Category: Improving Yourself

You may have experienced toxic people in your work and aren’t sure how to deal with it. A coaching colleague of mine, Pat Farrell, works in this realm with nurses. I’ve known Pat for several years since we share a mission to support people working and living with passion and purpose. This week, I want to feature a newsletter article Pat wrote about her work with nurses and ‘lateral violence’ . Her ideas below apply to any one who experiences intimidation or bullying behaviors at work.

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I’ll bet you’ve heard “It’s just the way he is” or “Oh don’t mind her, she’s like that.” Lateral violence in the workplace is a term that may not be familiar to us but we know it when we see and feel it. Embarrassing. Belittling. Verbally abusive language. Gossip. Condescending speech. Familiar to anyone? Why do we let it go on? Why is this ok for us?

It takes courage to confront. Anger is not courageous. Ignoring bad behavior is not courageous – in fact, it feels just the opposite. The trick to confronting is caring about you and others. You have to care enough about restoring or maintaining a relationship to confront someone who has let you down, embarrassed you or made you the center of a ridicule or cruel joke. Confronting is NOT retaliation. It is not getting even. It’s about speaking the truth in love. Now that takes courage.

There are some simple guidelines to follow that will enable you to restore peace in the home or workplace. Are you speaking the truth in love when you confront a teammate in front of the staff? Your husband in front of his buddies? An essential rule of caring enough to confront is to speak to someone in private. Want to drive someone to anger or “silent violence”? Confront them in front of their colleagues, it works every time.

Are you concerned about preserving a relationship when you confront someone in the height of anger? You can’t confront any situation if you’re mad. Almost 3000 years ago, Solomon taught us “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly”. (Proverbs 14:29) No wiser words. Wait. Take the time to regain your composure so that you can better understand a situation. Remember the objective is a peaceful environment and two angry people shouting in public can never accomplish this goal. (And sneering and glaring at each other will only escalate the problem.)

Be sure that when you are courageous and decide to care enough to confront – it’s for all the right reasons. Care enough about yourself, the other person, and your home or work to create a healing environment.

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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Pat Farrell is a nurse and a life coach. With 37 years of experience in a variety of healthcare settings, she brings a personal understanding to the efforts of improving HCAHPS scores and ending lateral violence within the nursing profession. Pat’s mission is, ” to help others find their path – their purpose – their mission. To have meaningful work brings an indescribable sense of peace and purpose.” pat@patfarrellcoach.com

Fun at work can take many forms depending on the organization and the individual. Take my husband and me for example. This week we both had fun at work.

Outward Fun

His fun came through a quality and teambuilding conference he attended. One evening after dinner together they all went go-cart racing. He had a blast trying to defend his winning title from last year. While his fun at work was more outwardly visible – people having a good time by laughing, joking and playing together – my fun was more of what I would describe inward fun. Both ways are about feeling good!

Inward Fun

Usually when it’s nap or quiet time with my boys, I rush to the computer to get work done. This morning I decided to have fun at work. My son Garrett fell asleep in the car and instead of getting out of the car myself when I arrived home, I stayed in the car. I rolled open my sun roof to enjoy the warmth of the sun on this beautiful Minnesota summer day. I reclined my chair, shut my eyes and listened to the wisdom of one of my favorite spiritual teachers, Dr. Wayne Dwyer. I had so much fun just “being” and soaking in all the light and enlightenment into my soul. When Garrett woke up we proceeded to cool off in the backyard swinging together in the hammock. On the hammock I felt great as I reflected on all the things I was grateful for my life, smiled at my son and wrote this entry in my mind. This is the kind of work is fun to me!

Fun becomes world famous

An organization that is world famous for having fun at work is Pike Place Fish Market in Seattle. How they became world famous was the intention to be and had fun living up to it along the way. On the road of becoming world famous, the fishmongers crated a philosophy to guide them. An important part of their philosophy is to “Play” and have a good time at work. A training video company filmed this amazing, high-energy and spirited workplace and called the video Fish. Since then their company culture has become a model for other organizations. Pike Place Fish is now used as a case study in business schools and universities. There are at least four books that have been published about Pike Place Fish, one an international best-seller. They are the subject of the best selling training videos and DVDs in the world.

Fun is the work

Leslie Yerkes, author of a couple of books about having fun at work, states that fun isn’t the prize at work, but is the work. “When fun is integrated with work instead of segmented from work, the resultant fusion creates energy; it cements relationships between coworkers and between workers and the company. When fun is integrated into work, it fosters creativity and results in improved performance.”

How will you infuse fun into your work?

