Category: Leadership Skills

Stop at the red and go on the green. Wait your turn. Treat others the way you would like to be treated. Certain timeless rules are better obeyed than broken. But are there certain rules that may need to be broken?

In today’s constantly changing business world, many of the rules that guided previous generations of managers may no longer apply, or at least, be as relevant.

“If you’re not breaking rules on a regular basis, your customers and markets are going to somebody else. So look, listen and change.”

That was said by a business client during a recent staff retreat. She wanted everyone to know that the task of managers can no longer be just seeing that things get done in a timely manner. They have to do more than that!

Is It Time To Get Rid of Business As Usual

Rather, effective managers today must be committed to do new things and do routine things in new ways. It comes down to breaking some long standing rules of managing people and organizations. Here are some examples.

Old rule: Strive to maintain the status quo, but react quickly when change happens.
New rule: Don’t wait for change to hit you. Anticipate it, plan for it, and make it happen on your terms.

Old rule: Management’s job is to make decisions.
New rule: Management’s job is to facilitate decisions made by those closest to the customer or the situation.

Old rule: Avoid conflict at all cost. People can’t handle it.
New rule: Create conditions that get people to grapple with different perspectives which will lead to better solutions and results.

Old rule: Tell employees what to do, when to do it and how to do it.
New rule: Give employees the resources and support they need. Then stand back and let them do their jobs.

Management Success Tip:

Letting go of rules that have served you well can be difficult, but holding on to them can be fatal. Don’t allow yourself or your people to get comfortable with the status quo. Don’t get stuck thinking that what’s made us successful so far will continue to make us successful in the future. Also see Make Positive Change By Thinking Outside the Box and Take Off Your Blinders

Are there some rules that need to be broken or at least modified? Which ones?

Do you want to develop your Management Smarts?

• Build your skills with The Effective Manager.
• Sign up for Quick Wins: 101 Management Tips.
• Find performance boosters in the Smart Moves Blog.
• Listen to The Business Edge Internet Radio for success tips.
• Copyright © 2013 Marcia Zidle business and leadership coach.

A reader asked for leadership advice on this situation.

“A new position, which will be a promotion, has just opened up in my business unit. It sounds very exciting even though I haven’t had much experience in that kind of responsibility. But I have a good track record and colleagues are urging me to go for it. I think I’m bright enough to take it on but I’m wondering is it too big a risk?”

Related: Taking Risks

The Peter Principle
It states that “in a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.” In other words, the cream rises until it sours. As long as a person performs well at his job, he will be promoted.

But sooner or later he reaches a level where he lacks the necessary skills to perform. The higher positions are not necessarily more difficult. The problem is simply that people are promoted based on the skills they have, not the skills they need

Virtually everyone, who has ever worked in a business environment, has recognized someone who seems lost, over his or her head or just plain inept. They have risen to their level of incompetence. Sometime they survive and sometimes they don’t.

Related: Watch Out For These Sand-traps

Look Before You Leap
So if you don’t have the appropriate background, skill sets or experience, you’re obviously going to have to be able to get up to speed fast to avoid the Peter Principle. Here are some things you need to consider before throwing your hat into the ring.

1. Would your boss be supportive or offended if you moved on?
2. What are your strengths and how can you leverage them for this position?
3. How much time would you have before you’re expected to perform at top speed?
4. What skills do you need to be successful in the position and where will you get them?
5. Will the person in that position train you or will you have to dive in and either sink or swim?
6. And most important, if you fail or don’t meet expectations, how might this affect your career?

These are just a few starter questions to help you assess the degree of career and leadership risk involved in going after this position. Find someone objective, like a mentor or coach, who can help you look honestly at the pros and cons. Then decide is it worth the time, effort and the stress of taking on this kind of challenge.

Management Success Tip

Be aware of Murphy’s Law. “If anything can go wrong, it will” helps remind us to plan for contingencies. Also remember, nothing is as easy as it looks; everything takes longer than expected; and every solution breeds new problems. Bottom line: be open to new opportunities as well as be realistic about the challenges. Check out It’s a New Ballgame and Are You a Coaster or Contributor?

Do you want to develop your Management Smarts?

