Category: Improving Yourself

Are you your worst enemy? Are you holding yourself from moving up?

A Business Week article listed 20 of the most common behaviors or bad habits – complied by executive coach Marshall Goldsmith, that can hinder an aspiring manager or professional from moving up. Whether you’re a leader today or want to be one tomorrow, take heed.

Which of these apply to you? If you’re not sure, then ask others for feedback.

1. Winning too much. The need to win at all costs and in all situations—when it matters, when it doesn’t, and when it’s totally beside the point.
2. Adding too much value. The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion.
3. Passing judgment. The need to rate others and impose our standards on them.
4. Making destructive comments. The needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty.
5. Starting with “no,” “but,” or “however”. The overuse of these qualifiers, which secretly say to everyone, “i’m right. you’re wrong.”
6. Telling the world how smart we are. The need to show people we’re smarter than they think we are.
7. Speaking when angry. Using emotional volatility as a management tool.
8. Negativity. The need to share our negative thoughts, even when we weren’t asked.
9. Withholding information. The refusal to share information in order to maintain an advantage over others.
10. Failing to give proper recognition. The inability to praise and reward.
11. Claiming credit we don’t deserve . The most annoying way to overestimate our contribution to any success.
12. Making excuses. The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it.
13. Clinging to the pas. t The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset of blaming everyone else.
14. Playing favorites. Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly.
15. Refusing to express regret. The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we’re wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others.
16. Not listening. The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.
17. Failing to express gratitude. The most basic form of bad manners.
18. Punishing the messenger. The misguided need to attack the innocent, who are usually only trying to protect us.
19. Passing the buck The need to blame everyone but ourselves.
20. An excessive need to be “me”. Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they exemplify who we are.

Take Action:

Pick one behavior or bad habit you can change right now? What specific action can you take to make this change? What supports do you have or will need to succeed? What potential obstacles may get in the way? How will you deal with them?

Career Success Tip:

Most leaders fail not by a lack of skill or intelligence but by their interpersonal skills – how they deal with others. Also see Career Intelligence Part 1, What’s Your Career Success IQ? and 5 Career Killers for High Achievers.

Do you want to develop Career Smarts?

As I mentioned in my last post, I’m doing a series this year with posts from excerpts from my first book, “Path for Greatness: Work as Spiritual Service“.

Below is my framework from the 1st chapter for aligning your gifts, passion and purpose. Most people feel burned out, stressed out, bored, or frustrated when their talents and skills aren’t aligned with the work they are doing.

People need to feel they are utilizing their gifts and sharing them in a way that feels worthwhile. Most people get excited about making a positive impact with their work and for the world.

If your staff aren’t as motivated or engaged as you’d like, check to see if there is a good fit between their goals, skills, interests and passions with the work you are asking them to do.

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Personal spiritual greatness comes from having fertile soil (spiritual inspiration, values, and principles), firm roots (purpose), strong stem (passion), developed leaves (gifts), and sweet nectar (Service).

Your greatness of character, your authenticity, and your integrity blossom out in the magnificence of your being when these are in alignment.

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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“Like” Linda’s Fan Page – https://www.facebook.com/LindaJFerguson to get notices of these blog posts and other updates of Linda’s work.

BUY Linda’s 10^th Anniversary edition of “Path for Greatness: Work as Spiritual Service”. Share this as a gift for a colleague, friend or family member who desires to integrate their spiritual life and their work life.

Sign-Up on Linda’s website- www.lindajferguson.com for valuable tools to live and work from the heart- Transformational Empowerment _TM

You stay late at work, never miss deadlines, never show up late and your work is top notch. You’d think that by doing all of this, you would, at least once in a while, get thanks and recognition from your boss.

Unfortunately, your boss is busy dealing with a the latest crisis. As a result, she forgets to show any gratitude to you and the other high performers.

Working hard and getting ignored by your boss can be rough. That’s why you sometimes have to take matters into your own hands. Boasting of your own accomplishments can feel awkward. But look at it this way: If your boss doesn’t notice your hard work, and you don’t point it out to her, then how will she know you’re ready for that promotion or if you can handle that huge-but-fascinating project?

Things don’t have to be like that. Here’s how to build your reputation and get the recognition you deserve without looking like an attention seeker.

Step One: Decide What You Want

There are many types of recognition, so decide what type you want because everyone wants something different. Companies often thank staff with awards, certificates, or bonuses. However, people often just want simple thank you. So, what exactly are you looking for? Do you want a simple “thank you” or an employee of the month designation or a bonus or

Step Two: Define Why You Deserve Praise

Don’t walk into your boss’s office with no advance preparation to say what a great job you’ve been doing. Rather make a list of the accomplishments you’d like to discuss. Beside each one, list the value that accomplishment has brought to the company. Be sure to make yourself look good, but also share credit where credit is due.

