You’ve Got an Attitude (Improving Your Attitude)

Group of cheerful businesspeople discussing

You’ve Got an Attitude (Improving Your Attitude)

A person’s attitude represents how they feel or their state
of mind about something. For example, one can have a good (or
positive) attitude toward their work, usually meaning that they
feel good about their work, their job, their organization, etc.
Many features of working in an organization can cause a person
to have a poor attitude about their jobs and organizations (that
is, they feel bad about their jobs and organizations), eg, inadequate
compensation, conflicts with their supervisor, inconsistent or
conflicting communications from senior management, unfulfilling
work, hostile communications between employees, etc. Some people
adopt a poor attitude because that is their way “of being
in the world,” ie, they often resent their environment no
matter what is going on around them. Some people feel poorly about
themselves, which affects their attitude about their environment,
as well. In contrast, some people work hard to keep a positive
attitude. These people often have better overall health and can
effectively address major challenges in the workplace, as well.

Various Perspectives on Attitude

Methods
for Changing Our Thoughts, Attitudes, Self-Concept …

Boring Work? Or Your Missed Opportunity?
30
Best Inspiring Anecdotes of All Times

Positive Attitude
Got Attitude?
Attitude
(a little academic …)

How to Overcome Negativity in the Workplace
Choosing Our Reality
Control Your Own Destiny
Creating High Energy Environments
A
Call to Action

Apathy and Cynicism Zap Our Spirit
Avoiding Pity City and the Victimitis Virus
Are Poor Attitudes Justified?
Acceptance
vs. Apathy

How to Survive in an Unhappy Workplace
How to Handle the Pessimist on Your Team
HR Giving Thanks
Don’t Forget to Give Thanks for the Hard Stuff Too
Personal Accountability has No Victims
The Power of Choice

Also consider
Assertiveness
Authenticity
Awareness
Bullying
(Addressing)

Burnout
Cynicism
Emotional
Intelligence

Job
Satisfaction

Motivating
and Inspiring Yourself

Personal
Development

Personal
Productivity

Physical
Fitness

Self-Confidence
Stress
Management

Work-Life
Balance

Workaholism

Learn More in the Library’s Blogs Related to Attitude

In addition to the articles on this current page, also see the following blogs
that have posts related to Attitude. Scan down the blog’s page to see various
posts. Also see the section “Recent Blog Posts” in the sidebar of
the blog or click on “next” near the bottom of a post in the blog.
The blog also links to numerous free related resources.

Library’s
Coaching Blog

Library’s
Human Resources Blog

Library’s
Spirituality Blog


For the Category of Personal Wellness:

To round out your knowledge of this Library topic, you may want to review some related topics, available from the link below. Each of the related topics includes free, online resources.

Also, scan the Recommended Books listed below. They have been selected for their relevance and highly practical nature.

Related Library Topics

Recommended Books


How to Be Vulnerable: Guidelines and Resources

A focus, purposeful young female in an office

How to Be Vulnerable: Guidelines and Resources

Copyright Carter McNamara, Authenticity Consulting, LLC

Sections of this Topic Include


What is Vulnerability?

Definitions

We all have a sense of what vulnerability is, but not all of us have the same impression. For example, many people especially confuse vulnerability with weakness. We’ll clear up that confusion later on in this topic. First, let’s get a common impression of what vulnerability is. Wikipedia states that vulnerability is:

“.. to have one’s guard down, open to censure or criticism; assailable. Vulnerability refers to a person’s state of being liable to succumb, as to persuasion or temptation.”

Brene Brown, a well-known researcher, author and speaker about the importance of being vulnerable defines vulnerability as:

“uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure”.

Four Types of Vulnerability

Brene Brown explains there are four types of vulnerability, including:

  1. Vulnerability: The willingness to speak up — to be seen — despite what might happen.
  2. Trust: The courage to trust others and to earn their trust in you.
  3. Rising skills: The resilience to keep trying, even after you have failed.
  4. Clarity of values: Translating your values into the behaviors that you will live by, despite the challenges in doing so.

Why Is It So Important to Be Vulnerable?

In our culture, a strong leader is often seen as someone who is always self-confident and assertive, who always knows the answer. For some, it means “my way or the highway”. Also in our culture, the best employees are often seen as those who never make mistakes — or at least, they never admit when they do. In our digital world, we’re used to thinking of vulnerability as a weak point in the software where others can intrude and cause us harm.

So the concept of being vulnerable in life and work seems contradictory to what most of us have been taught about what a strong leader really is. Yet, literature about the importance of being vulnerable is increasing — and for good reason.

