Whether by mail, by phone, by a combination of both or face-to-face, there is language that will make your “asks” more productive.
But, first, to address what distinguishes a “smaller gift” from a “larger gift.”
If the gift makes a significant impact on your bottom line, it’s a larger gift. If it takes some time/planning to get the donor to make it, it’s probably a larger gift. If you get it as a result of a mass solicitation method, it’s probably a smaller gift. If it’s not a Major Gift, it’s a “smaller” gift.
A mass solicitation should never ask a (potential) donor to “give what you can,” to “give what’s comfortable, or to say that “any amount will help.” That’s not fundraising, that’s begging/whining/crying. Fundraising is about raising funds, about reaching fundraising goals, about raising enough to fund your programs.
Fundraising is about asking for a specific dollar amount, and there are a number of ways to do that:
By giving choices: 1) … indicating that $XXX will feed a hungry child for a month; 2) … that $YYY will pay the rent for a homeless family for a month; 3) … that $ZZZ will provide vaccinations for every child in a village….
By asking for $XXX and giving the choice of: 1) $YY per month; 2) $ZZ per quarter; or, $YZ twice during the year.
By asking for $XXX and giving the donor the option to send in the full amount right away, or spread out payments over the next twelve months.
By giving the donor the option to charge his/her gift to a credit card — at $YY/month.
By giving the donor the option to make their (first) payment later – “Would next month be good for you, or would the month after that be better?”
Whether you’re asking by mail, by phone or in person, you should know enough about your prospects to know what amount to ask for and what choices to offer.
Knowing that, you need to segment your prospect base so that the “asks” are appropriate for each constituency you’re addressing – different $Xs, $Ys and $Zs.
To support/strengthen your ASK, your gift return slip (for a mailing) should only give the choices you discuss in your letter.
For a conversation (by phone or in person), you never ask if your prospect would like to give, would like to support “the cause,” or would “like to think about it.” The choices you provide do not include “No” as a potential answer. The only options relate to how the donor will be most comfortable making the gift for which s/he was asked.
Now don’t get all worked up about how that’s not a “nice” way to treat a (prospective) donor !! Nice is attitude. Nice is a warm voice. Nice is sounding like you’re glad to be “talking” with the prospect. Nice is how you treat someone. “Nice” does not preclude doing your fundraising in an effective manner.
What do you think ??
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Have a comment or a question about starting, evaluating or expanding your fundraising program? With over 30 years of counseling in major gifts, capital campaigns, bequest programs and the planning studies to precede these three, I’ll be pleased to answer your questions. Contact me at AskHank@Major-Capital-Giving.com
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Have you seen The Fundraising Series of ebooks ??
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= If you’re reading this on-line and you would like to comment/expand on the above, or would just like to offer your thoughts on the subject of this posting, we encourage you to “Leave a Reply” at the bottom of this page, click on the feedback link at the top of the page, or send an email to the author of this posting. If you’ve received this posting as an email, click on the email link (above) to communicate with the author.
Time tracking. Invoicing. Success metrics. Key Contacts. Managing a project can become overwhelming quickly. And the tools we use to track these aspects of projects can quickly become too time-consuming. That inclination project managers have to track any critical or risky component requires moderation and thought. As we know, with the addition of every tracker (and data point for that matter), comes exponentially more work in maintaining it.
Track Your Trackers
Like so many approaches to successful project execution, upfront planning and risk-mitigation is critical. Rarely, however, is the risk of complex and misaligned tracking considered and discussed. At the start of a new project or phase then, the Project Manager should have the right conversations in order to craft an effective Tracking Plan. Essentially, this document will track your trackers.
Information Overload
Before exploring the components to your ‘Tracking Plan’, let’s take a minute to reflect on the dangers of tracking. Why is tracking a high-risk activity?
The rise of technology has made data and information capture remarkably easy. Oftentimes for no money at all, anyone can store gigabytes of data for almost nothing. As a result, a “Why not?” mentality has risen, when it comes to storing data. There is a danger to all this. Let’s try not waste anyone’s time (including our own) by keeping track of too much data that no one will consume.
Ask yourself:
• “Will this data help someone make a business decision?”
• “Will knowing this actively mitigate risk?”
• “Am I already capturing this information elsewhere? In another tracker or some other database?
