Building Your Assertiveness

Sections of this Topic Include

What is Assertiveness?
What About Aggressiveness? Are They the Same?
How Assertive Are You?
Strategies to Become More Assertive

What is Assertiveness?

In the context of management, assertiveness is respectfully and tactfully representing
yourself — your opinions and recommendations — fully to others. Here are some
definitions to consider:

Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without
being aggressive. In the field of psychology and psychotherapy, it is a learnable
skill and mode of communication.

Dorland’s
Medical Dictionary defines assertiveness as:

A form of behavior characterized by a confident declaration or affirmation
of a statement without need of proof; this affirms the person’s rights or
point of view without either aggressively threatening the rights of another
(assuming a position of dominance) or submissively permitting another to ignore
or deny one’s rights or point of view.

Many experts would argue that you can’t effectively lead others if you can’t
effectively lead yourself. Assertiveness is a major aspect of self-leadership.

What About Aggressiveness? Are They
the Same?

Assertiveness and aggressiveness are sometimes confusing to think about because
they can seem to be the same. However, they are different — actually quite
different. Here is a very
concise and useful description:

Assertive people state their opinions, while still being respectful of others.
Aggressive people attack or ignore others’ opinions in favor of their own.
…

Thus, you can be assertive (respectfully asserting your rights) without intending
to attack or ignore someone.

How Assertive Are You?

Take this online test to decide how assertive you are.

The
Assertiveness Inventory

Do you need to improve your assertiveness? Consider some of the strategies
listed below.

Strategies to Become More Assertive

It takes a certain amount of courage to assert yourself — to be seen, to risk
that your opinion may be wrong and that others might respond with strong disagreement
or even aggression. Here are some other traits that are useful in building on
your skills in assertiveness.

Authenticity
— to respectfully be honest and forthright about yourself, in the moment.

Emotional
Intelligence — to know what you are feeling and to sense how others might
react to your assertions.

Motivating
and Inspiring Yourself — to know what will give you the courage to be assertive.

Self -Awareness
— to realize that you are feeling offended, threatened or have a strong wish
that is not being honored.

Self-Confidence
— to have the faith in yourself that you can defend yourself — your pride
and your honor.

Vulnerability
— to risk how others might react to your assertions.

Here are some other suggestions:
How
to Be More Assertive at Work (Without Being a Jerk)
10
Tips for Being Assertive
A
Nice Person’s Guide To Becoming More Assertive
7
Powerful Habits That Make You More Assertive
Assertiveness: A Beginner’s
Guide to Standing Up for Yourself

Learn More in the Library’s Blogs Related to Assertiveness

In addition to the articles on this current page, see the following blogs which
have posts related to Assertiveness. Scan down the blog’s page to see various
posts. Also see the section “Recent Blog Posts” in the sidebar of the blog or
click on “next” near the bottom of a post in the blog.

Library’s
Coaching Blog
Library’s
Human Resources Blog
Library’s
Spirituality Blog

For the Category of Personal Wellness:

To round out your knowledge of this Library topic, you may want to review some related topics, available from the link below. Each of the related topics includes free, online resources.

Also, scan the Recommended Books listed below. They have been selected for their relevance and highly practical nature.