Smiles are so contagious. They are a glorious gift you can give for free.
Smiles cost nothing and have great value.
Pass a smile along today for no good reason.
In case you can’t think of anything to smile about, here’s a cute video of two sisters singing and laughing. They so freely share their laughter and joy. http://youtu.be/9W6Uh8jUahk
These girls are a good reminder to connect with your inner joy and smile today. I dare you not to smile when you see this 😉
Make someone’s day special
Pass this along to a colleague who can use a smile or little laugh.
The first Noble Truth in Buddhism is that life is suffering. There are various off-shoots of this Noble Truth. One I particularly like is: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional”.
How many of you feel pain, anxiety, stress, discomfort in some way at work?
How can you move through those feelings to reach greater compassion? To be of Service to others in need?
Consider this Buddhist story when you feel discouraged or beaten down by your work or stresses.
Suffering and Compassion
A woman whose son had died could not get over the pain and grief she felt. Days turned into weeks turned into months and still she suffered. Her grieving did not cease. Many in her village noticed her pain and suggested she seek council from a Buddhist monk known for his wise teachings.
At the arranged time the woman met the monk and shared her sorrow and her pain. The monk listened patiently. Finally the woman finished and asked, “What can I do to relieve my grief?”
The Buddhist monk smiled kindly and said, “There is a simple remedy for you. Go and find someone who has not experienced such pain and ask them for a small mustard seed. When you have gotten this mustard seed, bring it back to me.”
The woman felt some hope as she heard this news and she hurried off to put an end to her grief.
Find Someone Who Has Not Suffered
The woman went from door to door first in her village and then neighboring villages asking to speak to someone who has not suffered. She heard many stories of people who had lost a loved one, or who was dealing with a dire illness.
Not finding a home nearby, she went further, scouring the villages throughout the kingdom. Weeks turned into months as she walked across the land, knocking on door after door in search of a home where she could obtain the mustard seed.
Finally, after not finding such a home, she returned empty-handed to see the monk.
The monk asked her to retell the stories she heard in her travels. As she shared the stories, she wept for all the families who were touched by grief.
Then the monk asked her to talk about her own grief, of her loss. She looked up and said, “My grief is the same as theirs”. To which the monk replied, “So you see the first Noble Truth is that Life is Suffering. We can not escape it, we can only move through it. Tell me, do you have more compassion for those who weep, for those in pain?”
The woman thought of the many families she met and she felt her heart open to their pain. She nodded slowly and said, “Yes, I see how we all suffer. Is there any way I can help those who are in need?”
The monk smiled and replied, “Now you understand the point of the suffering.”
I read an article recently where the author said that Success belonged to the secular world and Faith belonged to the spiritual world. –What?? — Really?!?!
What do you think?
· Is Success only allowed, important, relevant in the secular world?
· Is Faith only allowed, important, relevant in the spiritual world (matters of spirit)?
It should be no surprise to you that I think success and faith co-exist in the same world- indeed I’d argue if they didn’t, our secular (material) world would be far worse off.
And I believe I’m in good company. I have this quote by Gandhi in my office – “If I should find God in a Himalayan cave, I would proceed there immediately. But I cannot find God apart from Humanity”.
Successful Spirituality
I think of success as accomplishing what you set out to do. So with that broad definition, evangelists are successful when they win over a new convert. Preachers are successful when they get people to focus on, remember, or surrender to God (Allah, Jehovah). Buddhist monks are successful when they help initiates become more mindful and compassionate. Shamans are successful when they heal an illness or complete a soul retrieval and integration. Jains are successful when they prevent the loss of a single bug. And so on…
Faithful Daily Life
On the flip side, in order to be successful in the secular world – business, family, relationships – one needs faith in something. Perhaps it’s faith in medicine, loved ones to do the right thing, people to be honest and kind. If you don’t have faith that your life will be good now or in the future, you’ll give up in despair. If you don’t have faith that you can have caring, supportive relationships, you’ll withdraw from others. Here, I’m defining faith as positive expectation, belief in a Higher Power or Benevolent Universe.
What’s Faith Got to Do With It?
I remember in graduate school my minister asked me a pivotal question that has served me over the years. I was going through a challenging relationship at the time. She asked – “What does your faith have to do with this?” Clearly she knew that faith played a role in our daily life, whether we are aware of it or not.
So, no I don’t think Success and Faith are two different worlds- separate but equal. They are inextricably linked together. We need both to move through our day, week, life. They both are relevant and important to be better people, more loving and kind, more compassionate and forgiving – for our work, our family, our community.