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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Janae Bower is an inspirational speaker, award-winning author and training consultant. She founded Finding IT, a company that specializes in personal and professional development getting to the heart of what matters most.

I want to follow up Janae’s posting on employee engagement with this quote from a colleague Dr. Joan Marques, Founder/President at Academy for Spirituality and Professional Excellence (ASPEX). “There’s a difference between apathy and acceptance. Apathy lets you endure life. Acceptance helps you enjoy it.”

How many times have you seen co-workers drudge through their day just trying to get to 5:00 or the weekend? The idea of engagement that Janae wrote about includes having energy to do your work and feeling a sense of joy or passion for what you do. Sometimes that’s hard to muster when you have a lot of little ankle-biter tasks stacking your desk. It’s easy on those days to just keep your head low and plow through your stack until you see some light of day.

Whether you face your mundane tasks with a sense of apathy or acceptance is yours to decide. As I wrote a couple weeks ago, Choose Your Attitude. Feeling apathetic about your work, as if you are slugging through mud, can actually be draining, emotionally and mentally. Rather than fighting, struggling or dreading what’s on your desk, find ways that you can shift perspective and remain open to what the Universe is asking of you at this time. Perhaps you can even invite with joy and anticipation something fun to come from it – a new opportunity, learning, or connection to others while doing your tasks.

Acceptance means welcoming, greeting, what is yours to do. Acceptance is embracing what is yours to do with as much spirit of service and contribution to a greater good that you can feel. You have to get the task done anyway, why not find something enjoyable in doing it!

Here’s a related story I heard some years ago. One day a group of mountain climbers were working their way up a steep cliff. One of the climbers lost his grip and slid down the side until he caught hold of a small outcrop of rock. In the rock slide his left eye contact fell out and he felt a bit dizzy and disorientated only able to see clearly from one eye.

His buddies below called up to him to hold tight until one of them could climb up to bring him down. The climber called down that he lost his contact and could they look for it below to bring up when they came to get him. Otherwise, he’d have a hard time making his way back down.

His friends frantically scoured the ground below thinking it was probably futile looking for the contact. Even if they did find it most likely it would be broken or scratched and useless to their friend. To their surprise after 10 mins. of looking, one friend saw a small bright gleam of light and bent down to see the contact laying on an ant. He grabbed the contact, wrapped it up and put it in his pocket to go get his friend.

Meanwhile, the little ant was relieved to have the giant piece of glass taken from its back. The ant was almost baked in the heat of the sun through the glass. After the man took the contact off his back the little ant cried, ‘Lord, I don’t know what you put on my back or why you had me carry it across these rocks, but I’m glad I could serve you in this way today’

You never know the meaning or purpose of the load you carry. I invite you to accept what is yours to do with the humility and grace of the ant, knowing that there may be a purpose to your small daily tasks much bigger than you can see.

Feel free to share here any stories that you’ve heard or experiences you’ve had where you’ve been able to accept something that was yours to do or where you shifted from being apathetic to finding meaning in what you were doing.

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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Linda J. Ferguson is a job coach, inspiring speaker and author – www.lindajferguson.com

There is a growing recognition even among the hardest-driving companies that they pay a price for not engaging their employees. A disengaged workplace can manifest itself in low morale, high turnover, burnout, frequent stress-related illness, and rising absenteeism. Many years ago the Gallup Organization discovered that, “disengaged” or “actively disengaged” employees which make up 64% of the workforce, could cost organizations overall up to $355 billion a year! The smartest organizations – and employees – are revitalizing their workplaces to become supportive and inspirational environments. When employees are encouraged to release their passions and potential, they become fully engaged in the work and committed to the organization. As a result, the possibility for organizations to produce greater productivity and profits is significantly increased. By being engaged you can create a vibrant place to work not only for yourself, but for all those around you.

So how do we engage in our work?

Energy

The first way is be aware of your energy level. Think of the workplace as each of us walking around as balls of energy emitting waves of vibrations to each other. While you can’t physically see these vibrations you can feel and hear how they impact other people’s energy levels. For example, the workplace is filled with “energy vampires” just waiting to suck the energy from you and everyone else around them. The workplace is also filled with “energy fairies” wanting to sprinkle their magical, positive “gold energy dust” on all those they come into contact with. While workplace vampires drain us of our energy and thus disengage us with our work, the workplace fairies uplift our energy making us feel lighter and more connected with our work.

Enthusiasm

The other way is through enthusiasm. I’ve always appreciated that the Greek root of this word means God within. To be enthusiastic is something that we need to be from the inside out. We resonate our enthusiasm to others once we know how to radiate it first within ourselves; connecting with the heart of we are, our divine selves.

