Author: Jack Shaw

If we only knew what others were thinking, it would make our job so much easier as trainers. Especially if we are a trainer for the hospitality industry as a friend of mine. Cherry Santos, Learning & Development Manager at Taj Resorts & Palaces, is working on a module simply titled:

“How to Read People’s Minds” – How to Approach Your Guests in the Restaurant or Hotel

This got me thinking that this is an important topic. She said and I’m sure you would agree that while “you can read body language, use empathy, or make educated guesses on what a person might be thinking or feeling, reading minds is simply impossible. The value of this workshop would be to assist hotel associates to interact/communicate effectively among guests, or anyone, for that matter.” It’s a good idea.

In this age of international travel, it’s easy to overlook the basics about invading other guest’s personal and private space, sometimes just by talking to them or reaching for a plate at the wrong time. The last thing an hotel associate wants to do is irritate a customer. Yet, if he or she does not intervene at the proper moment, there is the risk of neglecting the “guest’s experience.” Or, even worse, alienating that guest.

Now that I got your attention with reading minds, I’ll tell you what I think are some solutions. Is there a way to read minds? Probably not really, but we can ask ourselves what works for us as customers.

Trevor Penton, a communications consultant in the United Kingdom, weighs in, “If I go to a hotel or restaurant, I want the service to contribute to a positive experience; proactive, but not intrusive, open, friendly, caring, and engaging. If I were putting your module together, my focus would be on two key areas:

• Raising awareness of how to read body language; visual and verbal cues, and critically what signals the hotel/restaurant guests are giving off about their mood.
• Practical tools/techniques to help the hotel/restaurant staff come across as great hosts: proactive, open, friendly, caring, empathic and being great ambassadors for the hotel/restaurant.

Obvious stuff but critical to get right to enhance guests experiences.”

I would agree. However, still too often that “caring” comes off as artificial based on the guests’ preconceived view of expectations. Behind all this employee “friendliness” a guest has an obligation to show his or her gratitude for service rendered. It’s difficult to have genuine relationship based on that. When money or a favor is expected, there exists a business relationship, plain and simple. So, how can you change that relationship, and maintain it at the same time?

If we were only able to read minds.

Interpersonal communication is complex, full of nuances, possible miscues, unknowns, and yet we manage to get along with each other every day and most of us survive. Listen, watch and learn. I just made that up for this occasion. Expressions and body language say a lot, but there is a lot you don’t know and can’t assume is going on.

In my government job, I have about a minute to scrutinize the people I talk to before I start talking. I need to listen to them. It’s important to know “who” my customer are and genuinely care about that. Hospitality staff have less time than that.

Perhaps, the answer is as basic as operating with no expectations. Look at the behavior of most staff in an “all-inclusive” resort where tipping is totally forbidden. Nice, friendly, approachable people open your guests’ hearts and although those guests may forget the staff for the moment, they remember the actions later when it is really important–like re-booking. And, I’ve been known to run down an employee later to “thank” them for their seemingly unselfish service.

Sometimes, training is an attitude culture change, not an act you can necessarily train for. As always I welcome comments, opposing views, and wisdom from readers. If I can be service as a trainer or communicator, or even as an actor, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

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For more resources about training, see the Training library.

My last two blogs focused on “acting” and “speaking,” and how those areas affected trainers. Trainers admittedly use both skills as well as organizational and facilitation skills, which could circle back to basic communication. Rather than go all the way back, I want to focus on another concept: teaching and teachers. Is it fair to compare training and teaching, and teachers and trainers?

To keep it simple, I’ve used a definition from MSN Encarta:

• Training is (1) acquiring of skill – the process of teaching or learning a skill or job, (2) improving of fitness – the process of improving fitness by exercise and diet.
• Teaching: (1) a teacher’s profession (2) something taught.

It seems training encompasses teaching; therefore, we, trainers, teach something. Does that mean we teachers also train? “Sure, sometimes,” we say. If we stick to our definition, teachers do not always teach a skill or a job, not specifically. So, we hesitate to say plainly, “Yes, we teach and we train.” Traditionally, it always seemed to me we trained a skill (specific) and taught an education (general). Is reading a skill? It’s called a skill. Accounting? Skill or knowledge? You need both. Entrepreneurship? Leadership? I can get really philosophical.

Do we train what we learned on the job and teach what we learned in school? And, the second definition on training, “improving of fitness” makes me think. Teachers improve the fitness of our minds… Contradictions abound based on perception and experience.