• Build your skills with The Effective Manager.
• Sign up for Quick Wins: 101 Management Tips.
• Find performance boosters in the Smart Moves Blog.
• Listen to The Business Edge Internet Radio for success tips.
• Copyright © 2013 Marcia Zidle business and leadership coach.

While Richard Smith and I wrote CLICK: The Virtual Meetings Book, we received many questions on quick and easy ways meeting leaders can prepare for and begin virtual meetings on the right track. Here are 8 practical tips to help you prepare for and start virtual meetings to completely (yet easily) transform your meeting outcomes:

(You can get this checklist of 8 tips in a print-friendly version too – download it here.)

1. Distribute relevant information prior to the meeting – including the meeting objectives, agenda, specified time zones of start/end times, and ground rules.

2. Limit agenda items so that the entire call can be completed in two hours or less. If necessary, break the meeting into several
calls.

3. Ask participants to submit preliminary input and ideas before the meeting.

4. Request for multiple people at the same location to assemble together in a conference room or other suitable office/environment.

5. Create a list that shows the name and location of each person expected in the meeting.

6. Conduct a roll call. Ask each person to state his/her name and location.

7. Inform-excite-empower-involve in your opening words:

• Inform participants of the meeting purpose.
• Excite them about their participation by explaining the benefits.
• Empower them by letting them know the authority they’ve been given.
• Involve them by asking a Type B question that engages them. (Learn about the Type B question in The Effective Facilitator!)

8. Add any specific ground rules to assist with “remote meeting etiquette,” such as the following:

• Announce yourself when joining or leaving the meeting.
• Always identify yourself before speaking.
• Avoid using the “hold” button.

Want more tips like these? Here’s another free checklist – learn 6 additional tips on keeping your participants engaged in virtual meetings.

Happy Virtual Facilitating!

________________________

Certified Master Facilitator Michael Wilkinson is the CEO and Managing Director of Leadership Strategies, Inc., The Facilitation Company and author of The Secrets of Facilitation 2nd Edition, The Secrets to Masterful Meetings, and The Executive Guide to Facilitating Strategy. Leadership Strategies is a global leader in facilitation services, providing companies with dynamic professional facilitators who lead executive teams and task forces in areas like strategic planning, issue resolution, process improvement and others. The company is also a leading provider of facilitation training in the United States, having trained over 18,000 individuals.

Most leaders know it’s important to work with their team to define goals, but the conversation shouldn’t stop there. You also need to agree on the mechanics of how the team will get the work done. Here are four things that must be clear to every team member.

1. Roles and Responsibilities.
Every member needs to know their role or assignment on the team – what they’re responsible for doing. They also need to know how their work contributes to the overall work of the team. Of course, roles need to remain flexible. You don’t want people rigidly adhering to “my job” or exclaiming “not my job!” when others need help. Clarity as to who does what when lessens the common occurrence of things falling through the cracks.

Related: Getting Accountability

2. Work Processes.
Few teams need or should have a notebook full of policies and procedures. But every team needs common agreement about how it does its basic work. A good example is the way decisions are made. Who’s involved in making what decisions? What are the agreed-upon steps for evaluating alternatives and making a choice? Another is internal communication. How often will the team meet online or face-to-face? What is the purpose of the meetings? How will members keep each other informed — through what reports and discussions and how often? This is essential for effective teamwork.

Related: The Elephant Metaphor: Who’s Right?

3. Rules of Engagement.
These are the shared values, norms and expectations, sometimes called team culture, that shape the daily give-and-take of team members both live and online. They are the social glue that keeps interactions productive and prevents constructive disagreement from turning personal and dysfunctional. So what are the “rules of behavior” regarding lateness, dress, after hour activities, openness about disagreements, attendance at meetings and a whole host of other things that need to be explicit?

Related: On the Road to Abilene

4. Performance Metrics and Feedback.
What measures of progress, developed how, by whom, and how often, will be used to assess progress in meeting goals? How often will performance reviews of the team as a whole be performed? The advantage of clearly defining how progress will be measured is that members will be able to assess themselves. Your role as leader then becomes guiding the search for solutions rather than convincing members that a problem exists

Management Success Tip:

In the teams you lead, have you taken the time to sort out these things? As mundane as they may seem, it’s important to be explicit about them. Talk about them and write down the key ones. Don’t assume, especially as teams become increasingly virtual and cross-cultural, that the ones you want will emerge spontaneously. These are the often forgotten ingredients so essential for team success.