  • Vulnerability shows your humanity. People are intimidated to be working for others who seem “perfect” or whom apparently are so fragile that they cannot admit when they are wrong.
  • Courage and vulnerability go hand in hand. It takes courage to admit when you are wrong, to be vulnerable enough to admit that wrong to others, especially to those who work for you.
  • Being vulnerable encourages that in others, too. If you want your employees to speak up — to be bold — when they have a suggestion, then you should model that vulnerability yourself.
  • Vulnerability encourages truthfulness in the workplace. The more truthful that you are, the more that others are willing discuss their truths of the workplace. Knowing those realities is critical to the success of any organization.
  • Vulnerability cultivates creativity and innovation. Both of those are the result of making mistakes. It takes courage and vulnerability to admit those mistakes.
  • It takes the pressure off from being perfect. No one is perfect. Everyone knows that. Everyone knows it’s a farce to be pretending that we are.
  • It helps you to feel courageous, honest and authentic. That feeling is a foundation for your continued personal growth in other areas, as well.
  • It helps you become more aware of yourself. Without hiding the truths about yourself to yourself, you are more open to seeing who you truly are.
  • It can help to retain employees. One of the biggest reasons that people quit their jobs is because of poor relations with their supervisors. Good relations can start with being human – being vulnerable.
  • It builds trust. Others see you as being authentic — one of the foundations for building trust.
  • It can give you more energy. Hiding your flaws and untruths can be exhausting.
  • It helps you to be more flexible and adaptable. Hiding from truths and ourselves keeps us rigid and inflexible. Being human helps us to bend with the wind, rather than breaking from it.
  • It shows accountability when we admit our mistakes. That can be contagious to others — to be accountable for themselves as well.
  • It helps to solve your own problems. Often, when we read advice columns in the newspaper, the advice is simply to respectfully state what you see or feel — to be vulnerable.
  • It cultivate forgiveness. Research shows people are more willing to forgive others when they sense authenticity and repentance in them.

Does Being Vulnerable Mean Being Weak?

Being vulnerable will be the same as being weak to you if you truly believe that people should be perfect — if you truly believe that others will only accept you if you are perfect, as well.

That illusion of perfection might temporarily impress others. It might gain you a relationship built on the illusion of perfection. It might gain you a promotion in a culture where one mistake can ruin your career.

Actually, being vulnerable is being strong and courageous. It’s admitting who you are. It is weak to not have the courage to admit what you are seeing, hearing or feeling.

Guidelines for Being More Vulnerable in Life and Work

Do

  • Be vulnerable when there are occasions to do so. See the examples below.
  • Start by being more vulnerable when there are occasions to do so with people whom you trust.
  • Strive for a growth mindset, rather than a fixed mindset. A growth mindset sees mistakes as opportunities. A fixed mindset sees mistakes as a flaw in your character and capabilities.
  • See the video The Power of Vulnerability.

Don’t

  • Don’t overdo it. Don’t keep mentioning that you’re practicing vulnerability. That makes it seem like you’re doing it as a matter of duty.
  • Don’t stage it. Don’t ask others to show examples of being vulnerable. That, too, makes vulnerability a duty, rather than a natural act.
  • Don’t share endless details about a mistake that you made. That seems like you’re working hard to show you’re vulnerable, rather than merely being vulnerable.
  • Don’t share information primarily to get a reaction from others. That’s being a performer, not a vulnerable person.
  • Don’t tell all your secrets. Vulnerability should be a healthy way for you to be, not a way for you to get reactions from others.

Additional Perspectives and Guidelines

Examples Where You Could Show Vulnerability

Obviously, you should use your own judgment and sensitivity about when to be vulnerable. For example, you might not be vulnerable with others who are extremely upset or angry. You might not be if the situation is very likely to bring harm to yourself or someone else.

Notice that the following examples also imply the courage and the authenticity that it takes to be vulnerable.

  • If you are wrong about something, then say so.
  • If you are struggling with something, then admit it.
  • If you are feeling overwhelmed, then admit it.
  • If you made a mistake, then admit it.
  • If you have an idea that might not work, then share it.
  • If you see someone doing something that might be unethical, then say so.
  • If you see someone doing something that clearly is unethical, then assert that.

What If Being Vulnerable Backfires?

Vulnerability is a mainstream topic in literature, especially about leadership in the workplace. Like any other popular topic, it can be overdone. It can cause an increasing number of skeptics and cynics to grow tired of even hearing the word.

Vulnerability can backfire if it is not a natural act associated with a genuine occasion for being vulnerable — if it appears to be an act done merely as practice or duty.

Authenticity is the key ingredient for showing true vulnerability. It can backfire if vulnerability is all you talk about, or something that you continually brag about. Others can quickly sense that you are not being authentic.

There will be those who, when you are being truly vulnerable, will conclude that you are being weak. Or, they will conclude that you are merely practicing the latest fad. Then it helps to ask yourself: How much are those people truly a benefit to my life and work? They should not be a hindrance to your being whom you truly are.

Also consider


Learn More in the Library’s Blogs Related to Confidence and Self-Confidence

In addition to the articles on this current page, see the following blogs which have posts related to Confident and Self-Confidence. Scan down the blog’s page to see various posts. Also see the section “Recent Blog Posts” in the sidebar of the blog or click on “next” near the bottom of a post in the blog.


For the Category of Personal Wellness:

To round out your knowledge of this Library topic, you may want to review some related topics, available from the link below. Each of the related topics includes free, online resources.

Also, scan the Recommended Books listed below. They have been selected for their relevance and highly practical nature.


Giving Yourself the Gift of Forgiveness

Forgiveness text on a white background

Giving Yourself the Gift of Forgiveness

Copyright Carter
McNamara, Authenticity Consulting, LLC

Sections in This Topic Include

What is Forgiveness?