Step Three: Praise Yourself and Others

This is where you’ve got to get creative. You know your boss and your business environment, so think of ways to let her know of your value. Point out some of your key accomplishments from the list you developed. Emphasize the importance of these accomplishments and how you and your co-workers could be recognized for this.

If this type of self promotion feels a little too much like bragging, then think of ways to let your boss know what you’re doing without being so obvious or bold. For example, send your boss an email every time you win a new account or when you’re finally able to please your company’s worst customer. These little “progress reports” keep your actions in the open in a delicate, not-too-obvious way.

Career Success Tip:

Although not everyone is comfortable talking about their accomplishments, you might harm yourself if you don’t speak up. If your boss doesn’t see the great work you’ve been doing, she might give that promotion or special project to someone else without knowing any better. It’s up to you to prove that you can handle the added responsibility and to do that, your boss has to know what you’ve already done. Also see My Success Portfolio and Build Your Reputation and Your Career.

Do you want to develop Career Smarts?

I decided to share excerpts of my first book, “Path for Greatness: Work as Spiritual Service” as a series for this year. I’ve shared this book with groups around the country and with professional associations to great reviews. I look forward to sharing the ideas from my book with you.

To a wonderful new year of exciting opportunities and positive changes.

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Excerpts from the Introduction – “Path for Greatness: Work as Spiritual Service”, pg 4-6

My purpose for doing this book comes from my desire to propose another way of working, a way that leaves people feeling fulfilled rather than empty, enriched rather than drained, affirmed rather than angry. We focus on growing spiritually during our daily work to live our personal greatness.

Like so many others, I have a strong yearning to bring my wholeness of being into alignment with my work. The task of writing this book has been a challenge for me to work spiritually, to keep open to guidance and inner clarity as I struggle to find the right words to put on the page. My process of living in the moment with my work – being both task-oriented and spiritually aware- provided me the experience of living what I was writing. ……..

When we understand that our life quest is to grow spiritually, we can live this quest through the myriad of experiences that allow us to be more compassionate and loving, anywhere and at any time we choose. This is the ultimate in living a spiritually great life. I invite you to enter the book from whatever point along your spiritual path you are.

………Words such as compassion, authenticity, awareness or trust may be easy to accept as workplace language, whereas words such as forgiveness, mindfulness, atonement, or love may be harder for some people to use at work. …… I use language from various faith traditions so that people will understand the universality of the concepts presented. I use stories from various faith traditions to show that working spiritually isn’t based on one belief system or connected to any single religious doctrine. It is important that people understand the distinction I make in chapter 4 between spirituality and religion. I hope to reclaim some traditionally “religious” words as universal human characteristics so they can be used at work and in organizations…………

You are invited to explore, to question, to experiment with the ideas in the hope that you will be able to experience your wholeness of being and connectedness with others as well as the Divine Spirit.

If you are reading this now, then you are ready to grown towards your greatness. If this book speaks to a truth inside of you, then you are ready to find ways to work spiritually.

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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

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“Like” Linda’s Fan Page – https://www.facebook.com/LindaJFerguson to get notices of these blog posts and other updates of Linda’s work.

Order Linda’s 10^th Anniversary edition of “Path for Greatness: Work as Spiritual Service”. Click HERE to order from Amazon

Share this as a gift for a colleague, friend or family member who desires to integrate their spiritual life and their work life.

Sign-Up on Linda’s website- www.lindajferguson.com for valuable tools to live and work from the heart- receive her Transformational Empowerment series.

How do you want 2013 to be different than 2012? Are you on track?

What usually happens is that we get all excited about changing something in our personal or professional lives. We truly want to change but then as I say “life and work intervenes”. We get busy with other commitments. And our hopes, dreams and goals get put on the back-burner. We say to ourselves, “let me just get through this crisis or project” and then I’ll get back to it – whatever it is.

What Are Your Career Goals for 2013 provided five strategies to achieve your goals whether you want to find a more satisfying job, make more money, get that promotions make a job change, push for that promotion or whatever. Here are an additional five strategies that actually get you moving and keep you moving towards what you want to achieve in 2013.