Which Are Your SLAs?
Firstly, when you or your organization made the agreement to deliver a project, you (hopefully) agreed upon Service Level Agreements (SLAs). These SLAs are those items that, if you don’t deliver, can be deemed a breach of contract and lead to legal action. No one wants that situation, so include tracking of your SLAs in your Tracking Plan. I have unfortunately, seen too many instances of well-run projects being unable to report metrics against their SLAs. It is crucial to identify proper metrics and discuss them with the client so there are no unpleasant surprises.
Must-Haves
Consider what your organization requires from an operational standpoint. There are certain trackers you won’t be able to avoid that your company might require to operate successfully. Fine, those are needed. After addressing what your organization needs, think about the project. Would it be disastrous to not track vacations with a large deployment in December? Maybe. And after determining what your team needs to function, think, too, about what your team needs to be happy. Metrics that boost team morale can make the difference between a good project and a great project.
Mind the Gap (and the Overlap!)
Once you have defined what needs to be tracked, look for overlaps. Look for gaps. You do not want to waste time tracking the same information in several places. That sounds like a sure-fire way to have out of sync information. For those out there tracking with MS Excel, it may be worth the effort of learning how to use Macros if that means better data quality.
In summary: applying our planning expertise to project tracking will provide the framework we need to succeed. No more trackers that repeat the same information from a different lens. If a gap arises, let us be flexible, make an amendment, and improve our Tracking Plan.
Cristian is currently a Consultant with SapientNitro and pursuing a Master’s degree at Columbia University. He has consulted as an IT Project Manager in the aerospace, education, non-profit, consumer products, and financial industries.
In 2010, I posted a series herefocused on leaders’ making great improvements in their effectiveness by working with their systemic story. I continue to do Leadership coaching with executives and continue to learn. Now, I am writing a book that will help leaders and others connect to their core through story work. This group of posts will be part of that work.
The Presence and Power of Stories
Our lives are full of stories. Stories are, almost literally, everywhere. They are so much a part of who we are and what we do as human beings that, like the air we breathe, we often don’t notice their constant presence. Stories are a key part of our movies, television, books, communication, religion, work, humor, conversation, and thinking. They are one of the primary ways we pass our experience, wisdom, and foibles from individual to individual, group to group, generation to generation. And most powerfully, our stories are a reflection of who we are at our core—who we are as individuals and as a species on the planet.
Stories cover the whole gamut of human experience, from our descriptions of the universe, e.g. the Big Bang “story”, to expressions of our deep inner selves–our core personal stories. While taking both into account, this work focuses primarily on the latter, our deep personal stories, how we can learn to know them more clearly, how they help us, how they can constrain us, and how we can, when we wish, learn to “see them anew” and create even more powerful personal stories that reflect not only our life experiences to date but also empower us to reach our highest aspirations for the future.
Stories and Leadership
Stories are critical for leaders. Every leader has a deep personal story, a “systemic story” that shapes her/his patterns of leadership. Recent work in leadership and leadership development suggests a new answer to the age-old question: “What makes a leader?” We have searched for, among other things, common traits, patterns of behavior, and core competencies that characterize leaders. But we are discovering that what makes the most powerful leaders, the authentic leaders, are not necessarily common traits, behaviors, or competencies. What makes the most powerful leaders is that they live in congruence with and become the masters of their own personal stories—that they live consistently from who they deeply are. This material is intended to help leaders, coaches and others become clear about their core and live from it creatively.
If you would like to learn more about story work and/or consider story coaching, feel free to call or email me at:
Steven P. Ober EdD President: Chrysalis Executive Coaching & Consulting Affiliate: Systems Perspectives, LLC Office: PO Box 278, Oakham, MA 01068
Home: 278 Crocker Nye Rd., Oakham, MA 01068
O: 508.882.1025 M: 978.590.4219
Email: steven.p.ober@gmail.com
www.ChrysalisCoaching.org
Steve is a senior executive coach and consultant. He has developed and successfully uses a powerful approach to leadership coaching, Creating your Leadership Story, which enables leaders to make deep, lasting improvements in their leadership effectiveness in short periods of time. He and a group of partners created a breakthrough educational program, Coaching from a Systems Perspective, in which you can significantly enhance your abilities as a systemic leadership coach. See http://SystemsPerspectivesLLC.com.
