Author: Pam Solberg-Tapper

Even if you love your work, you can get overwhelmed if it gets out of control. Many of my executive coaching clients set boundaries to help them be more effective in their professional and personal lives. Boundaries are the lines we draw that help define our roles and interactions. Here are some tips for setting boundaries in order to manage overwhelm:

1. Are you your own worst enemy? Reflect on these questions:
• Do you take on things to be liked?
• Are you a perfectionist?
• Is taking on a challenge stimulating?
• Do you not know how to say no?
• Are you competitive?
All of these things can influence you to take on too much. Be clear about what is important to you and then set boundaries to stay in alignment.

2. Know what is expected of you. Be sure to clarify with your manager what the priorities are, timelines and how you will be measured. Is it expected that you work overtime and on weekends – or is this a self imposed expectation?

3. Stop mental job creep. Even if you don’t bring work home physically, you may tend to become preoccupied with work situations during your personal life. Here is a tip – use your travel home time to decompress work issues. Then create mental boundary to not let work walk into the door with you.

4. Don’t say “yes” right away. Make a boundary to give yourself time to decide. Then you can evaluate how something new will or will not fit.

5. Know how to negotiate. If your work culture will not accept “no” for answer, try to counter offer a request. Here are some negotiating ideas to help you keep your boundaries intact:
• defer the start until you finish other priorities
• download parts to others
• delay or dump something that is currently on your plate

How do you manage overwhelm using boundaries?

Pam Solberg-Tapper MHSA, PCC – I spark entrepreneurial business leaders to set strategy, take action, and get results. How can I help you? Contact me at Pam@CoachForSuccess.com ~ Linkedin ~ 218-340-3330.

Many of my executive coaching clients operate in an environment that is fast paced with multiple priorities. The work is demanding and performance expectations are high. This “3 Minute Action Learning Time Out” helps them take a few moments to slow down and focus on what they learned from a situation. As a result, they can apply this learning to assist them in future scenarios.

Here are the “self coaching” action learning questions that I recommend:

1. What just happened?

2. What did I learn from this experience?

3. What would I do the same or differently next time?

4. How can I apply this insight to other situations?

What other “self coaching” questions can help you learn?

Pam Solberg-Tapper MHSA, PCC – I spark entrepreneurial business leaders to set strategy, take action, and get results. How can I help you? Contact me at Pam@CoachForSuccess.com ~ Linkedin ~ 218-340-3330

Many times my executive coaching clients express frustration because others do not meet their expectations. When you set clear agreements at the beginning of a project or new work relationship, you can avoid pitfalls and misunderstandings. Here are some questions to help you set clear agreements in an effective and collaborative “coach approach” manner.

What? – establish the course of action

• What do we want to achieve?
• What is the scope?
• What are the expectations that I have of you and you have of me?
• What does success look like and how will it be measured?
• What is the current status?
• What are the future steps?

Why? – verify the reason

• Why is this important?
• What is the fundamental purpose?
• Who will it affect most if we succeed? If we fail?
• What are the consequences of doing nothing?

When? – agree upon the timeline

• When do we start?
• What is the deadline?
• What are the significant milestones?

Who? – decide responsibilities

• Who will be responsible for what?
• Who will follow up with whom?
• Who else needs to know?

How? – determine the method

• What will our processes be?
• What do we expect in terms of quality and standards of excellence?
• How and when do we communicate?
• How will we address conflict should it arise?
• How will we celebrate success?

Try the What? Why? When? Who? and How? method to set clear agreements and get better results.

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Pam Solberg-Tapper MHSA, PCC – I spark entrepreneurial business leaders to set strategy, take action, and get results. How can I help you? Contact me at Pam@coachforsuccess.com ~ www.coachforsuccess.com ~ Linkedin ~ 218-340-3330

“How can I motivate my team?” This question is quite common with my executive coaching clients. I will often ask – “Have you asked them what motivates them?” Usually the answer is “No”.

Motivators are unique to each person and situation. Motivators can be external or internal or some of each.

External Motivators: (sometimes these are out of your control)

• compensation
• benefits
• work hours
• office equipment
• working conditions
• flexibility in schedule

Internal Motivators:

• meaningful work
• feeling a part of a team
• opportunity for advancement
• creating positive impact
• understanding how their job fits in with the department/company vision
• personal and professional growth
• sense of accomplishment
• knowing that their manager supports them
• autonomy
• getting performance feedback
• new challenges
• opportunity to be creative
• recognition
• having their ideas utilized
• involvement in decisions

Taking the “coach approach” is the key to determining what serves as a motivator. Discussing what motivates individuals’ shows that you care and leads to building trust and engagement.

