Category: Improving Yourself

Are you in this situation? You and your boss just don’t seem to connect and work well together. It isn’t that you are having knock down fights. It’s just that you know things could be better. You don’t want to look for another job. So you have to figure out how to make it work.

Here are seven guidelines for managing your boss so that your career won’t get stalled or sidetracked.

1. Know thy boss.
No two people think alike or work alike. No two bosses either. Your job is to find out her specific expectations – not to reform her, reeducate her or make her conform to what the management books recommend. For example: Does she want me to come in once a month and spend 30 minutes presenting the plans and performance of my team? Or does she want me to come in every time to report even when there’s a slight change?

2. Don’t hide.
It’s natural to yield to the tendency to minimize interaction with people we don’t see eye to eye with. Reducing your daily contact can cause a further loss of trust and respect on both sides. And a lack of communication can foster misunderstanding, mistakes and more problems.

3. Have perspective.
If you resent working under a manager you don’t like, you might perform below your abilities. Don’t let yourself fall into that trap. It could be a career killer. Rather, try to see what possible good there is if you let go of your frustration or anger. The boss can leave, you may get transferred to a more promising area or you may find that he or she wasn’t so bad after all.

4. Don’t bad-mouth.
Handle disagreements with your boss with particular care. Let him know of your concerns and suggest other alternatives or ideas. Support your manager’s position in public as much as you can and do you best to make polices and decisions work, rather than try to subvert them.

5. Avoid war at all cost.
The painful reality is that the boss has better access to power and influence at the top. If you take on this person, chances are you will lose. Management could very well stand behind the incompetent boss to avoid having its own hiring abilities called into question.

6. Make the boss look good.
Go to him or her and ask: “What do I and my people do that helps you do your job? And what do we do that makes life more difficult for you?” You need to find out what your boss needs and what gets in the way. Also, realize it is in your self interest to make the boss successful.

7. Keep the boss in the loop.
Bosses, after all, are held responsible by their own bosses for the performance of their people. They must be able to say: “I know what Anne (or Joe) is doing.” Bosses don’t like surprises!

How well do you manage your boss? What are some of the issues that won’t seem to go away? How can you do it better to get better results?

Do you want to develop Career Smarts?

Sally was so excited she couldn’t sleep. She kept playing the next day over and over in her head. She would arrive to her new job (her first “real job”) exactly ten minutes early dressed in the new business suit she received as a graduation present accessorized with a brand new leather Franklin Covey planner. She couldn’t help but to smile as she imagined being greeted by excited coworkers while receiving the full red carpet treatment she would receive as the newest employee at Dream Company, Inc. Her day would be busy and filled with introductions to co-workers who couldn’t wait to hear all the ideas she has to make things better at Dream Company, Inc.

When the alarm sounded the next morning at 6 a.m., Sally sprang out of bed as the excitement of the day masked her fatigue of a restless night sleep. As planned, she arrived at Dream Company, Inc. promptly at 7:50 am.

If your company was Dream Company, Inc., how would Sally’s story go from here? How long would it take for the honeymoon to end? Would Dream Company, Inc continue to be the dream she expected? What about her motivation? Would her immediate manager or peer group have a negative or positive effect on her? How does your culture support Sally?

Feel free to write the ending of the story and post comments about story telling in learning.

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For more resources, See the Human Resources library.

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Sheri Mazurek is a training and human resource professional with over 16 years of management experience, and is skilled in all areas of employee management and human resource functions, with a specialty in learning and development. She is available to help you with your Human Resources and Training needs on a contract basis. For more information send an email to smazurek0615@gmail.com or visit www.sherimazurek.com.

“When you work, you are a flute through whose heart the whispering of the hours turns to music” Kahlil Gibran

It’s been said in various faith traditions that God works through our feet and hands. Every day you get an opportunity to express God’s gifts through your work. As you share your gifts with the world, you are manifesting the Divine expression of Who You Are.

• Do you see your work as an expression of your Divine gifts?
• Do you see yourself as a Divine Being moving in the world?

You may find yourself caught up in your mundane tasks, the daily busyness, the time pressures or your performance goals that you pay more attention to what your hands and feet are doing (or your mouth and mind) than what your heart is doing. Our heart is what helps us connect to others and share our Divine Essence here on earth. Your ability to care about others, to deeply listen to someone, to offer acts of kindness are simple ways that God moves through you out into the world. Your feet and hands do the work, but your heart is what makes it all matter.