1. Stay forward-focused.

Too often we talk about what we don’t want but not about why we want it. We want to lose weight, quit smoking, stop procrastinating, etc. These are great goals. The problem is that unless we connect our goals to something is important to us, then we will likely not give it our full attention and commitment on a daily basis. So, for example, you want to quit procrastinating. OK, Why? Is it because you get stressed out and worry about getting it right and on time. You may have a boss who’s very detailed and expect things accurately and before the deadline. And you know that you want to be seen positively in her eyes because there’s an upcoming project you want to be the lead on.

So always connect your goals with the outcome you want and the importance of that outcome.

2. Take small daily actions.

So many good plans derail when we over-commit and under-deliver. To write a blog or a book, to lose 10 pounds or to stay ahead up to date on your tasks, then what can you do every day towards that goal. It could be setting aside 15 to 30 minutes every day to write or exercise, even if its walking around the block, or to create a to-do list first thing in the morning and setting aside “no interruption” time (s) to focus on these tasks.

3. Find an accountability partner.

This will supercharge your efforts. Daily or weekly check-ins have keep many high performing professionals and leaders moving ahead for years. The best example is the executive coach Marshall Goldsmith and his long term friend who have connected by phone every evening no matter where they were. They each asked each other key questions about their goals. It truly does “keep you honest” and motivated.

4. Don’t run away from the possibility of failing.

Fear of failure is the greatest single obstacle to success in life. But here’s the kicker, it’s not failure that holds us back – it’s the fear of failure -it’s the anticipation of failure. We may tell ourselves:: “If I do this and fail, I’ll look dumb; I’ll embarrass myself; I’ll disappoint; people will think I’m not competent or I’m a loser, etc.” So what? What’s the worst thing that can happen? Is it as bad as you think it would be? Check with others. We must look at failure as what it really is, a temporary setback and an opportunity to get it right the next time. Winners win more frequently than losers because they stay in the game.

5. Realize the power of optimism to bring about the changes you desire.

Visualize success, talk success, believe in your success. Expect success to happen. yes, challenges, disappointments, mistakes happen. The important things is to move on. Also stay away from negative people. If they’re not happy for themselves, they certainly can’t be happy for you.

Career Success Tip:

Success is more than working hard, being busy and burning a lot of energy. It’s a laser focus on what matters. So examine all your “to-do”s and pick the ones that count the most – the ones that can make a big difference in your life and career.

Do you want to develop Career Smarts?

The time is now to be the “best versions of ourselves,” as taught by author and speaker Matthew Kelly. We have one life on earth to live. I’ve always been passionate about living without regrets, so I was very inspired by Kelly’s audio presentation that we were listening to at our yearly WINGS (Women in Nourishing Groups for the Soul) retreat with my soul sisters, Sara Zittlow and Julie Wylie.

As your inspired life mentor, Janae Bower inspires YOU to live a balanced and purposeful life. She founded Finding IT and started Project GratOtude, a movement to increase gratitude in people’s lives.

Do you find yourself tongue tied or feeling awkward in “small talk” situations like networking events, cocktail hours or meeting where you know no one?

Most of us do – even extroverts like me. So don’t despair! Here are a few ninja skills to help you get over the “I don’t know what to say or do”.

1. Make the first move .
Hand out, smile on, greeting ready. When you make the first move, you create some energy and put yourself in a confident position. It takes a little practice if you are uncomfortable doing it, but if you get good at it, then you start the conversation stronger and it makes small talk a little easier.

2. Find common ground fast.
Common ground is some point of life intersection we seek with people we meet for the first time. Geography, education, hobbies, children, sport teams and many others make up the general opening topics of conversation. This is how we connect with people we do not know. If you have nothing in common, then don’t feel bad about it. They know it too. Make your gracious exit.

3. Make an impression, but don’t leave a mark.
If you let them speak 70% of the time, then you will be thought of as a courteous person good at conversation. The problem is people tend go to opposite ends of the spectrum of word volume when they are nervous — too much or too little. If you want to make an impression, strive for the middle through questions and comments.

4. Have three good questions at the ready.
You have probably heard that people like to talk about themselves. So instead of worrying about what you will say to others about yourself, focus instead on finding out about the other person or the people in the group. Here are three categories of questions that will activate a conversation.

• Conversation starters: “What do you do? What area of______do you work in? or What made you decide to come to this event or what did you think of the presentation?”
• Observations of change: Ask the person what changes they have seen in a particular area of business, sports, movies or some other topic over the past year. This creates a conversation rather than an interrogation with monosyllabic answers.
• Future predictions: Ask the person what they believe will happen in the next year in a particular topic. Sports is usually safe and politics usually is risky. But it really depends on the event and group. The point is to create dialogue and rapport – not disagreement or rancor.