Benefits and Examples of Forgiveness

Test – How Well Do You Forgive?

How to Practice Forgiveness in Your Life

Also consider
Related Library Topics


What is Forgiveness?

“Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate
decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group
who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.”
Fred Luskin in this article:
What
is Forgiveness?
The Nature
of Forgiveness
Forgiveness:
Letting Go of Grudges and Bitterness
Which
Feels Better, Forgiveness or Revenge?
Forgiveness (Wikipedia)
To
Forgive Doesn’t Automatically Mean To Reconcile
Forgiveness:
It’s Not What You Think
Questions About
Forgiveness: Does It Mean We Have to Stay Friends?
Forgiveness
Is Not a Feeling

Benefits and Examples of Forgiveness

The benefits of forgiveness are many as the following articles explain.

Stories Have the Power to
Transform
5
Astonishing Real Examples of Forgiveness
10
Extraordinary Examples Of Forgiveness
25
Unbelievable And Inspiring Acts Of Forgiveness

Test – How Well Do You Forgive?

Take this quiz and see how well you forgive.
Forgiveness
Quiz

The following topic includes articles about how to forgive.

How to Practice Forgiveness in Your
Life

One of the best strategies for forgiveness is to focus on your own self-development
that will decrease your focus on the other person or group that you believe
had offended or hurt you. Instead, you will focus on what you can control —
yourself. See:

Appreciating
— to see the value in others, including that they sometimes make mistakes.

Emotional
Intelligence
— to sense when you are feeling resentment or obsessing about
what happened to you.

Improving Yourself — this
is a link to many resources about developing yourself.

Mindfulness
— to learn to stay in the present, rather than ruminating about what happened
to you.

Self-Confidence
— to have the courage to approach the other person or group, explain what you
believe they did to you, say you forgive them and why.

Vulnerability
— approaching the other(s) can expose you to how they will react — you will
feel vulnerable.

Also consider:

How
Do You Forgive Even When It Feels Impossible? (Part 1)
5 Strategies
for Discovering How to Forgive
How
to Forgive When It’s Difficult
Why
You Don’t “Need” or “Have To” Forgive Anyone If
You Don’t Want or Feel Ready To
How to Learn to Trust Again

Also consider
Self-Assessments
(numerous self-assessments)

Goals
– Setting Personal Goals

Changing
Your Behavior

Basic
Requirements of Learners in Training and Development

Learning
Style Inventory

Personal
Productivity

Personal Wellness
Reading
Skills

General Resources

Research
in Critical Thinking
Critical
Thinking: Basic Questions & Answers
Measure
What Matters: Critical Thinking


Learn More in the Library’s Blogs Related to Personal Development

In addition to the articles on this current page, also see the following blogs
that have posts related to Personal Development. Scan down the blog’s page to
see various posts. Also see the section “Recent Blog Posts” in the
sidebar of the blog or click on “next” near the bottom of a post in
the blog. The blog also links to numerous free related resources.

Library’s
Career Management Blog
Sp rituality in
the Workplace


For the Category of Personal Development:

To round out your knowledge of this Library topic, you may
want to review some related topics, available from the link below.
Each of the related topics includes free, online resources.

Also, scan the Recommended Books listed below. They have been
selected for their relevance and highly practical nature.

Related Library Topics

Recommended Books


Emotional Intelligence

Young lady thinking-standing-focused on a thoughtful-pose

Emotional Intelligence

Sections of This Topic Include

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Test – What is Your Own Emotional Intelligence Level Now?

Various Perspectives on Emotional Intelligence

Also consider
Personal
Development

Personal
Productivity

Related Library Topics


Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize the emotions of yourself
and others around you, manage for potential affects of your emotions on others,
and consider all of the emotions in relations and in decision making and problem
solving. Emotional intelligence is a critical ingredient in self-leadership
and in leadership of others and it requires one to be self-aware and have strong
empathy for others.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

© Copyright Carter McNamara,
MBA, PhD, Authenticity Consulting, LLC

  1. There are different definitions for emotional intelligence (EI), but it
    is probably fair to generalize that it is the ability to recognize our emotions
    and then manage our responses to those emotions in a manner that enhances
    our health and relationships with others. There are some basic guidelines
    that might be useful in enhancing your own EI. Consider the following basic
    guidelines:
  2. Notice how you are feeling and be able to name the emotion, for example,
    mad, glad, sad or bad. Be careful not to get confused between your thoughts
    and feelings. Notice the difference between and then use “I feel …”
    and “I think …” statements.
  3. Notice how you judge those emotions, for example, you might believe that
    “it is scary and bad to feel angry.”
  4. Notice what situations typically evoke those emotions in you.
  5. Notice the difference between your emotions and your outward responses
    to those emotions – what others would see you do and say. Ask yourself
    how you choose to feel about something and whether your behavior is aligned
    with that choice.
  6. Realize that it is OK to have strong emotional reactions. It is what you
    do with those emotions that can be a problem for you and others.
  7. Notice how long you retain those emotions. What changes them?
  8. Notice what makes you happy and plan for those situations on a regular
    basis.
  9. Notice how you make conclusions about other peoples’ feelings. What
    are they doing or saying?