Faith helps us move forward towards our goals. Success helps us gauge how Faith is operating in our life.
How do you see Success and Faith connected in your life? Do you think of them as separate?
Please share your comments below. Let’s start a discussion on this.
I recently led a drumming circle that was very rejuvenating. We enjoyed listening to and feeling the pulses, rhythms, and vibrations of the drums. Our drumming was in synch with each other and I could feel the power and pulse of the group beat. It was almost hypnotic at times.
Then as one person changed the rhythms, the beat shifted and the vibration was out of balance until we all adjusted to the new rhythm. We listened to each other’s beats and had to respond accordingly to re-connect the rhythms. I was aware of the times of concordance and times of discordance.
Teamwork as a Drum Circle
I got to thinking how that is true for teams as well. Sometimes you move to the same beat and feel in synch with what others are doing. Sometimes you move at different paces and there is discord. If the team has worked together for a while, they usually know the rhythm of the office. If the team works together well, they know when and how to get back into balance if one or several of the members are out of balance. Some teams never quite gel and they stay in discord most of the time.
I think drumming and rhythms are a good metaphor for what happens with teams. A formal or informal leader sets the rhythm for the team. Others respond to that beat. Sometimes that rhythm changes due to different players changing the beat or other ‘instruments’ affecting the beat. It takes awareness for team members to listen to one another, to find the rhythm that comes from the collective effort, and adjust accordingly.
Gauge your Team Harmony
Leaders and managers would do well to stop, listen, and pay attention to the rhythm of the beat at their offices. You can learn about the rhythm of your team by paying attention to these items:
How are the vibrations and pulses of your team members matching up?
What brings about times of harmony and balance?
What creates times of discord or imbalance?
What kind of tune-up does your group need to get in synch with each other?
Who’s listening to the beat and who’s off playing their own rhythm?
I got to thinking that doing a drum circle at work would be a good team exercise. It would be a way to demonstrate how people play together, listen to each other, or not. Who leads, who’s willing to change the beat, who responds to the new rhythm. It would be a different type of team building exercise, one that could glean some interesting insights for your group.
Trust is built over time through caring, reliability, and genuine support. It’s torn down far quicker than it is built. Teams don’t succeed and organizational change efforts won’t succeed without trust. Yet how intentional are teams and most work environments in building trust?
Lencioni’s popular book, Five Dysfunctions of a Team, has the foundation block as Trust, yet his ideas for building it seem shallow and insufficient. He makes the assumption that people feel emotionally safe with one another at work. I think that assumption needs further scrutiny.
Trust requires emotional safety
With the economic downturn, layoffs and budget cuts seem par for the course, only engendering more fear not more security. Even in the best of times, emotional safety and emotional well-being seem far off the radar of teams and companies. Leaving toxic work environments aside, and unfortunately there are too many of them, typical work environments tolerate fear, manipulation, or power plays to get things done.
Emotional violence happens every time someone condemns, scapegoats, or plays the blame and shame game. It’s rampant in our society from our political fights and radio talk shows, to PR spins and white-washing. People don’t accept responsibility for their actions, or refuse to apologize for fear of appearing vulnerable. We are blind to the emotional scars being inflicted every day. And we are blind to how we inflict them on ourselves and others.
Emotional safety is built through intentional acts of kindness, caring, compassion, and mutual respect. Trust builds from there with integrity and honesty- acts done regardless of the short term cost. Conscientious actions, dependability, and support that is offered with no hidden agendas and non- judgment builds trust.
Intentionally Build Emotional Safety
Start building emotional safety within yourself by being gentle with yourself, being honest with yourself, allow yourself to be vulnerable without beating yourself up. Then do that with your colleagues and team members. Support them in taking responsibility and accept that they aren’t perfect and neither are you. Correct errors in ways that show mutual respect and care.
Emotional safety is everyone’s job just as physical safety is. I’d like to see more work places encourage and empahsize the emotional safety of staff as much as they do their physical safety.
Trust is a long term process demonstrated over hundreds of daily actions and words. I believe we need to start speaking of Sacred Trust, lest it be easily undermined by the expedient route.
Linda J. Ferguson, Ph.D. is an author, speaker, coach, and consultant. Her first book, Path for Greatness: Work as Spiritual Service, explains more of her ideas on Sacred Trust. To purchase her book, click here.
Guest Blogger – Jacqueline Ryan Brodnitzki, President , Conscious Success LLC
In my previous blog post we introduced the 4 keys to easily accomplish more and discussed the first two keys in detail.