Astute PR moves from both sides in a contemporary crisis
Savvy parties have been using the court of public opinion to sway disagreements to their side for years, so why not the two sides facing off in the Chicago Teacher’s Union strike? With both teachers and city leadership jockeying for position with what could only be carefully planned and coordinated moves, they’ve got a real war of reputation on their hands.
“I think they’re both playing their cards right,” Jamie Izaks, president of All Points Public Relations, told PR Daily. “It’s remarkable how savvy both sides are at this.”
On Monday morning, teachers established picket lines outside of their schools before thousands of them gathered in downtown Chicago to march alongside parents and other supporters. They vowed to stick together until a fair contract is reached.
“[The union] has a good sense of what the media wants,” said Wes Bleed, vice president of Mack Communications in Naperville, Ill., and former WGN radio anchor. “They know how to tell their story. At the rallies, they’re getting big numbers. They’re organized.”
While teachers’ marched, the mayor held a press conference at one of the churches where students can gather during the strike.
“Don’t take it out on the kids of Chicago if you have a problem with me,” Emanuel said while standing in front of a group of children—a savvy PR move on his part, according to Thom Serafin, CEO of Serafin and Associates in Chicago.
Indeed, the sometimes abrasive Emanuel, who’s known to square off with reporters, seems to be gaining points with the public.
“I think he’s becoming a little more of a sympathetic character in this whole thing,” said Bleed, who also noted one failing of the mayor. “I don’t think he did a great job of explaining why they couldn’t come to terms.”
As with just about everything else these days, the battle also spilled over into social media, complete with celebs Tweeting their support of one side or another and a whole slew of hashtags allowing the public to track the conversation.
This situation, perhaps the first truly modern teacher’s strike, should serve as a warning to employers of all kinds. No longer will there be quiet picketing that goes unnoticed by all but a few local media outlets, gone are the days of low-attendance meetings at the local head office.
To be successful, contemporary crisis management for labor disputes will have to embrace the reality that the entire drama can and will be played out across social media, and in this way (if the story is juicy enough, at least) gain a reach that could only be imagined a few years ago. In order to navigate the crisis and return to business as usual, employers will have to not only appease disgruntled employees, but also convince the public that they’ve done the right thing. No easy task, to be sure.
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For more resources, see the Free Management Library topic: Crisis Management
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I’ve always liked the poem by Lao Tsu on creating world peace. It helps me remember to focus on creating peace within me in order to create more peace elsewhere.
If there is to be peace in the world,
There must be peace in the nations.
If there is to be peace in the nations,
There must be peace in the cities.
If there is to be peace in the cities,
There must be peace between neighbors.
If there is to be peace between neighbors,
There must be peace in the home.
If there is to be peace in the home,
There must be peace in the heart. Lao Tzu
How can we create peace in our lives, our homes, our work, let alone our world, if we are not at peace?
Please join in sending your prayers for Peace
Next time you find yourself caught up in a power conflict, ego attachment, or judgement of others, tune in to yourself. See what is not at peace there. Breathe into your inner turmoil and work there.
To help you shift through a stress or worry, here’s a simple question you can ask yourself- “What would Love do now?”
Give yourself some time and quiet to see what answer emerges.
As you learn to bring yourself back to greater peace, harmony, balance, composure, you’ll be able to share that energy, that balance, that peace with others.
Sign-up on Linda’s website- www.lindajferguson.com for tools you can use to live and work with passion and purpose.
Buy now Linda’s 10th Anniversary edition of “Path for Greatness: Work as Spiritual Service”.
Linda J. Ferguson, Ph.D. is an Author, Speaker, Coach supporting spiritually connected people to move through their challenges and stresses more quickly so that they can create greater harmony and balance in their life.
Having just finished the enjoying the spectacle that is the Summer Olympics, it’s now time to turn our attention to the CFC solicitation period, which began on September 1 and runs to December 15th.
The CFC is a Mandatory, Voluntary Program — That’s Not A Contradiction
The government requires that CFC campaigns be conducted in every Federal agency/office/location world-wide, but all participation and giving is voluntary.
We’re now in the CFC Solicitation Period. If your nonprofit is in the CFC, and you’ve taken the steps outlined in previous posts, this will be the busiest time of the year for your CFC Action Team.