Here are some tips you can practice this week to engage your heart while you are working:

1. Listen when someone is hurting

2. Tell someone what you appreciate about them

3. Sit quietly and radiate loving kindness

4. Breathe deeply when someone criticizes you

5. Offer an apology when you react out of stress

6. Forgive someone who takes credit for your work

7. Forgive yourself for being less than perfect

8. Be patient with someone who unfairly judges you

9. Look past someone’s shortcomings to see them as a Divine Being

10. Build a temple of peace in your heart

I offer this revised Passover blessing for you to remember how to use your hands and feet and heart at work:

‘May I remember to use my powers to heal and not to harm,

to help and not to hinder,

to bless and not to curse,

to serve You O Spirit of Life’

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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Linda is an author, speaker, coach, and consultant. Go to her website www.lindajferguson.com to read more about her work, view video clips of her talks, and find out more about her book “Path for Greatness: Spirituality at Work” available on Amazon.

Does this sound familiar? You’ve spent the last several years working hard but never seem to get ahead. You’ve avoided the corporate ax, all right. You’ve seen others come and go and, at times, you’re grateful just to have a job.

But there are some moments when you cannot help but admit that you feel let down. Why aren’t you getting ahead? Here are 7 tips to get your career back on track and moving forward.

1. Take a hard look at where you are.
Are you getting paid a salary that is commensurate with your contribution to your company? Can you point to a list of successes that somehow added to the company bottom line or mission?

If not, start looking for opportunities to quickly upgrade your skills or take on more responsibilities or solve an ongoing problem. It’s important to be seen as a valuable asset – an indispensable employee.

2. Take a hard look at where your company is.
Perhaps your lack of progress is tied to the adverse conditions affecting your organization. How is your department doing? How is the rest of the company doing? What are its short and long term prospects? Is it time to move on?

3. Identify any wrong turns.
Have you taken a job in the past that somehow took you off into another direction, away from your goal? Figure out how you can use that detour to your advantage. Start plotting you way back to the main road.

4. Assess what you’re selling.
Update your accomplishment file. Look at it from the perspective of a potential employer, even if that’s your present employer. What skills and achievements do you bring to the table? How do you compare to your peers and more importantly to the emerging leaders? What do you need to do to enhance your competitiveness?

5. Strengthen inside contacts.
In selecting them, think primarily about two types. Those who can best promote your interests and those who are in a position to know where the potholes and opportunities are in the organization. It’s valuable to have strong ties with people in both groups.

6. Gets your name on projects.
The first thing is to get appointed to or even volunteer for projects, task forces or short term assignments. Focus on work that will give you quick results and visibility throughout the organization.

7. Strengthen outside contacts.
Keep in touch with people in your own and related fields. Go to lunch with colleagues, attend conferences and join professional groups. Bring back information to your boss, try out new techniques that can impact your department, or even give a class on something you’ve learned.

Career Success Tip

It may become apparent that your best opportunity lies outside your present organization. It may be time to move on. However, look before you leap. The grass may, or may not, not be greener someplace else.

Well it’s time to stop thinking about it; it’s time to start doing something about it. What are you going to do to get your career back on track?

Do you want to develop Career Smarts?

When was the last time you practiced random acts of kindness at your workplace? This could be a fun way for you to spread your spirit and show kindness. You can spread your kindness a variety of ways – a kind act of service, a kind word of encouragement or a kind thought that you send their way. We all know that the little things we do go a long way!

Lovingkindess

An inspiring story I heard about lovingkindness comes from the book Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happy from the Inside Out by Marcy Shimoff and Carol Kline. Not only does this story show us a simple way we can show kindness, but also illustrates the powerful impact it has on us as well. When I first heard of this story about a year ago, I thought it was a good idea. Then I heard it again a few months later and tried it a couple of times. The third time I heard it is when it “stuck” and I’ve been working ever since to make this a habit. (I also briefly mentioned this concept is in my H is for Happiness entry.)
CJ Scarlet Click here to find out more about CJ) suffered from a chronic, life-threatening illness that she cured herself within a year from by choosing to focus on the happiness of others – from family members to strangers – through wishing people lovingkindness. She shared in the book that it transformed her life when she shifted to focusing 100% on what would bring happiness to others. Here is how it transformed her, “And when I wished them happiness, I felt a wave of love for them, which sometimes led to action and at other times was just a prayer, a heartfelt desire for their happiness. I started to see everyone as beautiful.”
I couldn’t agree more! I’ve been having so much fun sending lovingkindness to all those I encounter. I figure most of us get enough negative energy coming our way, so why not spread something positive instead! I’m so grateful that this kindness habit has transformed the way I see people and has help eliminate the judgments I might have previously felt toward others.
CJ’s final thoughts from the book are a great transition; closing this entry on kindness and previewing the next entry on love. “The most powerful force for good is the loving compassion that resides in our hearts. It was the flow of love that healed my body and today has become a bubbling, clear spring of happiness in my life.”