Test – What is Your Own Emotional Intelligence
Level?

Take this online test to get an impression of how well-developed your emotional
intelligence is now.

Emotional
Intelligence Test

So what do you want to improve? Consider the many guidelines in the following
articles.

Various Perspectives on Emotional Intelligence

Life Lessons: Emails and Emotional Intelligence
The Value of Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence
(EQ)

50 tips for improving your emotional intelligence

Six Seconds:Emotional
Intelligence Network

Report
on the Emotional Intelligence and the Internet

Deepening Our Discipline
Caring
Enough to Confront

Celebrate
What’s Right

The
Egoectomy Procedure

The
Seven Universal Emotions

Emotional Intelligence: Do You Have It? Part 1
Emotional Intelligence: Do You Have It? Part 2

Also consider
Assertiveness
Attitude
Authenticity
Awareness
Bullying
(Addressing)

Burnout
Cynicism
Financial
Fitness

Job
Satisfaction

Motivating
and Inspiring Yourself

Physical
Fitness

Self-Confidence
Stress
Management

Work-Life
Balance

Workaholism


Learn More in the Library’s Blogs Related to Emotional Intelligence

In addition to the articles on this current page, also see the following blogs
that have posts related to Emotional Intelligence. Scan down the blog’s page
to see various posts. Also see the section “Recent Blog Posts” in
the sidebar of the blog or click on “next” near the bottom of a post
in the blog. The blog also links to numerous free related resources.

Library’s
Coaching Blog

Library’s
Human Resources Blog

Library’s
Spirituality Blog


For the Category of Personal Wellness:

To round out your knowledge of this Library topic, you may want to review some related topics, available from the link below. Each of the related topics includes free, online resources.

Also, scan the Recommended Books listed below. They have been selected for their relevance and highly practical nature.

Related Library Topics

Recommended Books


How to Avoid Burnout

Overworked Employee lying in front of Laptop

How to Avoid Burnout

Sections of This Topic Include

Burnout — Can You Recognize the Signs?
Noticed Burnout – Now What?
Additional Perspectives on Avoiding Burnout

Also consider
Personal Development
Personal Productivity
Related Library Topics

Learn More in the Library’s Blogs Related to Burnout

In addition to the articles on this current page, see the following blogs which
have posts related to Burnout. Scan down the blog’s page to see various posts.
Also see the section “Recent Blog Posts” in the sidebar of the blog or click
on “next” near the bottom of a post in the blog.

Library’s
Coaching Blog

Library’s Human Resources
Blog

Library’s Spirituality
Blog


Burnout is spiritual, physical, emotional and/or mental exhaustion, usually
resulting from one or more long-term, unsatisfying efforts. Burnout seems to
be on the rise in organizations, resulting in poor health, poor performance
and conflicts in the workplace (internal conflicts and conflicts with others).

Burnout — Can You Recognize the Signs?

© Copyright Sheri Mazurek

Carrie walks in to your office this morning with an unfamiliar look on her
face that reminds of the look your seven-year-old gives when they break a rule.
The conversation goes something like this:
“Good morning Carrie! What’s going on?”

“Um, I need to talk to you.”

“Sure. What do you want to talk about?”

Carrie slides a sheet of paper in front of you. You immediately notice the
word resignation. It’s there screaming at you. You take a breath.

“You are resigning. I’m surprised. Why did you decide to leave?”

How common is this scenario in your office? How often do you and your manager’s
find themselves shocked by the notice? Are there signs you may have missed?

  • When you manage a team of high performing, high potential employees, missing
    the signs of an unsatisfied employee has a much greater cost to your organization
    than just recruiting. These are signs most managers can’t afford to
    miss. Below is a list of things to notice:
  • Change in performance or productivity. It’s very common to dismiss
    a few performance misses with your top performers because most of the time
    because you want to give them the benefit of the doubt. That may be okay,
    but don’t ignore it. Monitor and address as necessary.
  • Increased absences and tardiness. When the workplace becomes a source of
    stress for an employee, they will find reasons to avoid the environment. Look
    for any change in attendance. Does the employee seek ways to leave the office?
    Do they leave immediately at quitting time opposed to staying late as usual?
  • Changes in demeanor. Have you noticed a change in mood from positive and
    upbeat to quiet, sullen or depressed? Does the employee seem irritated and
    negative? Also, look for any change that is not typical of that person including
    changes in focus. There may be an explanation from an outside source; engage
    in dialogue with them to determine this.
  • Changes in break times. Is the employee taking more time than usual? Be
    careful of the clock watchers especially if this is a new behavior.
  • Change of relationships with co-workers. Employees often form tight connections
    with co-workers. In times of stress those connections can be supportive or
    destructive. What to watch for in this case would be a change in behavior.

Noticed Burnout — Now What?

© Copyright Sheri Mazurek

Engage your employees.

Spend time each day engaging your employees. Whenever possible, spend a few
minutes with them in person. Monitor for changes as described above.

Provide clear communication on expectations and success.