What Matters – Communication and Teamwork
By now, you should have named your CFC Team Leader, a staff person who is responsible for organizing and getting the word out about your nonprofit’s participation in the CFC.
The biggest mistake made by CFC charities is that some go through the application process to enroll, and then they run a stealth campaign!
7 Tips To Help Ensure A Successful CFC Campaign
: 1. Website: Homepage: Make sure your homepage has the CFC logo with your charity’s
five-digit code number under the logo. This will answer 95% of the questions that
potential Federal donors will have when they come to your website. The logo itself
is a million dollar benefit made available to charities in the CFC, and just like the
Coca-Cola and Nike logos, it is recognized by millions of potential CFC donors.
Website: Workplace Giving Section– In addition to the homepage, in your donor
section, include info about workplace giving, thank people in advance, and ask them
for a payroll deduction pledge. It is also helpful to have examples of how a periodic
pledge will be used by your nonprofit, e.g. “Twenty dollars per pay period will pay for
food for a rescued puppy for a month,” etc.
2. Teamwork Leadership Exercise #1: Make sure every board member, staff member
and volunteer know that you’re in the CFC and what your code number is.
Note: To see how well this has been learned, have someone unknown to the staff call
your organization, and ask, “Are you in the CFC?” The answer from whomever they
reach should be “Yes we are, and this is our CFC code number. May I provide any
other information?”
This is a good test of how well your staff members are acting as part of your CFC team.
3. E-mail signature: Add to your e-mail signature that you participate in the CFC, and
thank any CFC donor in advance for their payroll deduction gift. This should be part
of every staff person’s e-mail signature block, and ask
your board members if they can include it on their e-mails as well.
4. CFC Special Events – Kickoffs and Charity Fairs: Register with your local
CFC office to let them know that you’re interested and able to participate in either
kickoffs or charity fairs. If you have a leader or board member who is a compelling
speaker, let them know that you’re able to provide a keynote speaker as well.
5. Location, Location, Location – If you have one, use it! If your charity is in a
location where there is drive-by or pedestrian traffic, put a sign up in your window,
or along the roadway with your name, the CFC logo, and your CFC 5 digit code. The
American Red Cross hangs a banner off the roof of its headquarters building, proving
that 18th century tools still work.
6. Teamwork Exercise # 2: Ask your constituents (e.g., donors, volunteers, staff, board
members, friends, etc.) if they have any “Federal Connections;” and, if so, ask them
to let those “connections” know that you’re in the CFC, and that their support in the
current CFC campaign would help a lot of people/kids/animals. They could even carry
a couple of your brochures to give to their “connections.”
7. Say Thank You Early & Often! With a CFC campaign you won’t get the names of your
donors released to you until next spring, so at any contact you have, let your potential
Federal donors know that you appreciate their gifts. If you are invited to charity fairs,
make sure to thank the charity fair organizer and the CFC Campaign manager. If you’re
invited to be a keynote speaker, thank the agency head in addition to the CFC volunteers
just mentioned.
These tips, however, can only help if you’re in the CFC campaign. If you’re not, yet, now is the time to begin thinking about applying for next year’s campaign. For a special free guide to help you make that decision, send me (Bill Huddleston) an email with “Guide” in the subject line, and I’ll be glad to send it to you.
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During his 25-year career in the Federal sector, Bill Huddleston, The CFC Coach, served in many CFC roles. If you want to participate in the Combined Federal Campaign, maximize your nonprofit’s CFC revenues, or just ask a few questions, contact … Bill Huddleston
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Have you seen The Fundraising Series of ebooks ??
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= If you’re reading this on-line and you would like to comment/expand on the above, or would just like to offer your thoughts on the subject of this posting, we encourage you to “Leave a Reply” at the bottom of this page, click on the feedback link at the top of the page, or send an email to the author of this posting. If you’ve received this posting as an email, click on the email link (above) to communicate with the author.
When you are preparing for a really important presentation, and you want it to be just right, what special steps should you take? Here are some tips that will help ensure that practice makes perfect:
Say it out loud. Just as soon as you have your main ideas on paper, begin practicing out loud. Work on the spoken version rather than seeking a word-perfect script. Rehearsing in your head is not the same as making yourself do it out loud.