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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Janae Bower is an inspirational speaker, award-winning author and training consultant. She founded Finding IT, a company that specializes in personal and professional development getting to the heart of what matters most. She started Project GratOtude, a challenge to inspire people to be more grateful.

How can you ramp up quickly and start getting results?

There are few career moments as exciting, and these days as perilous, as being promoted from an individual contributor to a manager. Here are seven career tactics with quotes from professional who have successfully moved into management.

1. Begin your transition before you start the job.
What are the key challenges? Which functions are strong, and which ones need to be overhauled? What are your expectations in the first month, after 6 months, within a year? Use that information to develop an action plan from day one.

“The interview process is where you start. That’s where you begin asking questions to find out what it will take to be successful.”

2. Acknowledge what you don’t know.
Identify those around you who are the experts and don’t be afraid to lean on them. No one expects an incoming manager to know everything. And there is nothing more off-putting to a future team than a know it all boss.

“I had lots of credibility as a manufacturing engineer. But suddenly I was responsible for tool design, fuselage definition, all kinds of areas that weren’t in my background. I had to get up to speed fast.”

3. Be an elephant hunter not an ant stomper.
You can’t fix everything at once despite the pressures that are on you as the new manager. Everyday you must go out hunting elephants, those high priority goals, rather than stomping ants, those tasks that are quick kills but do not put much meat on the table.

“Typically, you can’t do everything you want to do, so you need to make some strategic choices. This is where you begin to align your goals around your organization’s key initiatives.”

4. Target a few early wins.
Nothing succeeds like success. It’s critical for a new manager to create momentum during the transition. Pick some problems the organization has not been able to solve and figure out a way to fix them quickly.

“I didn’t want to solve world hunger in the first three months, but I was looking for a couple of things that would pay immediate dividends. Where I could get the attention of my boss and show her I can be effective.”

5. Keep an eye on the clock.
Make sure your time is used to its best advantage. If you’re like most hard-charging managers, you’ve got a well-articulated to-do list. Now take another look: Where’s your stop-doing list?

“We’ve all been told that managers make things happen and that’s true. But it’s also true that good managers distinguish themselves by their discipline to stop doing anything and everything that doesn’t fit.”

6. Fix your mistakes faster than you make them.
Taking over a top job exposes a new leader to all kinds of pitfalls. Accept that you can’t know everything in your first six months and can’t insulate you from making mistakes.

“The key is to assess yourself and your progress and to be prepared to make your own course corrections as you go along”.

7. Balance the big picture with front line views.
Go where the action is. Get out of your office and walk the shop, retail, plant floors. Talk with your front-line people, your peers, your customers and even your suppliers. They generally will give you the “real” scoop rather than what you tend to hear from your direct reports .

“During my first six months, I visited more than 50 stores and met with more than 500 team members. I knew they could tell me, better than headquarters, what the company needed to do in order to keep on growing.”

Your experience moving into management.

What lessons have you learned that would help the newly promoted? I would enjoy hearing from you.

Do you want to develop Career Smarts?

Well how did you do last week listening for people’s feelings and needs? Have you noticed when you’ve carried someone’s stone that wasn’t yours to carry?

The final part of this blog series is Empathy- How do we authentically and honestly express Empathy for others as they are dealing with problems and struggles?

In my classes on Communication and Emotional Intelligence, I have my participants examine the difference between Empathy vs. Sympathy. It’s an important distinction when it comes to hearing your co-workers’ problems.

Empathy is about understanding their problems. As you practice listening for feelings and needs, you seek to understand what is going on for them. You are not necessarily trying to fix their problem for them. Empathy does not mean to share their feelings with them, only that you understand what their feelings are. You don’t have to agree with their feelings. This is important. Empathy is not about agreeing with or liking how the other person feels. It’s about staying present to their feelings in an open and understanding way when they are sharing those feelings or expressing them.

Sympathy means to feel the same feelings as another person. You share their feelings. If they are hurt or upset, you are hurt or upset. Sympathy can be tricky if you want to show that you care about someone. Often people will try to suck you into their pity party. They want you to agree with them about how awful a situation is.