Okay, what’s similar? We both have classrooms and we may use interactive activities. Our end goals may be different. It may be obvious that teachers present more knowledge that may be waiting for our final adaptation of that knowledge further down the road in life. I saw a hand go up. “But… But…” Yes, trainers, consultants and coaches do that as well.

Maybe there is only a perceived difference based on the label that we put on what we do. In my home, I am a dad with my kids (my students), but sometimes I’m the judge, the facilitator or the referee. Come homework time or crisis time, I am the teacher. If I am showing my son how to operate a computer program or the lawnmower, or demonstrating to my daughter how to analyze a script and give her insight to help her act the part she has, is that more training than teaching? I think we are more apt to call it training if it is more specific—especially to a job, but we all teach.

How we teach, especially if what we give our students is interactive and given to them to learn by doing, we may want to call that training. But in teaching manuals, textbooks on learning—it is kinetic learning, just one of several ways people learn. Others learn better by listening or seeing rather than doing. If you are a trainer or a teacher, you know this. So, maybe, how-to is training. And, why is teaching. Maybe, it doesn’t matter. I hope I’ve given you something to thing about.

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For more resources about training, see the Training library.

Training and teaching is who I am, and I hope I’m good at it. Whatever we call it, I’d rather do that than anything else–except maybe write. My best seller is The Cave Man Guide to Training and Development. One of these days, I hope to have a couple companion guides. Interested in the way humans behave and create, I publish Shaw’s Reality, where I post various commentaries on teaching, training, writing and publishing, and talk about reality from various points of view. Those who follow my blog attempt to read between the lines of film, theatre and novels, or anything that has a reality beneath the surface. Here you will also find clips and discussion about my YA science fiction/dystopian novel, In Makr’s Shadow, where I explore human nature, essentially what is beneath the obvious storyline. By the way, the novel is available from all major booksellers electronically.

I welcome your comments and discussion.

“I y’am what I y’am, what I y’am.”

Now, I am an actor, a speaker, and a trainer–as well as a writer. When I act, I act. When I speak, I speak. When I train, that’s different, too. As I said earlier in my previous blog, acting is more than “being someone else” or “a scripted performance.” Keep in mind that there is a huge difference between those actors on film and those on stage–so don’t give me the unprepared actors’ speeches at the Academy awards routine.

Here’s something to think about: I use acting coaching methods to help speakers and trainers to better know how to interact with their audience.

While some people believe actors need a script to act, the best do not. There is a lot more to acting than some people think. Some actors can make it look so natural. Actors do interact with their audience (not always directly) and they damn well better be aware how they are affecting them.

Actors need to be sincere and real in their delivery as well; if they are not, believe me, they will get told by me as a performance critic that they are not doing their jobs. So it goes for anyone who is communicating with an audience. Trainers and public speakers come to mind.

There were some great comments and, unfortunately, some not so well-informed ones made in response to the LinkedIn question on actors and speaker differences that prompted the blog above. The very fact I come from an acting background and used “Acting Smarts” as the title of my company and blog may have made some “business professionals” think I teach only acting.

I teach communication. I don’t make a speaker become someone else to deliver a message; I help that person use who they are–the best of who they are–to present his or her message. The ability to act only makes me more comfortable at connecting with my audience in a personal way.

We, actors, often reach deep inside and willing to share those truths. But the same can be said of many people and many professions, yes? It just happens to work for me and entertain as well.

We all need a reality check once in a while (trainers, too) and I’ve kind of made that my job in a few areas. I call it Shaw’s Reality. Check out my best-seller based on posts here, The Cave Man Guide to Training and Development, and my futuristic novel, In Makr’s Shadow, talks of a time when people no longer may communicate freely and socializing without being vetted and matched is a capital offense.)

By the way, my background includes a masters in social psychology as well as an interdisciplinary dual masters in English and Speech/Drama with an emphasis in performance criticism. As for practical application, I have 30+ years in government and the military (my “day” job) as a spokesperson, trainer and writer, and continued to freelance as an actor whenever possible.

Actors are not only actors, speakers not only speakers, and trainers not only trainers, but a polygamous marriage and more; each are communicators in his or her own rights, and the best of us do whatever it takes and learn whatever we can to get the job done.

This makes me think of a great follow-up: What makes a great trainer? What is the difference between a public speaker and a trainer? A speech or training session? Next time. I invite your comments and questions. And, if you are looking for someone to communicate to an audience any of these things, please let me know. Happy training.

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For more resources about training, see the Training library.