Provide all employees with consistent fair feedback on performance. Thank you
employees for coming to work and meeting expectations. Praise them when they
exceed expectations and communicate with them when they miss expectations.

Give employees as much control of their work as allowed.

Most people assert negative control when they feel as though they have none.
They do this by choosing to not stay late and coming in early. They make choices
to “show you” that they don’t have to do anymore than they
have to do.

Communicate the importance of their role in the organization.

Employees want to feel that they work is valued. Share how their work contributes
to client and company success.

Provide opportunity for growth and learning.

This doesn’t mean requiring them to go to company provided training sessions
that were planned by someone else (although it may be depending on the individual
and the learning topic and environment). Let the employee guide this process.
Discuss development with them.

Avoid the following questions:

  • “In what areas do you want to develop this year?”
  • “What kind of training would you be interested in taking this year?”

Try Theses Instead

  • “What parts of your job do you most enjoy?”
  • “If you could create your dream job, what would it be?”

Use the dialogue to help identify stretch assignments or goals you can establish
for the employee.

Ensure the work environment is cooperative and respectful.

Employees want to be treated fairly and with respect. As the supervisor you
need to model this behavior and hold everyone accountable to it.

Look for ways to remove obstacles to proficiency.

Look to see what obstacles are blocking employee’s success and find ways
to remove them. Look for unnecessary duplicate processes that can be removed.

Engage employees in finding solutions.

Operate an open door to bring concerns and questions. How you respond as a
supervisor sends a key message to an employee. If an employee comes to you with
a valid concern or suggestion, hear them out. Ask some of the following questions:

  • “What suggestions do you have to improve in this area?”
  • “How will this work in our department?”
  • “What benefits does it have?”
  • “What are the obstacles?”
  • “What support would you need to help implement this suggestion?

Set realistic work expectations.

Don’t expect everyone to work at the same pace and with the same strengths.
Set expectations that are reasonable and as previously mentioned remove obstacles
to success. Be flexible with how work is accomplished whenever possible to meet
individual differences.

Provide Fun.

Offer ways for employees to relax for a few minutes during the work day. Host
a potluck or special lunch for employees to socialize and network with one another
in a relaxed setting. If you can’t find an idea, there are multiple books
available with tons of ideas. Or just ask your employees what ideas they have.

Additional Perspectives on Avoiding Burnout

Burnout — Can You Recognize the Signs?
How
to Prevent Burnt Out Employees

The
Egoectomy Procedure

Notice
Burnout? Now What?

Also consider
Assertiveness
Attitude
Authenticity
Awareness
Bullying (Addressing)
Cynicism
Emotional Intelligence
Financial Fitness
Job Satisfaction
Motivating and Inspiring
Yourself

Physical Fitness
Self-Confidence
Stress Management
Work-Life Balance
Workaholism


For the Category of Personal Wellness:

To round out your knowledge of this Library topic, you may want to review some related topics, available from the link below. Each of the related topics includes free, online resources.

Also, scan the Recommended Books listed below. They have been selected for their relevance and highly practical nature.

Related Library Topics

Recommended Books


Workplace Bullying

A Person Pointing Finger at a Woman in Black Blazer

Workplace Bullying

Workplace bullying is a form of employee harassment of one
or more persons, by one or more perpetrators, that takes one or
more of the following forms: verbal abuse, offensive conduct/behaviors
(including nonverbal) which are threatening, humiliating or intimidating,
and work interference (sabotage) which prevents work from getting
done.

Various Perspectives on Bullying

Workplace Bullying (Wikipedia)
Workplace
Bullying Institute

Workplace Bullying: What Everyone Needs to Know
What To Do About Workplace Bullies
Kickbully.com
– Your Guide to Fighting Workplace Bullies

Workplace Bullying: Applying Psychological Torture
at Work

Why
Workplace Bullying Should Be Legal

Workplace Bullying ‘Epidemic’ Worse Than Sexual
Harassment

Workplace Bully Types
The Business Cost of Bullying in the Workplace
Workplace Bullying: A Management Primer
Ten Signs You’re Being Bullied At Work
Harassment Bullying – Free HR Employment Policy
for download

Also consider
Assertiveness
Attitude
Authenticity
Awareness
Burnout
Cynicism
Emotional
Intelligence

Motivating
and Inspiring Yourself

Personal Development
Personal Productivity
Self-Confidence
Stress
Management

Learn More in the Library’s Blogs Related to Bullying

In addition to the articles on this current page, also see
the following blogs that have posts related to this topic. Scan
down the blog’s page to see various posts. Also see the section
“Recent Blog Posts” in the sidebar of the blog or click
on “next” near the bottom of a post in the blog. The
blog also links to numerous free related resources.

Library’s
Coaching Blog

Library’s
Human Resources Blog

Library’s
Spirituality Blog


For the Category of Personal Wellness:

To round out your knowledge of this Library topic, you may
want to review some related topics, available from the link below.
Each of the related topics includes free, online resources.

Also, scan the Recommended Books listed below. They have been
selected for their relevance and highly practical nature.

Related Library Topics

Recommended Books


Self-Awareness: What It Is, Examples and Guidelines

Label Cut Out Papers on the Cardboard

Self-Awareness: What It Is, Examples and Guidelines

Personal development and wellness begins with awareness — of oneself and of others.