You may genuinely feel how they feel about a situation. Empathy is often described as walking in another person’s shoes. With this view of empathy we might feel how they feel. If so, honor that. Just pay attention. It may be that your co-worker is trying to bait you into having an ally in their pain. You can decide if you want to go there with them!

Sympathy may drag you into their emotional problems and lead to you joining them feeling crummy. You can play the “aint-it-awful game” with them if you want. Just know you will start carrying some heavy stones that way.

When you want to refrain from taking on another’s problem, yet listen empathically as they vent, Marshall Rosenberg suggests asking a question “What’s alive in you right now in this situation”? This question often directs attention to someone’s own feelings rather than on what another person is doing to them. I’ve also found this question helpful for myself when I’ve felt upset about something. Asking ‘What’s Alive in me?’, helps me to get more clear on what I am feeling and needing in a troubling situation. From there I can take steps to meet those needs in a caring and understanding way.

See how you can be present to someone who is struggling this week. Notice if you feel an obligation to share those same feelings as your co-worker. Feel what it feels like for you to simply listen to understand what your co-worker is going through. Show up in a caring authentic way with them and allow them to express their feelings without trying to fix, fade, or share their feelings.

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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Linda is an author, speaker, coach, and consultant. Go to her website www.lindajferguson.com to read more about her work, view video clips of her talks, and find out more about her book “Path for Greatness: Spirituality at Work” available on Amazon.

Bringing Joy to Work

“To bring joy to billions” is the mission statement of Rhonda Byrne, author of The Secret and her newly released book The Power. I know that I’m one of those billion people that she was intending to bring joy to. While her work has brought me joy, she has no idea that it has. And that is like most of our work. We have no idea the kind of joy it brings to others. Maybe you’re involved in creating a product or service that changes lives. Or maybe your product or service doesn’t change lives, but you are doing so by connecting intimately with your colleagues and customers. We’ll never know the kind of joy that we will bring to another person. We just have to trust we do and keep on being joyful in our work.

Lately I’ve been observing others bringing joy to their work, which elevates my joy. Here is what I’ve noticed. The loving arms of my son’s preschool teachers welcoming him for his first day of school. The passionate woman over the phone raising money for a cause she deeply believes in. The hugs and encouraging words two facilitators share with their participants, those struggling with chronic or life-threatening illnesses. The store clerk patiently waiting to serve her long line of customers with a smile. The employee inspired to start a special interest group at her organization that is changing people’s lives.
What does joy look like in your work? The latest project that I’ve been working on is bringing me so much joy! The following is the announcement that I sent to my database about it and it brings me joy to share it with you now.

Project GratOtude Has Arrived

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. – William Arthur Ward

Greetings,
Yesterday I celebrated my birthday and thought about what it might be like to leave the gifts I received unopened. I would miss out on the experience to share pure joy with those whom I receive gifts from and with others who receive mine. According to many different experts, the importance of gratitude is the key to living a fulfilling, joyful life. While this might seem obvious, very few people actually take the time to work on integrating gratitude into their daily lives.

Recently I received a huge gift of inspiration to start a movement encouraging people to be more grateful, naming it Project GratOtude.
Today on Sept. 13 I am unwrapping this present and giving it to you on the same day that Oprah is beginning her farewell season.
Project GratOtude is dedicated to honor Oprah because she is one of my greatest teachers on the subject of how to give big and dream big.

Come find out about this grass-roots effort to inspire ONE million people to make a difference through the Project GratOtude Challenge at www.projectgratOtude.com. Join our community and we’ll give you all the secrets and tools to be MORE GRATEFUL.

We’ve gotta GREAT feeling about what’s in store for all of us who are embarking on this Project GratOtude journey together. You will feel joy rising for yourself as you make a difference and others will catch your contagious energy!

With GratITude,
Janae Bower

p.s. I invite you to join this challenge, which will bring YOU joy through practicing gratitude: www.projectgratOtude.com

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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Janae Bower is an inspirational speaker, award-winning author and training consultant. She founded Finding IT, a company that specializes in personal and professional development getting to the heart of what matters most.

My last blog was about not carrying someone’s stone – that is, pay attention to when you step in and fix someone else’s problem that is not yours to fix. I suggested instead for you to take some time to discern what is yours to do vs. not. Perhaps some of you had a hard time with that this week, maybe others of you caught yourself and were able to let the stone lay where it needed.

This week I want to write about how you can connect with someone who’s in the midst of a struggle in an authentic way of caring, yet not do their work for them. Marshall Rosenberg’s work called Non-Violent Communication (NVC) has led to a significant shift in how I view the world and has led me to be more conscious of my words and actions with others. I’d like to share, in a very short way, his four steps for compassionate connection with others.