Submitted by Guest Writer, Antonio Centeno
President, A Tailored Suit

The Effect of Clothing on Training – How to Dress Professionally for Successful Training

The direct relationship between clothing and a person’s state of mind has been observed for thousands of years. To see this in practice, simply look at how militaries, hospitals, and religious leaders the world over have uniforms that their professions utilize. The right clothing signals authority and a level of professionalism that can be expected. Wearing the right clothing for you, your audience, your training environment, and preparing for the worst case scenario can ensure your training session is successful.

Know Your Personal Style

First and foremost, a person should dress with confidence in clothing that he or she knows they look great in. If you are confident in your appearance, it allows your inner energy to shine right through. And although you might be slightly over or under dressed, your audience will forgive this small transgression once you confident engage them with the subject matter.

To understand your personal style, you should be aware of the colors, style, and fits that best compliment your body. And although this will narrow down what you should wear, it in no way restricts your personal style as a smart dresser realizes that within these confines are actually the right choices that will best compliment natural features. Some people look great in dark and light contrasting colors than fit closely; others are better off wearing loose fitting earth tones with low contrast accents.

Know your Training Audience

Almost as important as your personal style, knowing your audience is imperative to a person looking to effectively train a group. Meeting with a group of business student at New York University – they’re used to meeting with bankers and businessmen wearing custom suits. Training a group of construction business owners in Oregon? Expect a more casual atmosphere, but you’ll still need to ensure your clothing is professional and non-distracting from your message. If you are ever in doubt, ask; and if the audience is a bit unorthodox in their dress (a friend of mine did some training at a nudist colony and was going to be “overdressed” even in a towel), then revert to your personal style. As long as it does not offend, and you are comfortable, the message will be relayed.

Know your Training Environment

Is the training going to be taking place outdoors on the beach in Southern California? Are you going to be indoors, but perhaps in a building whose AC is notorious for breaking down during hot Houston summers? Know your environment, and if possible get as much information from your host if you are not controlling where the training will take place. If you are in control of the location, then arrive early to ensure the environment is stabilized and a non-factor. Strong winds can make wearing that dress a very unnecessary distraction or unseasonably cold day will mean you’ll need a sharp looking wool men’s overcoat as that bright Columbia Ski Jacket Coat isn’t going to cut it.

Prepare for the Worst

Always have an extra change of clothes with an emergency repair kit such as thread, needle, buttons, and scissors. Coffee spills on white shirts and popped buttons are inconveniences for your audience, for the person up on stage training they are a distraction that can cause you to lose your audience’s attention. Be prepared with an extra set of clothing also enables you to better address the weather problem

Conclusion – Training and your Appearance

There are many things you can’t control when you are training a group; the room you’ll be in, the quality of the equipment you’re provided, and the mood of the audience before they meet with you. However, what you decide to wear is firmly under your direction. Don’t let a lack of preparation when it comes to your clothing be a factor in whether or not your training event is a success. Understand the importance of your appearance, and then put yourself in a position to succeed by dressing appropriately.

Antonio Centeno
President, A Tailored Suit
Custom clothing you’ll pass onto your son

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For more resources about training, see the Training library.

See also: http://actingsmarts-jackshaw.com/

Do prepare your speakers with all the information you can about the conference, including theme, size and organizational expectations. Don’t let speakers assume it’s business as usual. Sometimes, those of us who speak or train need reminders that we shouldn’t assume too much either.

I recently had the pleasure of speaking at a conference, and I was the one who did the assuming. I have no excuse. It was a last minute affair and I admit the occasion was most important for me as a visibility opportunity. As a speaker who talks about communicating–and a trainer, too, the process seemed a no-brainer. No insult intended for the organization. I caught myself assuming way too much. Normally, I address subjects on presenting, on training, on getting an audience to listen, on the “how-tos” and “why-fors” of communication in general so I should have known better.

As anyone–trainer, seminar leader, facilitator should expect when invited to present at a workshop or conference, there are some basic logistical details to begin with and then more details, those about your audience, for example, once you know. This was a group I thought I knew. As a trainer, I was sure I could handle any situation that might arise from not having a microphone or projector or screen, but what I had not counted on were audience expectations in how I would present that material. This particular workshop was for coaches, trainers and training developers, sales managers, etc–so pretty much communicators themselves. While it seemed to me I was to be speaking on the topic of the workshop–communicating credibility, which I did, I hadn’t thought I’d be expected to “walk the walk” of the trainer to demonstrate my own credibility by using icebreakers, activities and discussion. Apparently, my slide show didn’t reflect the latest trend in slide preparation and my talk, although engaging, was not what was expected…from me anyway.