Start to finish. Rehearse the entire presentation, not just the opening lines or the first half. If time is short, run through the whole thing once, then focus on practicing the beginning and end. Note that we too often assume the ending will take care of itself, and we are so relieved to get there we often drop the ball. Plan and rehearse the ending.
Start early. Rehearse with visual aids as soon as you can, so that you are comfortable with them from the beginning. You can continue to make refinements as you go. The more times you verbalize it, the better. And by making refinements and verbalizing again, you are less dependent on the perfect words.
Seeing is believing. Record or videotape your presentation, so you can hear or see it as the audience will. This will help you accurately pinpoint strengths and weaknesses. It should help you build your confidence as you see the things you are doing well. And help you shore up any weak spots.
Get input. Invite a small group to attend a rehearsal. They can ask questions a real audience might, and give you feedback on both content and delivery. Be sure to work on the questions they pose so that you are prepared for pretty much any question that arises.
You might be thinking “this is going to take some time.” True, but if the presentation is important, then the preparation is worth every minute of your time!
How to Read Your Audience
How do you know what your audience is thinking, how engaged they are, or how well they understand your content? If you are a novice speaker, keep in mind that while you want to be responsive, too much focus on the audience can be a huge distraction. Once you know your material really well, and have built some confidence, you may be able to begin periodically “checking in” to see how the audience is responding.
Be aware that it is very difficult to know what someone else is really thinking. Does arms crossed mean they are resisting your ideas, or that the room is too cool. Does lack of eye contact mean they are bored silly, or that they are thinking about another pressing matter? Does tapping at their phones mean they are tuned out, or are they taking notes on a smart phone? Each of these examples can be confusing and distracting, so just be aware that audience reactions can have a number of meanings and reasons.
That said, here are some strategies to help you begin to “read” your audience in order to increase awareness and the ability to adjust as needed, without losing focus:
Watch for trends. One person yawning does not mean you are boring. But if you see lots of yawns, crossed arms or lack of eye contact, prepare to take action. For example: ask open ended questions, suggest a “pop quiz” or announce a quick break.
Seek the real reasons. A quiet group might be dealing with issues that have nothing to do with you—or might just feel like being quiet. A lot of yawning might mean the room is too warm, or there was a late event the night before. Action: move your presentation to discussion. Pair people up and have them discuss what you just told them.
Ask questions. Try asking for a show of hands. Use open-ended questions, and be prepared to wait for answers. If your group is really silent, ask them to write their questions on a note card, or have them pair up and discuss their reactions. Or have a case study ready for them to work on.
Chat ‘em up. Visit with people before the presentation and on breaks to get a more informal “read.” Also check in on break; I once had an audience member who looked like he was disagreeing with everything I said. While visiting on the next break I realized he was squinting to see better and that he was perfectly comfortable with the content.
Put it in writing. Ask for feedback throughout your presentation via comment cards, Post-it™ notes, a straw poll or a vote. Read and respond to this feedback periodically.
While you need to keep your focus and not get too distracted, you can stay tuned to your audience’s needs and level of interest. Use these tips to be sure you have an accurate “read” before making dramatic changes in your presentation.
Shopping once again on L.L.Bean’s website, my attention was taken by the company’s customer service credo, proudly posted there for as long as I can remember.
During the time I spent in a for-profit business, before beginning my non-profit career, I became aware of the extent to which the for-profit sector was (had to be) steeped in customer service. From that perspective, L.L.Bean’s corporate customer service philosophy and practices are easy to recognize as having an extremely close parallel to what we do in our non-profit world.
Simply, the for-profit world’s “customer relations” is the equivalent of the non-profit world’s donor relations.
L.L.Bean’s customer service philosophy has served them well … over their (almost) 100 year existence, and is an example that we in the non-profit sector must emulate.
The following definition of a customer was a favorite of Mr. Bean’s, and I take license to show how it could/should apply to the non-profit world:
What is a Customer? (Who is a donor?)
(1) “A customer is the most important person ever in this office in person or by mail.”
• What if we were to make that read: A donor is the most important person ever in contact
with this organization.
(2) “A customer is not dependent on us. We are dependent on him.”
• How about: Donors do not need us. We need them.