As a reminder, here are the 4 Keys to accomplishing more:
Become aware of your attention
Notice when your attention is strongest
Determine where you want to place your attention
Fully be with what you are doing
Now let’s focus on Keys #3 and 4.
Key #3 – Determine where you want to place your attention
If you let it happen, your attention can spring between hundreds or thousands of different items during the day. There is so much going on and so many people wanting your attention, that entire days can be eaten up leaving you feeling overwhelmed and not having accomplished your goals.
One of the single most powerful things you can to is to take back control over where you place your attention. Think of your attention as your own resource, something to protect and not spend frivolously.
The first item to do at the start of each work day is to decide where you will place your attention that day. What are the 1-2 critical things you want or need to get done? When will you try to do them? How will you focus your attention on them to get them done?
Then ask this most powerful question:
To what are you NOT going to give your attention today?
Once you’ve done this, you know you will accomplish your goals and have energy left over to attend to things that naturally come up during the day. It’s impossible to eliminate all distractions, but having awareness of how you want to spend your attention enables you to accomplish more and have more energy for the important things.
When you manage your attention, you feel better about your work and not so overwhelmed. Your attention is your energy. When you spend it foolishly, you’re left with low energy and low productivity. When you take care about where you focus your attention, you take control of your life.
Key #4 – Fully be with what you are doing
We’ve all had it happen… that nasty e-mail message ruined the weekend. You read it and there’s nothing you can do to resolve the situation except stew on it for the weekend. Instead of enjoying your time with family and friends, you spend the weekend living the situation brought up by that e-mail message.
A Harvard psychologist, Dr. Daniel Gilbert, studied a quarter of a million people around the world measuring 3 things: what they were doing, what they were thinking about, and how happy they were.
Turns out you are most happy when your attention is on what you are doing–even if it isn’t something you would deem ‘fun’. You are happier driving to work, focused on the drive, than you are on a great vacation thinking about a problem.
Whether your mind is wandering is a better predictor of happiness than what you are doing.
Dr. Gilbert said, “I find it kind of weird now to look down the crowded street and realize that half the people aren’t really there.”
Try not to look at e-mail when there’s nothing you can do about a situation that could arise. Bring you attention back to whatever you’re doing by saying silently to yourself, “thinking” whenever you notice you are thinking about something else. You can also describe your emotion by silently saying what it is. For example, “worrying”, “angry” or “agitated”. A study at UCLA found that when you label your thought or emotion, the strength of the thought or emotion diminishes and you are more easily able to bring your thoughts back to what you are doing.
You will be happier when you are absorbed in what you are doing. That’s why athletic people love to compete or workout. They find such relief in focusing on the athletic endeavor, rather than their thoughts.
Do something that inspires you and helps you quiet your thoughts. Embrace your inner athlete, artist, musician, gardener, yogi, and increase your happiness by focusing completely on that activity.
About the Author Jacqueline Ryan Brodnitzki combines over 15 years of corporate management and training expertise with nine years of teaching and coaching of mindfulness and stress reduction techniques to help customer service organizations increase performance, productivity and profits while reducing employee stress. Her proprietary program, Conscious Success™, helps employers increase the potential within their organization by developing the emotional and social intelligence of their employees.
Through her coaching, she helps clients tap into their true potential. They experience greater calm, while increasing effectiveness at work and at home. Clients appreciate her quick assessment, clear recommendations and accurate, informative and inspirational coaching.
She is the author of two books and two CDs. Learn more about Jacqueline’s programs at www.ConsciousSuccess.net
Hello- I’m out of the country for the next few weeks so will have some guest bloggers covering for me. I met Jacqueline through a LinkedIn group where we shared a similar interest in spirituality and work. She is a former corporate sales manager turned yoga instructor and now offers corporate programs for wellness focusing on the mind-body connection. I asked her to write something for my blog while I was gone.
Enjoy her writing and her work.
I’ll be back in June
********************
4 Keys to Easily Accomplishing More
by Jacqueline Ryan Brodnitzki
President , Conscious Success LLC – Powerful Connections to Business Results
When we think of accomplishing more, we usually focus on adding more to our to do list. This can be overwhelming and unproductive.
Instead, think about how you manage your attention. Do you let it get caught up in every issue? Or, do you selectively focus your attention on tasks and projects that will help you meet your goals? Do you actively reduce distraction?
I heard Tim Ferris, nominated as one of Fast Company’s “Most Innovative Business People of 2007” and Forbes Magazine’s “Names You Need to Know in 2011,” and the author of two books, speak about how to get more done in less time.