Do you want to develop your Management Smarts?

• Build your skills with The Effective Manager.
• Sign up for Quick Wins: 101 Management Tips.
• Find performance boosters in the Smart Moves Blog.
• Listen to The Business Edge Internet Radio for success tips.
• Copyright © 2013 Marcia Zidle business and leadership coach.

My career started a long time ago. A combination of luck, timing, and a few connections helped get started in a career I didn’t even know I would like at the time. It turned out to be a career that I loved and stayed with for over a decade. Along the way, I had successes and I made mistakes (some of them more than once.) And in that time, I learned so much. So much more than one could ever learn by hearing a lecture or reading a book.

It was during that period of my life that I learned a few very valuable lessons in business. One of the most valuable was a true understanding of the power and influence of a good leader on the success of the business. There were many lessons of this throughout those early years, but the most impactful was the moment I realized that my leadership style was the biggest obstacle to consistent success of my business.

For me, this realization didn’t come in one swift epiphany moment. Instead it was little episodes of learning that came from the frustrations of failure. Many of those failures came with inconsistencies in performance and results. Some financial, some operational, and some customer focused. But the one or two that really made me stop and self-reflect were the failures with people.

It was through those that I realized the issues weren’t because of them, they were because of me. At the time, I had a great leader of my own and was blessed with an organization that was committed to leadership development. And as luck would have it, my self-reflection coincided with a two-day leadership retreat where we spent hours discussing how to build results through others. I had heard much of this before, but that day I listened more intently and I took notes and I generated ideas.

When I got back to the store, I implemented a couple of those ideas. And I noticed a change. A change in my people and as a result changes in my results. On all levels. My store had always been a high performing store, but now we were the top performing store in a district of high performers. Then we started seeing regional and national rankings where we were at the top consistently.

And we celebrated. We as a team shared in this success. It was my behavior that needed to change so that their success could be realized. The success of that store wasn’t about me, it was about me getting out of their way.

So leaders, get out of their way. It’s not about you.

 

This blog is dedicated to all those people who were part of my early career at the gold and blue. Hopefully you had as much fun as I did and learned as much as well.

 

Sheri Mazurek is a training and human resource professional with over 16 years of management experience, and is skilled in all areas of employee management and human resource functions, with a specialty in learning and development. You can contact her via email smazurek0615@gmail.com

Follow me on twitter @Sherimaz.

 

Great leaders and entrepreneurs are not content merely to maintain the status quo. They are driven to see and seek out opportunities to make a big impact.

Peter Drucker said, “Results are obtained by exploiting opportunities, not by solving problems. All one can hope to get by solving problems is to restore normalcy.”

This is one of the primary differences between leaders and managers. Leaders lead. They go first. They begin the quest for a new order. They plunge into new, sometimes dangerous, and at times unpredictable territory .Managers, on the other hand, maintain the existing order. They organize, and establish necessary processes and controls.

Leaders as pioneers want to turn around a failing business or non-profit, or start up some new radical venture, or develop an original product line or service, or revolutionize an existing process. They want to mobilize others in the face of strong inertia or resistance. They may not change the world, but they passionately pursue making a significant difference

Here Are Ways to Start!

1. Treat every project, however big or small, as an adventure in an unexplored wilderness.
If leaders want to inspire the best in others, they must find or create opportunities for people to get fired up, tap into their great potential and not be fearful of difficult goals.

2. Question the status quo and confront ineffective sacred cows.
Obviously, some standard practices and policies are critical to the organization’s success. But many are simply “The way we’ve always done it”. Leaders, as pioneers, examine how work gets done and asks: “Is there a better way to do it?

3. Tap into the wisdom of your people and harvest new ideas.
Many times the people who have been doing something for years have conceived of new and better processes. But no one has ever asked them for their opinion!

4. Forget, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
It may work well, but can it work better? Especially in a new assignment, dumb questions are tolerated. This can lead to uncovering needed improvements and a fresh approach which can result in quantum leaps in organizational effectiveness.

5. Assign your best people to opportunities not to problems.
Naturally, problems must be dealt with, but opportunities are the life-blood of our organizations. Solving a problem contains and prevents damage, but seizing an opportunity produces growth and new life.