Also consider


So What is Self-Awareness?

“It’s about paying attention. It’s the details you pick up from your perception of the world. It’s your consciousness actively gathering and processing information from your environment. It’s how you experience life.” — Stephen Warley in his article: What Is Self-Awareness?

Here are more perspectives on what self-awareness is.

Example of the Importance of Self-Awareness

Expanding awareness

By Tom Roy

A series of surprises.

“I’m really disappointed in Mary’s performance. I may have to let her go. It’s sad. She was clearly the best candidate for the job when we recruited her last year.” But Bill was hard pressed to give his executive coach one concrete example of her sub-par performance. Asked why he had changed his mind about Mary, he suggested, “Well, in important meetings she sprawls in her chair, with her arms and legs all stretched out. It’s unprofessional.”

Bill was asked to mimic Mary’s posture, then describe what HE felt. He reset, thought a moment and frowned, puzzled. “Uh, very relaxed, comfortable, sort of opened up!” And how would he approach a problem if he were sitting like that? To his evident surprise, he blurted out, “Differently. Kind of curious, no holds barred.” Keeping this in mind in the coming months as he assessed Mary’s performance, Bill began to recognize that her results were in fact outstanding. Her next performance appraisal put her at the top of Bill’s tea m.

Internal processes:

Somatic: Bill, above, almost made a bad personnel decision by misinterpreting Mary’s body language. And in mimicking her posture, he learned he learned he could change his own awareness. Our mind and body are tightly integrated.

Emotional: the Greeks and Descartes tried to separate rational and emotional thought. But research over the past twenty years has shown that they are tightly linked and you ignore this at your peril. Many of our memories and schema are steeped in strong but unconscious emotions.

Thinking, deciding, doing: much, probably most, of our mental life is unconscious; sometimes this is useful, sometimes it is toxic; but unless we are aware of and manage our awareness of these states, our decisions and behaviors may be more random than intentional.

Creative: our brain creates models (schema) in part to husband limited energy. We run our brain on about 40 watts, like a dim light bulb, much less than a typical PC. So many thought patterns are learned, then shifted into unconscious and more efficient memory. Trying to be creative runs against this default mode and requires effort and practice.

These can either distort or improve key behaviors. Self-awareness is the first step towards enhancing in using them to enhance how we create and lead the following

Test – How Self-Aware Are You?

Take this short on-line test: Self-Awareness

Here is another self-awareness test: Level of Awareness Tests

So how self-aware are you? The articles in the following topic include suggestions for becoming more self-aware.

How to Develop More Self-Awareness?


Also consider

Related Library Topics

Learn More in the Library’s Blogs Related to Awareness and Self-Awareness

In addition to the articles on this current page, see the following blogs which have posts related to Awareness and Self-Awareness. Scan down the blog’s page to see various posts. Also see the section “Recent Blog Posts” in the sidebar of the blog or click on “next” near the bottom of a post in the blog.


For the Category of Personal Wellness:

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Also, scan the Recommended Books listed below. They have been selected for their relevance and highly practical nature.


Authenticity — How to Remain Authentic With Yourself and Others

Authenticity on a yellow background

Authenticity — How to Remain Authentic With Yourself and Others

© Copyright Carter McNamara, MBA, PhD

Sections of This Topic Include

Related Library Topics

Learn More in the Library’s Blogs Related to Authenticity

In addition to the articles on this current page, also see the following blogs that have posts related to Authenticity. Scan down the blog’s page to see various posts. Also see the section “Recent Blog Posts” in the sidebar of the blog or click on “next” near the bottom of a post in the blog. The blog also links to numerous free related resources.


About the Concept of Authenticity

Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice. – Ayn Rand, philosopher

The concept of authenticity has received a significant amount of attention recently as people search for meaning and happiness, particularly in their work lives. How one chooses to try to live more authentically depends on their own perspective on authenticity. Like many other popular concepts, different people have different views about authenticity and many people feel very strongly about their own views. Some people might assert that an individual is being authentic if they are being completely honest and participating in the here-and-now, eg, an honest conversation with a friend, completely focused on cleaning out the garage, etc. There are others who assert that authenticity involves many other features, including, eg, always being centered with themselves and others, living in a completely integrated fashion with their own values and principles, always feeling complete meaning or sense of purpose in their lives, etc.

The concepts of “authenticity” and “meaning” can seem almost the same. However, the major philosophical movement called existentialism has studied authenticity for centuries and helps us understand more abut what authenticity is, along with its relationship to the concept of meaning. Existentialists assert that if an individual is not living authentically in their lives, then they lose meaning and can fall into chronic anxiety, boredom and despair. People might pursue “quick fixes” to avoid the responsibility of living authentically, eg, quick fixes such as anesthetizing themselves with alcohol or drugs, living in fantasies, etc. Others might even assert that it’s inauthentic to pursue any approach (programs, books, etc.) that promises to help people transcend (escape?) the responsibilities — and sometimes drudgery — of day-to-day living.