(3) “A customer is not an interruption of our work. He is the purpose of it.”
• How about: Contact with donors is not an interruption of our work.
Our relationships with donors make our work possible.
(4) “A customer is not someone to argue or match wits with. Nobody ever won an argument with a customer.”
• How about: Donors are not people from whom we can demand support.
No organization is entitled to its donors’ money … we must earn it.
(5) “A customer is a person who brings us his wants. It is our job to handle them profitably to him and ourselves.”
• How about: Donors bring us their resources and philanthropic desires.
It is our job to use those resources and meet those philanthropic desires
efficiently, effectively, and as we have promised.
L.L.Bean’s five customer imperatives, after a little adapting to the non-profit setting (and to Bean’s outdoors’ focus), make fine “trail markers” for a truly donor-centric path. But it is to often a path where many people would rather hide behind the trees, ignore donor cultivation and leave all fund-raising responsibility to the development department.
The donor-centric path is blazed by the development director, executive director, and board chair. They are/should be followed by department heads and board members until, finally, it becomes a wide road to organizational success … well traveled by all staff and volunteers.
Our job as development professionals is to show our organizations where the path can take them.
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If you have a question or comment for Tony, he can be reached at Tony@raise-funds.com. There is also a lot of good fundraising information on his website: Raise-Funds.com
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Have you seen The Fundraising Series of ebooks ??
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= If you’re reading this on-line and you would like to comment/expand on the above, or would just like to offer your thoughts on the subject of this posting, we encourage you to “Leave a Reply” at the bottom of this page, click on the feedback link at the top of the page, or send an email to the author of this posting. If you’ve received this posting as an email, click on the email link (above) to communicate with the author.
“Whose Life Is It Anyway,” is the title of a play by Brian Clark along with more information from good old Wikipedia, complete with links to other respective sites. Wikipedia is a good place to start anyway.
I remember the movie made from the play most with Richard Dreyfuss, who plays an artist who lost the use of his body from the neck down and the debate about life begins from two very different perspectives.
I could have titled this Seven Ways For Cancer Patients to Cope, but the one at the top seems more fitting and there has to be more than seven. That’s all I could think of for the moment. For some patients, hearing they have cancer is Hell and they’d rather be dead, and I was one of them. Things change and I think training in an odd way can help everyone involved.
A funny thing happened to me after I was diagnosed with tongue and throat cancer. It was the timing that was funny.
Because of my reputation as a trainer and my emphasis on communication, I was called by a large Chicago hospital or its training representative and asked if I would be interested in training doctors and other medical staff on how to give patients bad news; the caller didn’t know my situation; he had seen my website.
Presumably, the caller assumed it would be some kind of acting training that I would perform. That is absolutely not the case, but it started me thinking that I would be a good candidate to train others how to deal with cancer patients–not only the doctors and medical staff, but patients and families, too. The downside is being too close to the subject, but that’s another article.
“We can cure it,” they say. But they mean delay the end. You will be cured for the moment and wait five years to see if it sticks–all the while coming back for test and re-test. It’s never out of your mind.
This article is about what is right and what is wrong about this health system, and we trainers can help everyone involved–not just the heroes who save lives, who definitely need more information–but also the patients. More than likely, it will be a long article–so probably two parts. Stay tuned.
Ironically, I had been diagnosed with a cancer usually attributed to smokers and drinkers and I am neither. And I had begun radiation and chemo treatment when I received the call.
By the way, I customize all my training to suit the organization. Nothing off the shelf unless it’s asked for. So, I’d be digging personally deep. I had another offer overseas to do two days of training for a fantastic sum of money, but I was afraid my energy-level could not maintain two days of training and, since I customize I would have been working from scratch. Big disappointment.
We reinvent ourselves and find another passion just to live to fight.
“We can cure it,” they say. But they mean delay the end. You will be cured for the moment and wait five years to see if it sticks–all the while coming back for test and re-test. Every little change in your body becomes reason for serious concern when it could be nothing. It’s never out of your mind.
Surgery for me would come later. Don’t worry, the cancer is gone for now, but I have five years to be checked out by doctors and machinery constantly before given an all clear or have it come back. I get to worry until November (almost a year) if I will continue to have no taste buds or be able to generate saliva. Eating anything solid tastes like rubber (if you can eat at all) and the healthy high-caloric shakes get old pretty quick. That’s enough about me personally.