Choice

To fully engage in our workplaces is a choice we make each day. Poet David Whyte shared an analogy that has always stuck with me. He said how we need to bring our wholeselves to work because many of leave most of who we are in the car when we go to work. Yet when we are engaged, fully engaged in ourselves, we tap into our highest energy and enthusiasm levels; allowing us to work wholeheartedly!

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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Janae Bower is an inspirational speaker, award-winning author and training consultant. She founded Finding IT, a company that specializes in personal and professional development getting to the heart of what matters most.

This is taken from my forth-coming book “Staying Grounded in Shifting Sand”

On an early morning walk in the Royal Chitwan National Park in Nepal, our group came across a couple of rhinos bathing in a small pool. Our guide told us to lay low since the rhino will charge if it senses danger. Our guide also explained that rhinos have very poor eyesight, and so if it sees something move, it will charge regardless of what the animal is. Rhinos have even attacked jeeps. Our guide seemed to take delight in calling to the rhinos to get their attention and then had us back off when the rhinos looked around or moved. The rhino is a good metaphor for those who are living their lives without a fully awakened mind. Many people sense danger and attack, even if they don’t fully understand what they are attacking. And because they can’t see clearly, they feel in a state of anxiety or danger most of the time. You may know such people. They could be co-workers, neighbors, community leaders, friends or family members.

When stressed we react out of instinct or deeply learned patterns. We react without thinking through what may be happening, or as the rhino, without seeing what’s really going on. Luckily we humans can stop from instinctive, knee jerk reactions. We can reflect on the situation and see it from various viewpoints. Staying open and aware you needn’t simply react. You can choose how you respond. You can attack or flee or you can negotiate, cajole, charm, or surrender. As we move from childhood to adulthood we learn to see situations beyond what is immediately happening and to consider various options for dealing with life events.

It is too easy to get beaten down by the daily tasks in our lives, to let our small self, our ego, our fears run the show. The question is- what game do you want to play? Do you want to play the game of life that feeds that small ego-self or do you want to play the game that expands yourself. The bigger game involves seeing where your growing edge is, moving beyond your comfort zone, and be willing to stay there long enough to learn the lesson required and find more solid ground. This is a game that lets you tap into power much larger than your small self and achieve possibilities beyond your wildest dreams.

The spiritual way to move through your work day is to play the game of the awakened mind- one where you see your physical, material world unfold and also see the events metaphorically or metaphysically as the opportunities to grow, learn and experience joy. The object of the spiritual game at work is to learn to forgive more, offer compassion at every opportunity, be joyful, and find peace in any given moment.

“Be kind whenever possible. It’s always possible.” Dalai Lama

www.lindajferguson.com

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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It’s one thing to believe in the Divine and it’s another thing to believe in the guidance that the Divine is giving you. According to the authors of the book A Spiritual Audit of Corporate America, almost everyone who was interviewed believed in a higher power or God. However, when it came to feeling the presence of that higher power or God at work about half felt it and the other half didn’t.
When we can tap into the Divine that constantly surrounds us is when we can really experience a greater sense of meaning, purpose and joy in all we do. One book that really opened my eyes, hears, heart and soul around this concept is the book Divine Guidance: How to Have a Dialogue with God and Your Guardian Angels by Doreen Virtue.
According to Virtue, “How you receive guidance from God and your guardian angels isn’t important. What matters is that you notice them, can verify their Divine source and act on it. God always answers the questions, requests and prayers we hold in our hearts. Since God knows everything about us; we might as well be completely candid when requesting Divine guidance.”
There are four methods or channels to receive divine guidance. We each have the ability to receive guidance through all of these methods. Most of us have one or two channels that tend to be stronger. As I share the methods and examples of how I’ve used this channel for guidance in my work, I want you to think of your own examples at work.

1. Clairvoyance (clear seeing) – guidance comes as still pictures/images or moves in your mind’s eye. Examples include dreams, mental pictures, mental movies, seeing colors/auras, visual signs from heaven, and symbols. My example: Before I wrote created my You’re IT Tribute Book in honor of my mom, I saw her opening up this book in which each page was from someone whose life she touched telling a story of how my mom has made a difference in their lives.
2. Clairaudience (clear hearing) – hearing from the outside or inside your head – still, small voice within; auditory messages. My example: I was guided to write my first book The Little Girl Who Found IT: A Story of Heart and Hope by a small voice within that told me to write a poem, which many years later turned into my book.
3. Clairsentience (clear feeling) – receiving guidance as an emotion or physical sensation such as a smell, tightened muscle or a touch; feeling or hunches. My example: When I was meeting for the first time with the team for a training design project that I’ve been hired for a wonderful integrative health and healing program called Renewing Life, I got chills over my body, which is a clear signal for me that I’m being guided by a heavenly purpose.
4. Claircognizance (clear knowing) – suddenly knowing something or ideas for a fact, without knowing how you know. My example: This is a calmness I have inside that I know something will manifest when the time is right. This came true for me at a professional development meeting for the University of Minnesota as I’m adjunct faculty in the College of Continuing Education department. I just knew that it would be just a matter of time before I would be the one presenting to the other instructors some of the techniques I’ve been implementing in my classes.