Regardless of others’ perspectives on authenticity, it’s important for people in management to live and work as authentically as possible — a goal that is usually often difficult to achieve, particularly in large organizations. As mentioned above, how one chooses to live a more authentic life depends on their perspective. A person might choose to appreciate more their own current approach to life, or meditate on a regular basis, or journal (write down) their thoughts, or engage in regular retreats, or sign up for a more complete program, etc.

Major Benefits of Authenticity

© Copyright Carter McNamara, MBA, PhD

Peter Block, in his book Flawless Consulting, asserts that authenticity is one of the critical aspects of successful consulting (along with successfully carrying out the phases of consulting). There are several reasons for the importance of authenticity.

1. Encourages clients to be open, honest and direct in the here-and-now.

The collaborative consultant wants the client to be as open and honest as possible. The consultant can encourage open and honest behavior in others by modeling that behavior themselves. This helps the consultant to fully understand the client and provide useful feedback that the client will hear, as well.

Authenticity from your client also provides extremely valuable feedback to you. Frequently, you do not have sufficient opportunity to continually learn about yourself, particularly in settings with your clients. Clients who choose to be authentic around you are offering you a precious gift that can be used by you to cultivate a collaborative consulting relationship with them and others.

2. Builds client’s trust and confidence in your relationship.

You can build a strong relationship with your client by showing them that you trust them enough to be able to handle the truth. In turn, they will do the same thing for you. Trust and confidence are critical ingredients for a successful working relationship between you and your client.

3. Deals with issues before the issues fester.

When people express themselves honestly in the here-and-now, they are much more likely to report issues as soon as they notice them. This ensures that issues are addressed when they occur, rather than festering until they show themselves as major forms of resistance to change during the project.

4. Considers important “data” about the client’s situation.

Information that you gather from your other senses is important data about your client’s situation. The more open and honest that you can be about your own perceptions, the more likely that the data from your senses will be accurate. Many times that data can be used to more accurately understand your client’s situation.

5. Ensures organizational change efforts remain relevant, realistic and flexible.

Plans rarely are implemented as planned. Authentic behavior from your clients helps all parties involved to accurately perceive and talk about any changes in the project so, as a result, plans can be updated with those changes and thereby remain up-to-date. Perhaps Terry, in his book, Authentic Leadership, puts it best: “authenticity self-corrects.”

Key Guidelines to Authentic Behavior

Block and various schools of psychology, for example, Carl Rogers’ self-directed therapy, describe the following core characteristics of authentic behavior. Considering their descriptions, authentic behavior is more attainable than many believe and it might help you to work easier rather than work harder in your projects for change.

  1. Honest — Speak the truth.
  2. Direct — Speak in terms that are clear, concise and focused.
  3. About here-and-now — Speak about what is going on right now.
  4. From you — Report your own experience of the here-and-now.
  5. Non-judgmental of others — Speak about what you are experiencing around others, not of your judgments of others.

Unless you are authentic in a supportive manner, clients might feel like you are being aggressive. Aggressive behavior is perceived as demanding, forceful, arrogant and even hostile. That can cause discomfort, alienation, confusion and distrust between you and your clients. Experienced consultants have learned to employ authentic communication in a manner that is completely honest, yet remains supportive and respectful.

Note that authentic behavior does not always mean the consultant’s speaking the truth about anything and everything all the time. Sometimes the consultant senses that the client is not yet ready to hear about the consultant’s speculations, for example, about causes of issues or the client’s role in those issues. Sometimes these speculations would simply overwhelm and confuse the client. In every case, it is up to the consultant’s judgment as to how much they “think out loud.” However, usually there is more of a downside to not being authentic than the downside of sharing your thoughts and impressions with your clients.

Additional Perspectives on Authenticity

Also consider


For the Category of Personal Wellness:

To round out your knowledge of this Library topic, you may want to review some related topics, available from the link below. Each of the related topics includes free, online resources.

Also, scan the Recommended Books listed below. They have been selected for their relevance and highly practical nature.

Building Your Assertiveness

Young man showing-okay-gesture

Building Your Assertiveness

Copyright Carter
McNamara, Authenticity Consulting, LLC

Sections of this Topic Include

What is Assertiveness?
What About Aggressiveness? Are They the Same?
How Assertive Are You?
Strategies to Become More Assertive

What is Assertiveness?

In the context of management, assertiveness is respectfully and tactfully representing
yourself — your opinions and recommendations — fully to others. Here are some
definitions to consider:

Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without
being aggressive. In the field of psychology and psychotherapy, it is a learnable
skill and mode of communication.

Dorland’s
Medical Dictionary
defines assertiveness as:

A form of behavior characterized by a confident declaration or affirmation
of a statement without need of proof; this affirms the person’s rights or
point of view without either aggressively threatening the rights of another
(assuming a position of dominance) or submissively permitting another to ignore
or deny one’s rights or point of view.

Many experts would argue that you can’t effectively lead others if you can’t
effectively lead yourself. Assertiveness is a major aspect of self-leadership.

What About Aggressiveness? Are They
the Same?

Assertiveness and aggressiveness are sometimes confusing to think about because
they can seem to be the same. However, they are different — actually quite
different. Here is a very
concise and useful description
:

Assertive people state their opinions, while still being respectful of others.
Aggressive people attack or ignore others’ opinions in favor of their own.