The four part process involves Observing without judging what is happening as being either good or bad. Practicing observation without evaluation or judgment starts you on the road to being present to what is happening, to describing events without claiming rightness or wrongness.

The second step is identifying the Feelings you or the other has in a situation, again without diagnosing or evaluating. Paying attention to the feelings that are emerging will help your co-worker bring awareness to themselves rather than focusing on the actions someone else did that may be causing the problem or hardship.

The third step is identifying the underlying Needs that are not being met in the situation. Rosenberg suggests that our feelings often direct us to what our needs are, like a ‘check engine’ light in your car. Having your co-worker connect with their feelings allows them to get in touch with their underlying needs. Rosenberg says there are basic universal needs people from all cultures have. These needs are what make us human, such as respect, autonomy, harmony, love.

The final step is to make a Request of another to help meet the unmet needs in that situation. After listening to your co-worker’s feelings and getting clear on their need, you could ask ‘What would help you meet your unmet need’? This focuses on effective strategies that will meet needs rather than continue the blame game your co-worker may be playing.

Rather than blaming, criticizing, guilt-tripping or condemning, NVC offers a four part process for communicating (Observation, Feelings, Needs and Requests – OFNR) that focuses on identifying what is honestly going on and then communicating from that place of authenticity and openness. I have found this has greatly enriched my relationships at work and home.

1. Observe non-judgmentally what happens in work situations

2. Listen authentically for your own and another’s feelings

3. Discern what you or another’s needs are

4. Identify strategies that can help you or another meet their needs.

Rosenberg’s book “Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life” explains this four part approach in greater detail. I’ve enjoyed and learned a fair bit as well from Rosenberg’s DVDs, which capture his humor and depth. If these ideas resonate with you, I encourage you to explore these resources further.

I invite you to focus on what you are feeling and needing in a challenging or troubling situation sometime this week. See if you can get clear on your feelings and needs and explore a strategy that will help you connect with your true nature of caring, loving, giving, and receiving.

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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Linda is an author, speaker, coach, and consultant. Go to her website www.lindajferguson.com to read more about her work, view video clips of her talks, and find out more about her book “Path for Greatness: Spirituality at Work” available on Amazon.

I’m going to write a 3 part series on carrying the weight of problems at work. In this first part I’m going to address how to be a “witness” of someone’s problem and be aware of how often you carry someone else’s stone.

Many people get into the jobs they do because they like to solve problems, fix things, and help people. Certainly our workplaces run smoothly when we support one another. Yet many people believe that the way to support a co-worker or ‘help’ them is to solve their problem. Sometimes the best way to support a co-worker is to simply listen attentively and witness their struggle. In the Buddhist tradition this is referred to as practicing compassionate understanding. In the co-dependent movement this is called paying attention to what’s yours to do vs. not yours to do.

So what do you do when a co-worker comes to you with a problem? The first and central question to ask is – who’s problem is it? Is this mine to do or not? That can sometimes be the hardest issue to discern. One reason I like a coaching and empowerment approach, whether you are a supervisor or not, is that it focuses the problems on those whose responsibility it is to resolve. In other words- whose stone is it to carry?

Think back on a time when you’ve taken someone’s problem from them and you carried it instead? Do that with several colleagues and you’re now carrying a bagful of stones. Do you want to carry around that much weight?

So the first part of examining when you carry stones is to be aware of when you take on other people’s problems and fix it for them. This week notice how often someone comes to you to fix their problem. Simply notice the situations and practice discerning whether you need to take on their problem. No need to criticize yourself when you pick up another’s stone that they could handle, simply be aware when that happens. Guilt or shame are only more stones to carry that you don’t need to add to your bag.

If you find yourself in a situation to hear another’s struggle, and you can see that it’s not your problem to solve, practice being a witness to their struggle. Notice how you feel being witness to another’s pain. Do you feel uncomfortable when someone else is in pain or struggling? Sometimes the temptation is to fix another’s problem because we feel uncomfortable with their pain or turmoil. In other situations, we can get a big ego boost when we save the day for another. I invite you to pay attention to how you feel as a problem solver and helper. This week be aware of how it feels to witness another’s struggle that is not yours to fix. Practice letting the stone sit where it is without carrying it for others.

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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Linda is an author, speaker, coach, and consultant. Go to her website www.lindajferguson.com to read more about her work, view video clips of her talks, and find out more about her book “Path for Greatness: Spirituality at Work” available on Amazon.