I have been debating writing this article for eight months at least. As I tell my university students not to speak on something painfully personal, I am going to break my own rule. That’s the part about being too close to your subject.
I am like the athlete who breaks the bone critical to his success in the field and will never play again or the artist who goes blind. Believe it or not that’s the easy part.
We reinvent ourselves and find another passion.
For me it was hard. I was a tough guy who practically brought himself up and overcame many obstacles thrown at him–except this one. Left home at 15 and still graduated and earned three graduate degrees.
Remember, I am a professional speaker, actor, speaker and actor coach and wanted to do voice-overs, audio books, etc. Acting may not be much of an option: my voice volume has diminished as well as the quality of its sound. I don’t know if I can do a variety of characters or even have the strength to maintain a character on stage. Forget television or film. I have a slight scar on my neck (Physical therapy to deal with the swelling), but fortunately it’s hardly noticeable. Loss of beard is another matter.
I happen to live in a part of the country where we have an excellent cancer program and wonderful doctors and staff. (In fact, it was quite different when I had to go to the hospital for something not-related but treated not as a patient with cancer.) I was referred to several doctors, had several biopsies, and was given initial advice and information on how to cope generally, but, of course, everyone is different.
But coping can be Hell too, when your life has been so rudely interrupted and your dreams destroyed. Not the doctors or technicians part; the treatment was kind and caring.
Unfortunately when that is done, it seems you are on your own. It is not uncommon for clinical depression to set it; I was surprised there were few referrals or anyone you could just talk to. The staff give you a lot of paper about coping with the common after effects, but since you don’t know what will be specific to you, all of it is set aside until you do know. In truth, it is often forgotten. It seemed when I wasn’t on a cancer ward being radiated or chemo-ed, people were free with sympathy and tell you about a relative of theirs that died. That helped remind you of a non-future.
That is the beginning of the struggle, the blues, depression, lack of energy, lack of moving forward. But at least I was alive. That was questionable to me. Reading and television did nothing but depress me more.
They said, “It’s better than the alternative.” I wasn’t so sure.
Because patients often don’t want to eat tasteless food, feeding tubes are used for months to make sure you get the right nourishment. I used it most often two or three times a day when I got tired of the shakes. Later you can eat and make your own, but most of the ones you can taste at all are the same ones they put in your stomach in three flavors: chocolate, strawberry and vanilla.
I trained myself to appreciate textures by adding egg (for froth), fruit and weight gainer to the shakes. Later, I added sodas to give the shake a float-like texture. But the changes keep coming as the radiation and chemo continue to work on good cells because they can’t tell the difference between the cancer and good cells. So, it is up to you to sleep, exercise slightly, rest again and find ways to give yourself the impetus to keep going.
Regular training might keep the patient from thinking it just isn’t worth it? I’ll be at this a year before I will feel relatively normal–minus who I was before.
Research the success stories. Some patients just can’t deal with the regimen that follows treatment. The depression for this “bad news” is the same Post Traumatic Syndrome or Stress disorder usually associated with veterans these days. Perhaps, the depression…which impacts not only the patient needs to be researched and trained. Not everyone should need a psyche eval. The cost. The reactions of other people. They look at you like you’ve already died.
Those that can find a reason to live. Survive. Somehow we trained ourselves and others–not that the doctors and med techs do their part to give us information in the beginning. I had to ask a lot of questions. Focus groups met every three months and were impossible to do; I found days I just needed someone to talk to, or a pillow to cry into.
So, here’s where the training comes in:
Find what’s out there already and make sure you synthesize. One diagnosis or treatment or result does not fit all.
See if there ways to bring patients together with doctors to talk about things that doctors may not be thinking about; living is important, but what are the better answers to questions the patients have?
Keep training fees low. You can compensate with large groups–and they will come. One cancer treatment equals roughly $200,000 out of pocket. Be flexible and be ready for people who are emotional distressed and depressed.
Know your solutions when things get out of hand. Have volunteers or speakers, cancer survivors who know.
Mostly patients want to know their lives are not over. It’s hard to imagine if they are older. Find alternatives they might take up. remember, too, that entire families are affected in more ways than financially.