Here are some coaching tips for determining what motivates others:

1. Ask questions

• What is important to you?
• What types of projects, experiences or training would you like to have?
• What can I do to support you?
• Where do you see your future career?
• Do you have the opportunity to do what you do best everyday?
• What parts of your job give you the most satisfaction? Least satisfaction?
• What new skills would you like to learn?

2. Be clear on what you can and cannot provide or change.

3. Keep the communication ongoing.

What do you do to motivate your team?

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Pam Solberg-Tapper MHSA, PCC – I spark entrepreneurial business leaders to set strategy, take action, and get results. How can I help you? Contact me at Pam@CoachforSuccess.com ~ www.CoachforSuccess.com ~ Linkedin ~ 218-340-3330

In coaching, a challenge is a powerful request that asks the client to extend themselves beyond their self-imposed limits. A challenge can shift the way the client sees and thinks of themselves for years to come.

The elements of a challenge include a specific action and the date/time of completion.

Here are some examples of challenges:

• For a client that is overwhelmed with demands: “I challenge you to say “no” to anything that is not a priority this week.”
• For a client that procrastinates: “I challenge you to finish your project by tomorrow morning.”
• For the client that isn’t satisfied with their physical well being: “Here’s my challenge – sign up for the marathon instead of the 5K right now.”
• For a client that wants to make one cold call a day to increase business: “I challenge you to make fifty calls a day starting today.”

Clients can respond with a yes, no or counter offer. Usually, in the face of a challenge, clients will respond with a counter offer that is greater than they initially would have allowed themselves to make otherwise. Therefore the challenge served its purpose – to get your client out of the box and change their way of thinking.

In what ways do you use challenge?

For more resources, see the Library topic Personal and Professional Coaching.

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Pam Solberg-Tapper MHSA, PCC – I spark entrepreneurial business leaders to set strategy, take action, and get results. How can I help you? Contact me at CoachPam@cpinternet.com ~ Linkedin ~ 218-340-3330

Often my coaching clients are faced with a big decision and want to discuss it in our coaching sessions. The competency of timely, high quality decision making is imperative in today’s competitive work environment.

Here are six tips to make efficient, effective decisions:

1. Let go of perfection – perfectionism will bog you down. Anyone can make a decision with unlimited time. Wanting to be perfect keeps you paralyzed and in limbo.

2. Get the facts – do you have the data you need? Often when you are stuck you do not have the necessary information to decide. Identify what you need and how you can get it quickly.

3. Avoid procrastination. If you tend to wait to the last minute, often your decision quality and accuracy will be poor.

4. Use your intuition. If you are uncertain and need to decide quickly, trust your gut. Intuition is the ability to use knowledge without logic or the use of reason. As much as you can, give your subconscious mind the relevant data it needs, then listen to your inner voice.

5. Take a risk. Avoiding risk can create missed opportunities. In many situations, if you make a decision and it is not quite right, you can tweak it along the way. See how it works out and adjust as you gather more data and information.

6. Talk it out. Discussing your decision with a trusted party helps to clarify and articulate the best course of action. It gets the “muddle” out of your head and crystallizes what steps need to be taken.

For more resources, see the Library topic Personal and Professional Coaching.

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Pam Solberg-Tapper MHSA, PCC – I spark entrepreneurial business leaders to set strategy, take action, and get results. How can I help you? Contact me at CoachPam@cpinternet.com ~ Linkedin ~ 218-340-3330

How skilled are you at communicating messages to others? Effective communication is one of the keys to success. Here are some tips that you will find useful to communicate messages more effectively.

1. Notice your impact when speaking/delivering the message – what is going on with the other person? Watch for their nonverbal cues of disinterest or lack of understanding so you can adjust your delivery.

2. Who do you know that is an effective communicator? Study their approach and learn from them.

3. Seek feedback on your communication abilities from a friend or trusted peer.

4. Use vocal variety, such as volume, pitch and pace to emphasize your major point. It is easier for your listener to understand when your voice varies.

5. Avoid rambling – outline in your mind (or on paper) what you are going to say before you speak. Be succinct and concise.

6. Ask the listener to summarize what you said. Explain that this will help you to know if you communicated clearly.

7. Listen to the other person’s thoughts – reasonable people don’t need to get their way, they just need to be heard.

8. Set a limit on the number of times you voice your position when delivering a message.

9. Watch your nonverbals – are you using appropriate gestures and body language?

10. When disagreeing with someone, summarize what you think their position is before responding with your point of view. Avoid jumping in to respond without making sure you understand their message.