Management Success Tip:
So are you a pioneer? Here are some questions to help you find out.

• What makes something, for you, new, innovative and worthwhile doing?
• Think of a time that you or a leader you know challenged the status quo or sacred cows. What happened?
• When have you pushed your own limits to get extraordinary things done? What did you risk? What did you gain?
• In terms of leading others, what are some of the actions you’ve taken to create a climate for change and encourage risk-taking?

Do you want to develop your Management Smarts?

• Build your skills with The Effective Manager.
• Sign up for Quick Wins: 101 Management Tips.
• Find performance boosters in the Smart Moves Blog.
• Listen to The Business Edge Internet Radio for success tips.
• Copyright © 2013 Marcia Zidle business and leadership coach.

This post as a distillation from Chapter IV of my upcoming book: Unleashing the Power of Your Story

smashwords, Winter, 2013.

My last post focused on learning to see your current story. This entry is about creating a new one.

You Can Change your Story

Remember that we are exploring the story you have told yourself about your life experiences. You are not a victim here. You created the story, and you can change it. You can come to reframe it and see your story anew–as a source of grace and wisdom rather than as a one of hurt and constraint. You can also learn to modify the parts that hold you back, emphasize the parts that work, and create a new leadership story that is more aligned with your highest aspirations. This learning process may happen in a step-by-step fashion or more organically, but, either way, the elements of adopting a new story are the ones below.

Learn to See your Old story

Seeing your systemic story (previous post) helps you identify your patterns of behavior over time and the assumptions that support them. Usually we make these assumptions without even realizing we are doing so; they are implicit. For example, if your story is about not pushing back on authority figures, an underlying assumption is probably that such behavior will impact you negatively. Through story work, our implicit assumptions can become explicit and, therefore, more easily changed.

Ask yourself, “Do the behaviors, thoughts, feelings, and assumptions that comprise my story really fit my present day situation?” Often the answer is no. They may have been effective in the earlier situation(s) for which you developed them, but now they are not.

Once you see your story, alternatives become almost immediately apparent. In the example above, an alternative behavior is to speak your mind diplomatically in front of superiors, and a different assumption would be that so doing actually causes them to see you in a better light and respect you more

Identify how you want to be as a leader

At this point, you have a good picture of your systemic story, how it has contributed to patterns of behavior over time, how it plays out in present day high stakes situations, and what some other options may be.

Reflect on how you want to be as a leader. Picture yourself as being that leader. Then, identify specific behaviors, thoughts, and feelings that you want to be engaging in. Notice and adopt key assumptions that support these new ways of being.

Let’s say your story includes something like: “I never say no to new opportunities and challenges because I don’t want to be seen as inadequate.” As a result, you get overloaded and stressed. You have thought about a number of possible alternatives. The new story you choose is, “I say yes when I truly want to, I say no when that is called for, and I negotiate when I think appropriate. My life is in balance.” Then identify specific behaviors and assumptions that will support your new story, for example, the behavior of sometimes saying no to authority and the assumption that they, rather than thinking less of you, will respect you for standing up for yourself.

Undertake Behavioral Experiments

To bring your new story into being, identify specific behavioral experiments–situations in which you will try out your new behaviors and assumptions. For example, “In our upcoming budget meeting, I am going to state my position very clearly and not cave in when people question me.” Again, you might begin your experiments in situations that are lower risk and later try them in situations that are higher risk–holding your own in the budget meeting may be less risky for you than opposing your boss in a 1/1 stand off.

Pay attention to what comes up

Try your experiments and notice what comes up for you—what you think, what you feel, what you say to yourself. Chances are you will experience both some satisfaction at having done something new and some anxiety in having tried something unfamiliar. Affirm your feelings of satisfaction and notice the thoughts and feelings from the old story. Notice them but don’t get tangled up in them. Metaphorically step back from them, see them, and recognize that they are part of the normal mix of things but that you don’t have to let them be in control. Choose to act in ways that support what you want to create.

When you are trapped by your old story and engage in less than optimal responses, your story is in the driver’s seat. When you choose and practice a new story, your choice is in the driver’s seat.