While all the other speakers and presenters who were speaking on similar topics at the conference took the standard route of interactive speech and presentation as I did, I was expected to use all the training tools in my arsenal instead of just talk. Had I known the expectation ahead of time, that I would be viewed as the speaker/trainer extraordinaire by the audience, I could have given the audience more of what it expected. Granted, it was my fault, but now I will remind myself and others that, when it comes to training and planning training, there is always something we can’t know unless we ask.

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For more resources about training, see the Training library.

The quick answer is easy. No one can ensure your success. Success as a speaker, trainer, or facilitator depends on other factors than refining your talent as a communicator. A business acumen is essential, marketing, some psychology so you know your audience, but most importantly a product yourself, a plan and the will to see it through.

I am speaking as a speech coach. I will not take money from students unless we have had an in depth discussion of what may be the best path for them under their current circumstances. It may be since I left home at an early age and worried about my own survival that I worry about my students. I’m sure I could make more money by being less ethical and such a nice guy, but if there ever is an area where you can lose your money and your dream, this is it.

Coaches can help your confidence, help you get rid of bad mannerisms that distract, help you direct your message, and literally fine tune your performance–if that truly is their goal. Still, they cannot guarantee your success.

However, you can spend a lot more money on a great coach and go nowhere. Have a solid reason to pursue the career. When you are certain you have the talent (or do you need the coach to tell you?), then invest if you so desire and can afford to. Asking the coach if you have the talent to succeed may just open the door for “Sure, with my help.” Be very specific on what you need.

Be careful, as in any business, those selling the how-to are often doing better with the selling than the work and stop doing the work altogether. It’s not unusual for those who offer these programs or coaches to often make a lot more money on selling the programs or coaching than the speaking itself. The fact that it’s just human nature to want that success makes a bit more palatable to us.

The drive to success can be an opiate. You and your potential coach can be easily addicted. You, for your speaking dream; he or she for a more financial one.

There are many paths toward a chosen profession. Not all involves training by “successful” others. It’s a little like the rich guy who tells who the secrets of making money and neglects to tell you he wasn’t worried because Mom and Dad had plenty should he fail at “this” endeavor. Some of us don’t have the support systems so counting on someone to train us right into success is naive. To those who had the resources, I hope you take advantage of them; not all of us are so lucky. You should invest in what saves you time, in what helps you concentrate on the areas you need to concentrate.

There is no guaranteed path or quicker access to success even for the enormously talented. Just look at actors. There are great ones who never see Broadway or the Silver Screen, and others, in the right place, right time with the right connections, that have stardom.

As you peruse the slick marketing packages, the successful look of the sellers themselves that represent what you might become, remember the person who came before them and did all with hard work without others. I’m not saying never pay someone for a service, just to remember that it is just that: a service. Get your money’s worth, stick to your plan and you’ll accomplish your dream.

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For more resources about training, see the Training library.

It may be a bit old fashioned that the view that face-to-face training is more effective than any other kind of training such as E- Training and Computer-Based Learning—with the right trainer or training team, that is.

Why not use all the tools we have? Let students pace themselves and repeat what’s necessary to facilitate learning. This kind of training makes sense, at least financially and it fills the training need. Or, does it? Does it really do the job in the long run? Do students come away motivated and filled with new, usable information? They certainly filled the square.

We’ve all seen training departments reduced in size, their missions diminished, and budgets slashed—especially when it comes to personal training. It’s so much easier to rely on the electronic tools of the Internet, webinars when live seminars won’t do, and videoconferencing calls. We can do training, demonstrations, sales pitches, brainstorming, facilitation via Windows Live, AOL Messenger, or Skype or any of a multitude of similar software communication applications. Really. We can see and hear others; we can even view presentations and videos. But it’s not really the same as face-to-face training, is it? Or, like hands-on training via demonstration? Those activities all take a guiding hand.

I’m sure you have taken online courses or training to fulfill this or that requirement. Did you really care about learning the material or did you just go through the motions to get the certification? That’s the major difference.

A person in front of you can help you care about what it is you are learning and have an impact on how you remember it. It must be important; or why are you having a person actually present the information and try to motivate me to remember it? You can ask questions—even dumb ones and get the personal touch. You also send the message: I care about you, the employee. When the employee gets that message, loyalty goes up along with productivity. Who can deny we will work hardest for someone who cares about us?

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For more resources about training, see the Training library.