Be empathetic, not sympathetic. I found people looked at me as if I were dead already. I intend to get through this; that is what everyone should think.
Develop materials you can change easily as new ideas are added to coping with cancer treatment or after cancer treatment.
Finally, let them know this is a lifetime of changes, that some changes just come with old age, but some changes will be the result of the chemo or radiation or surgery.
Part two is coming and I’ll pull it all together training-wise. This has been a sampling of what trainers can do for patients. What trainers do for the doctors and medical staff comes next.
Keep in mind, the medical staff, especially the doctors see the cancer as biology and chemistry, and may find it hard to explain to a person what to expect. Don’t expect them to understand life is more than living to some people and that who they are defines life. Just being alive is not living for some people. Our job may be to develop ways to talk about different ways to talk to people.
To be totally fair the cancer staff I met were wonderful, but there are always exceptions, and trainers can help next time. Thanks for listening.
By the way, I’m quite up to speed now so check out my website. I may not be doing audio books, but I’m writing more of them. My novel, Harry’s Reality, is out now as well as The Cave Man Guide to Training and Development. My next two short books have to do with the real life application of theatre as an exploration of the human race and its sometimes odd, but understandable, behavior from an unusual perspective.
If you’ve never heard of him, it’s my distinct pleasure to make the introduction.
According to Wikipedia, “Chris Brogan is an American author, journalist, marketing consultant, and frequent speaker about social media marketing.” On Google Plus, Chris himself describes his work as, “Working with professionals to do the work they want, craft a clear vision, a plan of action, and build a network of support.”
His peers proclaim that “If Chris Brogan does it, you should do it, too.” So I want to share some very interesting insights from and about Chris.
Chris’ Email Newsletter
Some say that email newsletters are outdated, overlooked in crammed inboxes, and stale. Not Chris. But then again, he doesn’t do it the outdated and stale way. His newsletter comes every Sunday morning. That’s right. While the ‘experts’ advise that you send emails on Tuesday morning, Chris flies in their face, with his going out on SUNDAY. Why? I think it’s because no one else is doing it. They’re not. His is the only one I get on Sunday. Guess what? I read it.
Here is the intro from a recent post:
Hi Lisa!
“We all admit to having trouble with aika, Lisa. Only, you’d call it “time.” Pull up your coffee or your tea, and let’s chat this up. By the way, my tea today is an organic blood orange pu’ehr from David’s Tea. (not a sponsor or an affiliate link – I just like them)
“Our ally, Pasi, in Finland, translates these newsletters and some of my blog posts to Finnish for his audience. Today, I saved him one word. : )
“I want to start with a little story. My son, age 6, is going through something that’s causing him physical pain. I tried to explain that the pain he was feeling was only going to last a very brief amount of time, and that’s when I realized that he doesn’t really have an intellectual sense of time, only a primal understanding of it. More so, learning how to explain this to him gave me understanding about you, and about me.”
Making it Personal
You may have noticed that Chris used my first name. Twice. He also made it feel like a cozy chat, with soothing tea. He told me something interesting, and something personal about himself. Chris’ strategy is to make his weekly newsletter into a personal friendship that helps me feel more (appropriately) intimate with him, so that I’ll want to read the next one. Brilliant. It works.
Chris also ends with items like this:
AND FINALLY
“I’m grateful for everyone I know. I’m glad that I’ve had the pleasure to meet and spend time with tends of thousands of great people over the years. I intend to do this for the rest of my life. I look forward to getting to know more about you, to hear more about your challenges, to help in whatever ways I can. I will create as much useful information and give you as much support and caring and help as I can conceive.
“But I might not follow you back on Instagram, and I might not see every life event as it goes by. You’re still wonderful. You’re still valuable. And I count you as an ally.
With respect,
–Chris…
“No, there are no social sharing buttons. If you like this newsletter, please press forward and share it thoughtfully with a few friends (allies!). I value the personal connection we have here.Hit reply any time you’d like.”
________________
When was the last time you felt special by reading a newsletter?
Lisa M. Chapman serves her clients as a business and marketing coach, business planning consultant and social media consultant. She helps clients to establish and enhance their online brand, attract their target market, engage them in meaningful social media conversations, and convert online traffic into revenues. Email: Lisa @ LisaChapman.com
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