 2011

Either I have weird friends or friends who just know weird things. To be quite honest, they know true, scary things. Not exactly Edgar Allan Poe but still interesting facts of history I thought I’d share on Halloween. Not exactly Cave Man stuff, but close. I’m thinking more 15,000 B.C., but we’ll find humor just 500 years ago.

Oh, but these are useful fun things that trainers and speakers can use. I could be wrong, but I’m probably not, since history was made before copyright law.

At any rate, check out the true stories (as told to me) as to why we humans do things we do, why we have sayings and poetry that makes no sense today. Not that it was terribly deep then. This may get a little deep itself, so if you are do-do sensitive, please refrain from reading. No laughing or smiling for you.

Some of these facts would be straight from Ripley’s, but these are from Ron Harris, a friend of mine and fellow actor, via someone else via someone else until we get to some monk in the dark ages. However, this is the time of dark. Halloween, and not of dark days ahead. Check this out…

Friend Ron says, “Us older people need to learn something new every day…just to keep the grey matter tuned up.”

Ever wonder where the term “piss poor” come from? I always thought it was a “dad” original. Interesting History.

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot. And, then once a day the urine was taken and sold to the tannery…and if you had to do this to survive you were “piss poor.”

But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot. They “didn’t have a pot to piss in” and were the lowest of the low.

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because of the water temperature. If it isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be.

Here are some more facts about the 1500s:

• Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.
• Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water.

• The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.
• Hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the Bath water!”

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm so all the cats and other small animals including mice and bugs lived in the roof.

• When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.
• Hence the saying, “It’s raining cats and dogs.”

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed.

• Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection.
• That’s how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.

• Hence the saying, “dirt poor.” The wealthy had slate floors.

(Getting quite an education, aren’t you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.

• Hence the rhyme: “Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old?”

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, “bring home the bacon.” They would cut off a little to share with guests and, you guessed it, they would all sit around and chew the fat.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

• Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination of lead and alcohol would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.

• Hence the custom; of holding a wake?

England is an old and small country, and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, one out of twenty-five coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.

• Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be “saved by the bell” or was considered “a dead ringer.”

And that’s the truth, according to Ron.

Now, whoever said History was boring! So, get out there and educate someone! Share these facts with a friend. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What the heck happened?” Now we know.

“We’ll be friends until we are old and senile. Then we’ll be new friends. Smile, it gives your face something to do!”

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For more resources about training, see the Training library.

Imagine training others, not only how to make the wheel, but how it could be used to make life easier. This trainer had a full-time job. He probably ate well, too, thanks to grateful people.

I should probably explain the “Cave Man” thing. I wrote an inexpensive ebook called The Cave Man Guide to Training and Development. It’s subtitled “A Common Sense Guide by the CEO of Acting Smarts.” And it seems to be resonating in the training development community. I even have students in several universities using it as a study guide in the formal academic process because it makes plain sense. Still, since it kind of came out of the blue, and as a reaction rather than a rush to make money, I feel an explanation is necessary.

At first glance, most people think it is like the famous commercial, but it is not, “So easy a caveman can do it.” I’m not addressing simplicity–not that it isn’t–but I am referring to the time when we learned the basics and how going back to basics is not always a bad idea. I am also referring to two parts: “Cave,” which is a place of work, home, society, etc. and Man,” which is man at work, man at home, man in society.

It is a way of looking at training and development, and soon at communication in general how we can find solutions we are making so hard and expensive for ourselves. I know I don’t have all the good ideas in the world, but like all of us I am trying to make a difference.

My difference is in pointing out sometimes the obvious, but more often those things we have forgotten. Most situations are no-brainers when you put people in the equation, but we get hung up on this complex and complicated world, and stick to what we know.

We leave the very people out who can help us out of the picture because “it isn’t done that way here.” We ignore them or their talents and skills because they don’t fit the papers we’ve written on how it should be done. Too bureaucratic? Perhaps. Do we have to be? Is it all about money? If it is, maybe we should examine why we became a company in the first place, when we had all these new, risky ideas and people with vision.

There is probably some clever quote on how people and companies that don’t change, wither and die, but that sounds more like Poe. Doom and Gloom. But I’m not trying to be gloomy. In fact, just the opposite. What if we looked at every opportunity in the company as a way for people to shine. When they shine, we, their supervisors look good, and the company looks. Companies that do that now are enjoying tremendous staying power when other companies stuck in the near past (not caveman times) are faltering in this economy.

Trite as the saying may be, people are our greatest resource, and yet we abuse them and expect them to work for us without complaint because we give them money to support to their families, to survive. Ever really think about why going postal happens? It’s not all deranged individuals; it may have to do with some basic needs not being met and survival of the fittest takes on new meaning, and not a positive one.