5. Plan your exit.
At a lull in the conversation when it is clear that the topics are exhausted, decide if you want to continue the relationship. If not, put out your hand and say, “It was a pleasure spending a few moments with you, I hope to see you again soon.”Then you simply move on in the room to other people. Or if you do, conclude with what you’re going to do next such as “I‘ll send you the article we’ve been talking about” or “Let’s set up a time when we can get together to talk further.”

Career Success Tip:

In spite of seeming to have little useful purpose, small talk serves many functions. It helps develop positive relationships between friends, work colleagues and new acquaintances. It also paves the way before engaging in more functional topics of conversation with others. Therefore, having skills for small talk will give you more confidence and get you through the discomfort. Also see Smart Networking and What’s Your Communication IQ?

Do you want to develop Career Smarts?

She requested career coaching to help her start out right foot. Here are 5 questions I suggested to help her get to know the lay of the land and make a good first impression with her boss.

1. What are your expectations?
Get clarity on a number of things right from the beginning. It could include flexible or strict working hours, resources that will be provided, people you will be working with as well as your position tasks, responsibilities and authority.

2. What’ are the top priorities for my job?
Oftentimes, bosses assign employees more work than they realize. Asking him or her upfront what takes precedence makes your boss choose among the many projects you may have been assigned, This is important so you know how to budget your time. You want to know the top priorities and focus your time, energy and resources on these.

3. What are the department’s top priorities?
Figure out how to help him succeed in his job. If you understand what’s important to your boss, this will help you to meet and exceed his expectations. You also are striving, in the first weeks and months at your new job, to confirm that he made the right hiring choice

4. How will I and what will I be evaluated on?
It’s important to know how you and your boss will gauge your performance. You need to know what you’re working on matters and how your results will be measured. The more concrete information you have about performance expectations and outcomes, the greater the likelihood of meeting them.

5. How do you prefer to communicate and how often?
Realize that bosses, like most people, have different expectations in terms of frequency and method of communication. Does the boss want you to check in every day, every week or only when a specific project is happening? Does he want you to swing by unannounced, make an appointment, send an e-mail or call first?. So ask and adjust accordingly.

Career Success Tip:

Every boss is different and every company is different. Make sure you’re on the same page otherwise you’re in for a rude awakening . Therefore, when you first start a new job, always check your understanding and get feedback.

For example, after your boss has explained something to you, it’s beneficial to summarize what you’ve heard so that the boss knows what information you retained and can fill in the details where you may have missed something. You can say something like, “Let me see if I understand this correctly … am I missing anything? Also see Tips for Starting a New Job.

Do you want to develop Career Smarts?

This is the time for New Year’s resolutions – to set goals and to make changes in our personal or professional lives. Let’s focus your attention on your career for 2013.

Whether you want to find a more satisfying job, make more money, get that promotions make a job change, push for that promotion or whatever, here are five strategies to make it happen.

1. Look back before looking forward.
Ask yourself: Did my job build me up in 2012? In the best case, a job gives us more than money and a place to go during working hours. Did your job build your resume, your contacts and your confidence in 2012? If so, great! But don’t get too satisfied. Can your job develop you further? If not, what’s your next step?

2. Set goals that stretch and motivate you.
Write down three professional or personal goals for 2013 that can move or advance your career. If you can take one mini-step toward each goal this month (for instance, redoing your Linkedin Profile or redoing your resume you’ll feel as though you’re moving forward rather than standing still.

3. Realize that relationships are critical for career success.
The first of the year is great for networking. If you have let your network languish a bit, as many of us have, refresh it over the next 90 days! Write down the names of at least 10 people you want to connect with or catch up with. and then reach out to them. How well are you using social media?

4. Determine ‘brand you’ and sell it.
All too often, individuals don’t effectively market themselves when they’re searching for a new job or vying for a new position within their current company. Figure out what your strengths are, and exactly what you bring to the table. Do you have an elevator speech or “30-second commercial”? That’s a clear, succinct description of who you are and what you do (or are looking to do) should you meet someone who does not know you.

5. Create a game plan and stick to it
What do you want from a career in 2013? Do you want a job that will be a better fit for your skills, values and ambitions? Or will getting a certification or advanced degree make you more competitive? Or do you want to have less stress and more balance in your work life? Whatever it is, make sure you have clear action steps with metrics or benchmarks to keep you on track.

Career Success Tip:

Periodically evaluate the progress of your game plan. Ask yourself these key questions: Should I continue along this path? Alter it in some way? Or even move to a totally different path? Am I spending a sufficient amount of time dedicated to my career goals? Who can help me get to where I want to go?

Do you want to develop Career Smarts?