Direct Mail: Getting To Know “YOU”

A fundraising letter

Every time I sit down to write a fundraising letter, or one of these posts, I suffer a period of anxiety. I’m worried that readers will reject my writing. Reject me.

At first my writing is flat, a collection of information and phrases with no life or meaning.

But after a little while I get over myself and start thinking about my reader: You!!

Of course, I don’t know you yet, but I can imagine you because I know so many people working for nonprofits and facing the challenges of fundraising.

Chances are that you are generous, intelligent, curious and conscientious. Also, probably, pressed for time, short of resources and at least a little less knowledgeable than me about direct mail. (If you know more about it than me, then I want to read your posts!)

Now I’m feeling better. We care about some of the same things and we’re here together so I can help you. You’ve made a little bit of time to hear me out, but I need to get to the point.

And the point is “You.” It’s the most powerful word in the English language, the word that names us, the subject of most of our waking thoughts.

You’ve heard the advice that inserting the word “you” into copy makes it more engaging to readers. This actually works, but the practice may strike you as a rather mechanical, even a Pavlovian trick.

But, the interesting thing is this: it’s a trick we play on ourselves as writers as much as on our readers. We can’t address our words to a person called “you,” without imagining that person.

If I’m writing for an environmental organization, I’m likely to imagine “you” as a healthy, active older married woman with an advanced education and broad interests in addition to a passion for sailing.

Now that I’m holding an imaginary conversation with an imaginary reader, my writing starts to read like speech, the words I would use to inform and persuade someone at my kitchen table.

You don’t know me, I think, but I know something you’ll be interested (perhaps shocked) to hear. I see my reader looking at me skeptically over her glasses.

But she’s listening, so I keep talking, building my story and showing how her informed monetary support can make a big difference in the outcome of my story. She’s nodding. Now I’m feeling persuaded and passionate myself.

It can take many more hours to complete final revisions, but that’s the beauty of imaginary conversations – unlimited do-overs. Meanwhile, I’m on my way to a complete first draft.

Thanks to “You.”

Next Week Tony Poderis discusses … Who Should be an Organization’s Rund Raisers.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Jon is Vice President of Cause & Effect, Inc.
He has helped nonprofits develop successful direct response strategies and
effective donor communications
for more than 25 years.
Contact Jonathan Howard or
visit the Cause & Effect website

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Have you seen
The Fundraising Series of ebooks ??

They’re easy to read, to the point, and inexpensive ($1.99 – $4.99)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

If you’re reading this on-line, and would like to comment/expand on the above piece, or would just like to offer your thoughts on the subject of this posting, we encourage you to “Leave a Reply.” If you’re reading this as an email, and you want to comment on the above piece, email Comments to offer your thoughts. Your comments, with appropriate attribution, could be the basis of a new posting.

Six Goals For A Direct Mail Letter

Here six key objectives I set for every fundraising letter I write. I use these as standards to review and rewrite a draft appeal until I can’t improve it further.

1. Create a personal connection. Always use the first person singular (“I,” “me,” “my”), never the snooty-sounding, disembodied “we.” Talk to me as if we are sharing coffee together. Use the word “you” as often as you can. Finding ways to use the word “you” naturally helps make your writing conversational and friendly.

2. Tell a story. I know you’re saving the world. Now, can you show me one specific person (whose life you’ve changed? Can you name them? Quote them? Introduce that person and a problem. Then tell me what happened. Or better, tell me what can happen if I get involved.

3. Appeal to emotions. We give with hearts first, heads second. That story you’re telling should arouse my pity or pride or fear. Your first-person narrator (the “I” in your letter) can express emotions directly, prompting the reader to reflect your own feelings of anger, sadness or hope.

4. But still make sense. You always need to make a logical connection between my gift and important results. Who else will your organization help with that extra dollar? How will you make a bigger difference in their life?

5. Show donors the benefits. Your organization’s direct outcomes, such as meals served, acres saved or patients treated are great – but they are not benefits to the donor. Tell me what I can expect to get out of my donation. Benefits may be direct and tangible, (free admissions and publications), indirect, (a safer, more prosperous community) or emotional, (the warm feeling of helping a child).

6. Give readers one thing to do. And make it easy. If this is fundraising letter, then ask for money early, and again at the end – don’t ask for volunteers, phone callers, etc. Suggest a specific amount for my gift, but provide opportunities for larger gifts with an “ask string” of gift amounts above the target amount and an “other amount” option for those who can’t send your target gift.

Remember that you get only a small slice of a reader’s attention when they first look at your letter. Pursuing these goals from your very first word will earn more time with your reader, engage their interest and convert interest into donation action.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Next Week’s posting is a piece by John Elbare
on the “value” of getting your constituents to donate
stock and mutual fund shares.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Jon is Vice President of Cause & Effect, Inc.
He has helped nonprofits develop successful direct response strategies and
effective donor communications
for more than 25 years.
Contact Jonathan Howard or
visit the Cause & Effect website

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Have you seen
The Fundraising Series of ebooks ??

They’re easy to read, to the point, and inexpensive ($1.99 – $4.99)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

If you would like to comment/expand on the above piece, or would just like to offer your thoughts on the subject of this posting, we encourage you to “Leave a Reply” at the bottom of this page.