People are trying to survive and for the right opportunity that rewards them with praise and kindness for a job well done, they’ll probably do more for you if couldn’t pay them until the following week–if they truly trusted you. You only get that by trusting them. Of course there are exceptions. People who take advantage, people who use others, people who want power and don’t care who gets in the way. I have my suspicions these behaviors may have manifested themselves over the long term abuse they perceived they received from others. Think not only of Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs also motivational theories, and Darwin’s evolutionary survival of the fittest–the term, which by the way was not defined by Darwin, but Charles Spenser, a philosopher of the day.

The term has “evolved” (pun intended) to encompass more than Darwin’s biological theory. I think we can also include Darwin’s basic ideas in the evolution of the human mind beyond Maslow’s actualization as we strive as humans to survive in the modern world certain adaptations are occurring even now.

Although I am a psychologist, I don’t think in those terms necessarily. I am a communicator, which I think takes in other aspects of the dynamics. I am also a theatre critic.

Strange as it may sound, this unusual combination has brought me to the Cave Man approach. I was a “formal” trainer for a number of years and did it all from managing, developing and delivering training; I was a public affairs officer, which if you don’t know is different from the public relations officer. The public relations officer is thinking about the company, first and foremost, while the public affairs officer is wide open and looking out for the public good, within the realms of confidentiality and propriety.

The difference means the public affairs officer cares about the public more directly while the public relations officer is concerned about the public connection to the company. Nothing wrong with either tact, but there is a different perspective. My job as a critic has enabled me to look at theatre, which as an art, reflects–dramatizes even–the nature of man. The Cave Man. Who we are at our base. Our basic needs. Our desires.

This is the Cave Man Approach. You could probably find some New Age way of branding it, but I like basic. It’s fun to imagine what life was life when we were trying to find ways to survive, to grow as a society, to thrive as a community.

There were experiences in my life that set me over the edge, that made me realize things were stupid the way they were. That’s putting it bluntly, but some days I’m not known for subtlety. If saying something is stupid and offends someone. I apologize for offending, but it is still stupid. I can do better. One of my most popular blogs is really a rant. It’s called The Needs Assessment Disconnect and I’ve expanded it in my book, The Cave Man Guide to Training and Development. The rant began as I was filling out a needs assessment form.

Now remember I was a trainer at the national corporate-level myself and I know how these things come about and how they are used. My boss, who might complain my productivity and others is now giving us something else to do without any preamble. Filling out a Training Needs Assessment. From that, of course, our training will be developed; our training that no one will really want to attend; that will see no reward us for as employees.

The idea is that this training is for us and therefore we should fill out what we think we need, how what we have in-house is useful, and would train willingly and enthusiastically. All I could think of was to ask a question: how does this benefit me? It didn’t; it benefited the company if they increased productivity because of it. Would we receive credit on our evaluations for taking this training? No, but if we didn’t it would be reflected.

Top it off, we had a meeting later that day and managers were concerned if we gave this same training to contractors who worked for us, they could take that training, put it on their resume and use it on another job. Bet the contractors had it in “their” evaluations.

My point is: all this is fine for the company, but anyone in communication knows the audience (the people) matter most. That’s why you are there. The company has customers. Last I checked they were people, too. Do they want to work with a company or people? I think the answer is people they trust with a company name for reputation.

You’ve heard the term–all we learned in kindergarten? Well, this goes further back. Not only that, but people like being included. The needs assessment says we need you, but at the same time “kicks you in the ***.” Training is a mainstay with any organization. Don’t train and people who don’t know what to do–let alone be productive. Make that training count. Make it part of their portfolio. The military does.

I wrote a piece asking why all training and professional development couldn’t be like training for your black belt. See the article and you’ll see what I mean. Every step of the way the training is counted, rewarded and respected by peers. We say accomplishments say what we are capable of; training is an accomplishment. On the other hand, training alone doesn’t cut it, but fix that by being honest.

You may have a job to fill and I may need that job, but one day I’m just going to wish I could punch you out for treating me like an idiot… Can’t say that much does much productivity. Or, job growth for either one of us. Then, the Cave Man would have used his club. Problem solved.

Better yet, let’s embrace the Cave Man. Let’s see if we can get rid of petty maneuvering for power and reward merit. It doesn’t always have to be a promotion. People know others may have more of what it takes to do a certain job and should be rewarded for it. Recognize or seek to know other talents your people may have and interests they might want to pursue. You might discover something wonderful to benefit all in the form of a new product or process. Maybe some ways we do things have to be do overs, starting with the people. Leave egos and clubs behind and talk as people.