Thus, you can be assertive (respectfully asserting your rights) without intending
to attack or ignore someone.

How Assertive Are You?

Take this online test to decide how assertive you are.

The
Assertiveness Inventory

Do you need to improve your assertiveness? Consider some of the strategies
listed below.

Strategies to Become More Assertive

It takes a certain amount of courage to assert yourself — to be seen, to risk
that your opinion may be wrong and that others might respond with strong disagreement
or even aggression. Here are some other traits that are useful in building on
your skills in assertiveness.

Authenticity
— to respectfully be honest and forthright about yourself, in the moment.

Emotional
Intelligence
— to know what you are feeling and to sense how others might
react to your assertions.

Motivating
and Inspiring Yourself
— to know what will give you the courage to be assertive.

Self -Awareness
— to realize that you are feeling offended, threatened or have a strong wish
that is not being honored.

Self-Confidence
— to have the faith in yourself that you can defend yourself — your pride
and your honor.

Vulnerability
— to risk how others might react to your assertions.

Here are some other suggestions:
How
to Be More Assertive at Work (Without Being a Jerk)
10
Tips for Being Assertive
A
Nice Person’s Guide To Becoming More Assertive
7
Powerful Habits That Make You More Assertive
Assertiveness: A Beginner’s
Guide to Standing Up for Yourself


Learn More in the Library’s Blogs Related to Assertiveness

In addition to the articles on this current page, see the following blogs which
have posts related to Assertiveness. Scan down the blog’s page to see various
posts. Also see the section “Recent Blog Posts” in the sidebar of the blog or
click on “next” near the bottom of a post in the blog.

Library’s
Coaching Blog

Library’s
Human Resources Blog

Library’s
Spirituality Blog


For the Category of Personal Wellness:

To round out your knowledge of this Library topic, you may want to review some related topics, available from the link below. Each of the related topics includes free, online resources.

Also, scan the Recommended Books listed below. They have been selected for their relevance and highly practical nature.

Related Library Topics

Recommended Books


How to Appreciate More

Business-people-clapping-hands-together

How to Appreciate More

© Copyright Carter McNamara, MBA, PhD

Sections of This Topic Include

Also consider


How Well Do You Appreciate, Show Gratitude?

Take this online self-assessment:

Gratitude

How much would you like to improve your ability to appreciate? Consider the guidelines in the following section.

How to Appreciate Even More

Why Is the Ability to Appreciate Accomplishments So Important?

Particularly with personnel in small- to medium-size organizations, it is rare that there is not a large amount of work to do. Because time is such a precious commodity in these organizations, it is common that their people cannot provide sustained effort to priorities and projects. Many times, they get put on “hold” for a few weeks as people attend to other sudden demands for their time, for example, developing a major proposal for a new customer, the Chief Executive Officer’s leaving for vacation, preparing for their annual meeting, or finishing a large product evaluation. For you and your employees, it can seem that activities have stalled out completely.

For many of us, it can seem like we are stuck in a merry-go-round that never goes anywhere and we cannot seem to get off. By ignoring our accomplishments, we are ignoring vast portions of our lives and our work – our perspective can become skewed and incomplete. That perspective can be a major obstacle to the success of leaders.

How Can You Maintain Appreciation for Appreciation?

As a leader, you can make a big difference in your effectiveness and that of your peoples’ accomplishments if all of you have the ability to recognize and appreciate your accomplishments regularly. Consider the following guidelines.

1. Convey the importance of appreciation when you start working with others.

Explain how important it is to recognize accomplishments as well as the tasks yet to be done. Mention it is really important in small- to medium-sized organizations.

2. Ask employees for ideas about how to regularly recognize completion of tasks.

Different cultures have different practices. Some might prefer a simple “Thank you,” while others might prefer a ritual of some sort. Therefore, it is important early in your leadership role to get ideas from your people.

3. When planning, build in acknowledgement of completion in plans.

Planning always results in a list of things to do. Too often, the design of the plans does not include means to recognize accomplishments. Planning is one of the best opportunities to regularly build in means to recognize accomplishments.

4. Design project tasks so it is clear whether they were finished or not.

This is often one of the biggest challenges in developing a sense of appreciation. Ideally, goals, objectives and other tasks are designed to be SMART, an acronym for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and timely.

5. Regularly acknowledge the completion of the tasks or progress on tasks.

Always seek to find opportunities to appreciate the work of your people. That practice can be a powerful means to model behaviors that they learn from in their lives and work.

Additional Aspects of Personal Wellness


Learn More in the Library’s Blogs Related to Appreciation

In addition to the articles on this current page, see the following blogs which have posts related to Appreciation. Scan down the blog’s page to see various posts. Also see the section “Recent Blog Posts” in the sidebar of the blog or click on “next” near the bottom of a post in the blog.


For the Category of Personal Wellness:

To round out your knowledge of this Library topic, you may want to review some related topics, available from the link below. Each of the related topics includes free, online resources.

Also, scan the Recommended Books listed below. They have been selected for their relevance and highly practical nature.