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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Janae Bower is an inspirational speaker, award-winning author and training consultant. She founded Finding IT, a company that specializes in personal and professional development getting to the heart of what matters most.

How many of you work in a CYA environment? I’m guessing many of you are nodding yes. Well – it all depends on perspective. What if CYA didn’t mean ‘Cover Your Ass’ but rather ‘Choose Your Attitude’. How different would your workplace be if people really got it that they alone are responsible for how their day goes. Everyone gets a chance to choose their attitude from the minute they walk into work, to the staff meetings they sit through, to the way they talk to their co-workers. Here’s a little insider information – You create your world from the inside out. Choosing your attitude is the first step.

What do I mean by creating your world from the inside out? Your attitudes, beliefs, thoughts, judgments shape your words and deeds. When you truly understand you have the power to choose your attitudes (and I’m including here your beliefs, thoughts, judgments), you are the master of your world*. Your inner dialogue shapes how your outer world unfolds. When was the last time someone pushed a hot button of yours? Guess what – you can’t determine what others do, but you can determine how your respond. Choosing your attitude is an empowering approach to your work. You control your mental and emotional state, rather than giving your control away to someone else.

There are only two responses you can give in any moment– acts of love or acts of fear. Cover Your Ass is a fear-based response. Choose Your Attitude helps you remember you can choose a loving response instead.

We always get a chance to choose our attitude, in the small and large ways. Pay attention to how you respond to things this week. Do you respond from a place of love or fear? Affirm that you are able to respond with loving kindness to others, no matter what they do. You’ll move more easefully through your day if you do.

Here’s an affirmation to help you this week:

I know I am whole, balanced and supported by staying true to my Source of Love. I know that everyone is doing the best they can in any moment. Let me enhance this moment with my compassionate understanding and loving kindness. I will stay true to my inner knowing that I am Love regardless of what goes on around me. As such I will choose the most loving thought, word or deed I can offer in the moment.

* My second book,” Staying Grounded in Shifting Sand”, shares more information about Personal Mastery. To see the 1st chapter and a video overview of the book, go to- http://www.NextTopAuthor.com/?aid=2089 If you feel so moved, please vote for me as the Next Top Author before 11:59 pm tomorrow (Mon. June 28).

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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My description of spirit in the workplace is that it allows you to feel a greater sense of connection by bringing your whole self, the essence of who you are, to a supportive environment. People are yearning for connections on multiple levels – connecting with a higher purpose, connecting lovingly with yourself, connecting deeply with others and connecting meaning with your work.
“Spirituality is the deep feeling of interconnectedness of everything. To be spiritual is to examine the connections between one’s products and services and the impacts they have on the broader environment. The recognition of interconnectedness constantly forces one to expand one’s vision,” according to the authors of the book A Spiritual Audit of Corporate America.

THE CONNECTION OF THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT
The “butterfly effect” is a wonderful example of this interconnectedness principle. What started out as a myth and legend in 1963, has now been proven scientifically through the Law of Sensitive Dependence Upon Initial Conditions. What this means is that the mere flaps of a butterfly wings can set “molecules of air in motion and continue to do this until eventually it’s capable of starting a hurricane on the other side of a planet.” Andy Andrews in this book The Butterfly Effect: How Your Life Matters explains this theory and shares wonderful examples of this interconnectedness of our lives. It’s a fascinating book and makes me think about how incredible it is to know that we are connected to everyone. He says, “Every single thing you do matters. You have been created as one of a kind. You have been created in order to make a difference. You have within you the power to change the world.” Click here to watch an inspiration movie of it along with more information about the book.
THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT IN ACTION
So here’s where I need your help to test out this butterfly effect theory. My husband and I have been selected as one of four finalists for a national marriage contest. We share in our five minute video the connectedness we felt when we first met and knew that we had “found the one.” The original inspiration for writing our love story was to share this “divine connection” with our three sons. Then our inspiration grew to inspiring others to show their love for each other by writing their own stories. Now my inspiration is to test out the butterfly effect theory with your help. Will what we did with our story matter to someone else in the world? Will our actions impact others who have never met us? Please take five minutes to watch our video and post a comment. I’ll check back with you in another blog to share what we found out. It’s a win-win by doing this; we all get to test out this spiritual law of connections and it’s a win for us if our love story gets the most comments!