He talks about segmenting and managing your attention. He believes when you have both work and non-work interests, and when your attention is segmented between the two, you accomplish more in each area.
In this article we will discuss different ways to manage your attention so you can both accomplish more and increase your enjoyment of life. Working harder and longer does not necessarily make you more productive. Thinking about work issues at the expense of being present in meetings and enjoying your personal time can decrease your effectiveness.
We will discuss some steps to managing your attention so you get the most done, feel less overwhelmed and enjoy both your work and personal time more.
Here are the 4 Keys to accomplishing more:
Become aware of your attention
Notice when your attention is strongest
Determine where you want to place your attention
Fully be with what you are doing
In this blog post, we’ll cover the first two keys.
Key #1 -Become aware of your attention
Begin to notice where your attention goes during the day. Notice when your attention is on something productive and when it isn’t. Take note of those things that seem to steal your attention and are not productive. When you find your attention on an unproductive item, stop and refocus on something that is productive.
Key #2 – Notice when your attention is strongest
What time of day is your attention strongest? For some, it’s early in the morning. For others it is later in the day.
Carve out the hour that your attention is strongest and try to use that time to accomplish important tasks. Meetings and other events certainly get in the way of this, but see whether you can set aside the time when your attention is at its peak a few days a week. If you are an early bird, arrive at the office a little earlier to get your important work done. If you are a night owl, spend a little time at night. If late morning or late afternoon is your best time, try to block that time on your calendar to accomplish at least one important item.
Each time you finish an important item on your list, you feel a sense of accomplishment, relief and more purpose in your work. You feel a little less overwhelmed and your mind is freed up to focus on your meetings and important conversations.
In my next blog post, we’ll discuss the 3rd and 4th keys in more detail.
All my best,
Jacqueline
About the Author
Jacqueline Ryan Brodnitzki combines over 15 years of corporate management and training expertise with nine years of teaching and coaching of mindfulness and stress reduction techniques to help customer service organizations increase performance, productivity and profits while reducing employee stress. Her proprietary program, Conscious Success™, helps employers increase the potential within their organization by developing the emotional and social intelligence of their employees.
Through her coaching, she helps clients tap into their true potential. They experience greater calm, while increasing effectiveness at work and at home. Clients appreciate her quick assessment, clear recommendations and accurate, informative and inspirational coaching.
She is the author of two books and two CDs. Learn more about Jacqueline’s programs at www.ConsciousSuccess.net
Change management is a hot topic in the Leadership and Organization Development world. While many people in organizations are leery of change, either due to change fatigue, or because they think the next change is simply the fad of the month, change can either be good or bad depending on many factors. If you want to upgrade to a new computer or buy a new car, you likely will embrace change.
So depending on how ready you are for change, how much you think the change will help you, and how successful you feel you’ll be making the change, you may welcome or avoid change.
Sometimes we got those cosmic nudges, if not a 2X4 slap across the face, to change. Sometimes what appears on the surface to be bad news, may in the end result in a positive change. Next time you are challenged with a change, stop to ask if or how the change will serve a higher purpose. Will the change shift you to a better place? The 2X4 slap and subsequent change may be a blessing in disguise.
If you intentionally want to change some aspect in your life, you can follow some concrete and systematic steps for change. I’ve developed a process called Transformational Empowerment to support people making change. These ideas came from my work with coaching clients and corporate training. The Transformational Empowerment process uses some basic spiritual principles to support you in making profound and lasting changes.
If you are looking to make a job or life change, and truly want the change to stick, I invite you to use the steps for Personal Mastery outlined in my Transformational Empowerment process. Visit my website (www.lindajferguson.com) to receive a free series of handouts and videos that will help you in your change process. I share stories in a series of emails that show how each of the steps work.
Try out the ideas of my Transformational Empowerment process and you’ll be well on your way to create a significant life shift, to reach your goals, or to fulfill your heart’s desire.
Andreas Dudàs has a recently published book, “Do You Dare to Be Yourself?” He touches on many of the ideas explored in this blog – vision, values, passion, and purpose. See what stirs as you explore your authentic self and leadership. Enjoy some of his writing here.
Embark on a rewarding journey
Authentic leaders who are able to move the others’ hearts are in great demand. Living authentically is the be-all-and-end-all for finding inner peace, gaining more self-confidence and following your true calling, which all in turn helps to make this planet a better place. We all were once fully connected to our souls when we were born. However, while we grow up we lose the connection to our true self. Fear rules our lives, we are worried that we might never amount to anything, that others wouldn’t accept us the way we really are. Coupled with that fear is the constant uncertainty. We often agree to anything and everything, trying to guess and satisfy the unspoken needs of others.