For more resources, see the Library topic Personal and Professional Coaching.

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Pam Solberg-Tapper MHSA, PCC – I spark entrepreneurial business leaders to set strategy, take action, and get results. How can I help you? Contact me at CoachPam@cpinternet.com ~ Linkedin ~ 218-340-3330

One of my coaching clients received feedback that she needed to work on her tone and how she delivered messages. Since these skills are essential leadership skills, she needed new ways to speak more effectively to others. Her first step was to become aware of the specific behaviors that were preventing her from communicating successfully.

Here is a “yes/no” quiz that she found helpful to create self awareness when communicating messages:

1. Are you aware of your impact on others when you deliver messages?

2. Are you aware of the tone of your voice and your nonverbals?

3. Do you frequently interrupt to interject your opinions?

4. Do you go “on and on” to get to your point across?

5. Do you show impatience as you wait for the other person to finish speaking?

6. Do you spend more time talking than listening?

7. Do you restate your opinions/point of view often?

8. Do you check in with others to ensure they understood you accurately?

9. If someone disagrees with you, are you closed minded to their point of view or do you tell them they are wrong?

10. Do you finish other people’s sentences?

Stay tuned for my next Blog “10 Tips to Communicate Messages Effectively”

For more resources, see the Library topic Personal and Professional Coaching.

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Pam Solberg-Tapper MHSA, PCC – I spark entrepreneurial business leaders to set strategy, take action, and get results. How can I help you? Contact me at CoachPam@cpinternet.com ~ Linkedin ~ 218-340-3330

Interpersonal communication is a common and important topic in Executive Coaching. Because direct and open communication fosters trust, enhances information flow and builds stronger relationships, it is imperative that we keep communication a priority.

Here are 8 coaching tips to enhance interpersonal communication:

1. Vague messages – when you receive vague messages, define the issues in concrete terms so all parties are clear about what is being said.

2. Be timely and clear – let people know in a timely way about information that effects them. If you are unable to address their request, let them know this and when you can get to it. If you need information from them, let them know the timeframe.

3. Difficult conversations – address as soon as possible. Avoid letting what needs to be said fester, as it tends to get worse.

4. A rule of thumb – when a conflict arises, address it in person. If unable to meet in person, then talk via phone.

5. Conflicting messages – if mixed messages come up in a conversation, articulate the discrepancy, ask questions and summarize to come to a common understanding.

6. Re-cap – at the end of a conversation, restate the main points, who will do what and the timeline.

7. Disagree agreeably – consider other people’s input. Reasonable people don’t need to get their way; they just need to be heard.

8. Daily check-up – at the end of the day, ask yourself what occurred that should be reported to other people.

For more resources, see the Library topic Personal and Professional Coaching.

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Pam Solberg-Tapper MHSA, PCC – I spark entrepreneurial business leaders to set strategy, take action, and get results. How can I help you? Contact me at CoachPam@cpinternet.com ~ Linkedin ~ 218-340-3330

Self limiting beliefs are a group of thought processes and feelings that hold us back and cause us to maintain the status quo. They are normal – the key is to be aware of them so you can be at choice.

Here are some terms related to Self Limiting Beliefs:

• Negative self talk
• Inner critic
• Noise
• Distraction
• Comfort zone
• Lack of confidence

How to determine when Self Limiting Beliefs are present:

• There is a lot of struggle – “this will be hard”
• You are stuck
• The same issue presents itself over and over
• You use words such as “I can’t”, “I need to”, or “I have to” vs. “I can” ,“I will”, or I want to”
• There is a fear of failure or “What will people think?”

Here are some ways to deal with Self Limiting Beliefs:

• Identify it – realize that a self limiting belief is present. Then choose to move past it
• Antidote using a prior positive experience – such as “I ran a marathon – I can certainly do this”
• Challenge yourself – “I am bigger than this barrier”; “I have it within me to move beyond this doubt”
• Future pull – “My vision is really important to me – when I focus on it, I will find a way”
• Different perspective – Look at the situation through the eyes of success. “Act as if” what you intend to do is already a reality.

For more resources, see the Library topic Personal and Professional Coaching.

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Pam Solberg-Tapper MHSA, PCC – I spark entrepreneurial business leaders to set strategy, take action, and get results. How can I help you? Contact me at CoachPam@cpinternet.com ~ Linkedin ~ 218-340-3330