As for a good and reasonable how to do a needs assessment, check out this link: http://www.dirjournal.com/guides/how-to-conduct-a-training-needs-analysis/

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For more resources about training, see the Training library.

My book, The Cave Man Guide to Training and Development, is available now. It’s inexpensive and is available in several downloadable e-book forms, including basic PDF. My blogs here on The Free Management Library do reflect my own opinion, but I do accept opposing views and even guest bloggers. Check out the link at the top. The place to find my other writings as well is currently called Shaw’s Reality (which works well for writing, not so much for training).

Happy training.

These Questions and Answers lay out in plain and simple–in Cave Man terms–how easy it is to be misunderstood. Not only be misunderstood, but be quite funny in the process–intentional or not. Enjoy.

While I suspect this series of jokes hits the Internet every so often, the answers did make me smile so I thought I’d share them with you. It’s that time of year anyway. I have no idea of the origin of these questions, but something tells me there is modicum of truth to them as there is to any humor.

I was sent an e-mail that contained these Qs and As. I thought they were a little scary–only in the OMG factor that students may actually think like this–and perfect for Halloween pleasure, and so I thought I’d share.

Humor keeps our attention in training and educational instruction of any kind. In communication it is an invaluable tool. Besides, it is healthy to laugh, or so say the scientists.

These are indeed treats, not tricks; although I’ve been told by students I have tricked them into learning. To which I reply, “And, this is bad, why?”

The following questions were sent in last year’s GED examination These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)…………and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons.

A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.

A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q. How is dew formed?

A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?

A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight.

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?

A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?

A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.

Q. What are steroids?

A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. (Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)

Q. What happens to your body as you age?

A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. (So true)

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.

A. Premature death.

Q. What is artificial insemination?

A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour.

A. Keep it in the cow. (Simple, but brilliant.)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)

A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U…

Q. What is the fibula?

A. A small lie.

Q. What does ‘varicose’ mean?

A. Nearby.

Q. What is the most common form of birth control.

A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium. (That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’?

A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

Q. What is a seizure?

A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit.)

Q. What is a terminal illness?

A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable.)

Q. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?

A. Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.

Q. Use the word ‘judicious’ in a sentence to show you understand its meaning.

A. Hands that judicious can be soft as your face. (OMG)

Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?

A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight. (Brilliant.)

Q. What is a turbine?

A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head.

IS THERE ANY HOPE FOR US? You tell me.

Now, I don’t claim to be this funny, but I’d like to be… Might even take a class in comedic delivery. Does that sound like a real class, complete with a curriculum? Sounds about right for a speaker or trainer. Good to have in your repertory of tricks.

The timing seemed right for those of us who mock reality or celebrate the absurd with Halloween. Humor is the bridge to the ridiculous. We laugh because what we hear sounds true and not true simultaneously. If it is true–a treat, and not, well–a trick.

No offense is intended by these questions and answers. They are offered in the spirit of humor. If these are true answers, I suppose we should be concerned or train comics. By the way, I have thought that would be great training for professional speaker or trainer. As you all know, we all take many paths to get here.

Although I never intend to offend, it can happen as I try to hard too hard to be cute. Sarcasm, often used in humor, can be misconstrued to reflect a vindictive purpose. Sometimes it isn’t the words themselves and their intended meanings; it can be just the topic with “triggers” that set people off emotionally, but always–always I do my best to be fair and even. Even typos and misspellings can get you into trouble if you aren’t careful.

Still, there’s always room for a smile or laughter in the training environment. At least I hope there is. and, I think it’s worth it.

Contradictions are sometimes funny, we don’t always laugh at them. “I may live inside the box, but I always think outside.” And, whatever is politically correct? However, if we can laugh, we can relax. If we can relax, we can stop worrying about our troubles and listen and learn. Maybe live outside the box. I would be willing to bet everyone has learned something here in between uncontrollable laughter. The answers are important to the GED–no doubt, but we should all know these answers, which is what makes them funny. But you knew that already.

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For more resources about training, see the Training library.

If you can take more of me, more writings can be found on my web site. Can’t decide yet if it’s a cave or a website. My unusual and often thoughtful scribblings are under What I Say and range from training and development blogs found on this site, to theatre commentary and reviews. You may not see it now, but the two professions are intricately linked. Performance is performance after all. I have been told by others and almost believe it myself that performance reviewing is my profession; however, passionate communication is my life. My inexpensive, yet incredibly profound, interesting and amusing ebook is out now: The Cave Man Guide to Training and Development. In the very near future I hope to have another Cave Man book out based on my cave art and Cave Man approach to today’s life: The Cave Man Guide to Binding One’s Spear, or something like that. Happy training. Oh, and Happy Halloween!