I greatly appreciate being connected to you!

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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This past week my sister-in-law died. Nothing like a death to put things into perspective. I reminded my in-laws as they were worried about details of the funeral, ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’. After seeing their sister die, it was an easy message to get across. After that ordeal the type of flowers or coffin decoration really wasn’t that important. Does it take a death to put the small things into perspective?

What are you worried about these days that really in the end don’t matter that much? Are there things at work that generally annoy you but if you took a 10,000 foot view isn’t really that important? Would you worry about those things if you were lying on your death bed?

I heard an expression once about holding on to kindness and letting go of grudges. If you have grudges, annoyances, harsh judgements or built up resentment about people at your work- let them go. If you are still carrying memories about people who have done you wrong or made foolish decisions, travel lightly. Do you really want to be carrying that extra burden around with you every day? What could you do more of if you channeled your strength and extra energy towards acts of kindness? Let go of these small burdens and move in more peaceful ways. Walk lightly and carry only those things that serve you well.

Here’s a tip to figure out what you can release – for each resentment, negative judgement, complaint or grudge- ask yourself – how is it serving me? Do you want to stay in victim ‘ain’t it awful’ mindset or bring peace to your work and yourself? The choice is yours. Every day you wake up and go to work, you choose your attitude. What do you want to carry with you to work tomorrow morning?

I love this Buddhist story of the monks crossing the river. Two monks arrived at a river that was quickly rising. A young woman held on to a basket of clothing she was washing. She looked worried about getting to the other side with her wash. The older monk asked the woman if she needed help. When she replied yes, he quickly handed the clothing to the younger monk, picked the woman up as he stepped carefully across the rocks through the rushing water. He set the woman down on the other side and kept walking. The younger monk quickly followed with the clothes and left them with the woman without speaking or looking at her.

The two monks walked for over an hour in silence. The younger monk pondered repeatedly in his mind how the older monk talked to the woman. Didn’t that go against their vows of silence? What about his physical contact with women? The young monk couldn’t get the image out of his head as they walked, replaying the scene dozens of times in his head. Finally after nearly two hours of this constant stream of thoughts crashing through his mind, he stopped and asked the older monk – ‘master why did you pick up that woman?’

The older monk nodded in silence and replied. ‘I assisted the woman across the dangerous waters. Then I set her down. You have been carrying her ever since’.

As the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us – Peace is Every Step.

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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Many of you have probably heard the famous quote by Joseph Campbell to “follow your bliss.” So what is bliss? And how do you follow it, especially at work?

Ecstasy, paradise, heaven are a few of the synonyms used to describe bliss. I’ve heard bliss being described as the ultimate level or intense happiness. We all have had those moments of intense happiness when we feel true joy in all the cells of our body and being. When we are experiencing this blissful state we are fully alive and fully experiencing what makes us most happy. The challenge for many of us is being able to translate the feelings of bliss at work. How can we really do this?
Here is how I’m learning to do just that. If right now I had to put a face on bliss, it would be of my son, Garrett, who is 8 months old. He is pure bliss and emanates bliss from the inside out. Bliss is our natural state of being. It is what we are when we are born and what we can continue to access when we “just be it.” He teaches me how to follow bliss wherever I go pursuing whatever work is in front of me.
I’m learning how to get into the state of bliss more often while working. For me it’s easiest to do so late at night when it’s completely quiet while I’m inspired to write or create. I’m so present and in the moment that I don’t even realize that it’s 2am. I am completely just being and have become one with my work. It’s a blissful state. It’s like being what athletes might describe as the zone or experiencing the flow state.

Deepak Chopra in his book Creating Affluence: The A-Z Steps to a Richer Life, discusses the qualities of the unified field, the self – pure Being, which is the source of all abundance and affluence in the universe. He says that bliss is the most important quality of the unified field, which should not be confused with happiness. According to Chopra happiness is always for a reason. You are happy when you get something. But bliss is about being happy for no reason. “This bliss is where we come from; it is the nature of existence itself. In this state of pure bliss is the expression of pure love. It just radiates from you, like a light from a bonfire or dreams from a dreamer” And I would add like my son’s smile.

How are you following your bliss?

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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