Why do we act this way? The answer is simple. We always receive a reward for such a behavior. For a fleeting moment, we feel needed and acknowledged. We value praise and respect much more than listening to the heart. But remember, nobody else but you alone can award honest love, praise and recognition to your unique self.
Authenticity can neither be acquired nor learned. Authenticity can just be regained, for it has always been lying on our heart. It requires that you love yourself for all the good that you see and accept your flaws and the fact that you are imperfect. Becoming an authentic leader asks for reclaiming your authenticity through embarking on an intense and sometimes long journey, starting first with getting acquainted with your true self and then following an inch-by-inch process.
Develop self-respect and fall in love with yourself:
Self-respect has nothing to do with selfishness, as many people argue. Nowadays, we are all well connected electronically, but very often disconnected from our own hearts and souls. Many individuals do not honor their real values lying inside them. Instead, they are consistently seeking recognition in the outer world and are playing roles so as to receive praise. Living authentically requires spending a lot of time on getting to know one’s strengths and values, but also weaknesses, feelings and what one really wants to get out of life. Know that only by first following your heart and by respecting yourself you‘ll be able to touch other people’s hearts. Be therefore proud of your true self. Celebrate your little successes on a daily basis and jot them down in a separate journal you are always carrying with you. One of the key distinguishing characteristics of authentic leaders is that they are anchored by their own deep sense of self.
Live your passion:
Do the work you love or love the work you do! Anything else leads to depression, burn-out and loss of self-confidence. Ideally you choose a job which is one hundred percent consistent with your authentic calling. You will learn and acquire some leadership skills in the course of your career. However, I am convinced that leadership is not a role you are playing, or a profession you learn. It is a true calling. In this sense, authentic leaders are first “born” with innate leadership qualities and only later “made” through the acquisition of certain skills. By blending your courage of being true to yourself, with choosing leadership as your authentic calling, you develop a “deadly” combination moving people’s hearts.
Find your life purpose:
Purpose is your inner compass, fueling deeper meaning both in your life and work. Purpose is also a fundamental aim of your organizations’ existence. Your purpose is about creating and not fixing things. To find it, ask yourself what would you choose to do if you had unlimited time and resources? What would you do if money did not matter? What activities do you consider of greatest value?
Live by your values:
Living authentically means that you stand by your values and beliefs that you hold most dear. Values provide important guidance when you are looking for a new job, get a promotion or chose a new working environment. Identify your values by asking yourself: When am I happiest? When do I forget time and live completely in the “here and now”? What activities do I enjoy most and why?
Align your “true self” with your company’s soul:
Ask yourself, does the company’s soul that is reflected in the corporate vision, mission and values coincide with your true self? Does your current working and living environment allow you to live up to your unique values and life purpose? This is a crucial acid test and it requires you to be brutally true to yourself so as to authentically answer the above questions. If your personal values and life purpose clash with those of your company, you will never be able to ignite the fire inside your employees.
Many other attributes such as communication, fairness, compassion, having a big vision, or the capability to set clear goals, account also for critical traits of great leaders. But believe me, they are either a natural outcome from living up to all of the above principles or can be easily acquired. Forget about the bewildering array of theories about effective leadership. The only key is to reclaim your true self, live authentically and follow leadership as your true calling. Then the rest of the world will follow you!
Andreas Dudàs has more than 20 years leadership experience gained in top executive positions in over 25 countries. Visionary entrepreneur, mentor, motivational speaker & expert on authentic (life) leadership, he is the author of Do You Dare To Be Yourself? Learn more at http://www.andreasdudas.com/
I recently received an email from my mom saying a dear colleague of hers had a heart attack and was in failing health. I was truly saddened by this news. This woman had become an aunt of sorts; she was a long-time family friend, having worked with my mom for more than 30 years.
It is a blessing and rare gift indeed to have precious colleagues who become old friends. Perhaps you worked with someone years ago and you still stay in touch, sharing news of your life. Maybe you have colleagues you socialize with outside of work. Perhaps you even have a few dear colleagues who are old family friends now.
This week’s blog post is a reminder of all the friendships you have at work. Share your gratitude for those friends, especially for your particularly close colleagues.
Tell them how they have touched and supported your life as well as your work.
Call them up to recount a few stories, share some laughs, let them know how much they helped you.
It’s never too late to let someone know how much you care about them and how much they mean to you.
P.S. We celebrate Administrative Assistants day this week, so please take time to thank them for their support.
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