Sustain the Changes

Finally, to create sustainable changes in your behavior, make aligned, supportive changes at three key levels of your life system. Shift your behavior (your face to face system). Modify how you think and feel—practice adjustments in your thinking and feeling (your internal system) that support the behavioral changes you have made. And lastly, create elements in your social environment (your larger social system—family, organization, and/or community) that also foster the new way of being e.g. modifying your job description with your boss, changing organizations, tapping into your professional support network.

Reflection and Practice

Set aside an hour to reflect on your current and desired leadership stories.

• Reflect on a recent leadership challenge that was high stakes for you. In your mind, put yourself into that situation. Notice what you were thinking (your self talk), what you were feeling, and what you did. Identify the assumptions you were making that lay under what you did. In all likelihood, you now have a pretty good version of your systemic story.
• Identify the kind of leader you want to be as you face future leadership challenges. Identify the thoughts, feelings and behaviors you want to exhibit. Identify new assumptions that support these new ways of behaving.
• Select 1-3 upcoming situations in which you will practice your new way of being as a leader.
• As you are trying new things out, notice what comes up for you. Notice your satisfaction. Also notice the voices that are trying to dissuade you from your new way of leading. Simply notice them, but don’t get enmeshed in them. Say to yourself, “that’s just my self talk. Those are just some of the things that come up, but I don’t have let them be in control.”
• Choose to engage in your new behaviors, notice the results you get, and notice your satisfaction at having successfully done something new.
• Continue with your experiments until the new ways of leading became a natural part of your way of being.

Steve is a senior executive coach and consultant. He has developed and successfully uses a powerful approach to leadership coaching, Creating your Leadership Story, which enables leaders to make deep, lasting improvements in their leadership effectiveness in short periods of time. He and a group of partners created a breakthrough educational program, Coaching from a Systems Perspective, in which you can significantly enhance your abilities as a systemic leadership coach.

If you would like to learn more about systemic approaches to leadership or story work, feel free to call or email Steve:

Steven P. Ober EdD

President: Chrysalis Executive Coaching & Consulting
Affiliate: Systems Perspectives, LLC
Office: PO Box 278, Oakham, MA 01068
Home: 278 Crocker Nye Rd., Oakham, MA 01068
O: 508.882.1025 M: 978.590.4219
Email: Steve@ChrysalisCoaching.org

Website: www.ChrysalisCoaching.org

Leadership Blog: https://staging.management.org/blogs/leadership

Need for Flexible Approaches to Action Learning

My hope is that Action Learning practitioners throughout the world will fully embrace the passion for discovery and active experimentation—the pillars on which our practice is built. Both are essential factors in adapting Action Learning to the evolving needs of our clients. My purpose as an Action Learning educator and practitioner is to encourage the importance of a flexible approach to the practice of Action Learning, and to suggest the need to adapt our practices to the evolving challenges and opportunities our clients are facing. This intention is at the heart of Action Learning Source—an organization I founded with Dr. Carter McNamara and Teri McNamara of Authenticity Consulting. (www.actionlearningsource.com)

The Importance of Learning in Survival

It goes without saying that that the global rate of change continues to accelerate. Reg Revans—a physicist at Cambridge University and the founder of Action Learning—observed that if organizations don’t learn faster than the rate of change, they will not survive. This chilling reality no doubt contributed to his approach to generating new knowledge—insights to supplement knowledge of experts. This new knowledge, in his concept, came from powerful questions asked by a small group of people dedicated to solve emerging challenges. Team members learned from their actions and took new actions based on their learning.

Learning from Experience

Revans, in effect, was one of the pioneers in experiential learning. We know from research that the vast majority of learning comes from experience—from actions we take. The second most important means is the coaching we get from managers, mentors, peers, and trained coaches. Action Learning combines both learning from experience and coaching into an intentional, disciplined, and repeatable problem-solving and learning method.

Unfortunately, research tells us that most people are only getting a fraction of the value of learning from their experiences. Our ability to leverage experience depends to a great extent on fostering “learning agility.” Mastering learning agility requires the development of what Dr. Steve Terrell calls “learning mindset” and “learning practices.” (www.aspireconsulting.net)

Understanding — and Cultivating — Mindset in Learning

Research by Dr. Carol Dweck and Dr. Steve Terrell has shown the benefit to leaders whose attitude or mindset toward learning embodies (a) a belief in their own learning and growth potential; (b) openness to experience; (c) motivation, willingness, and desire to learn; (d) curiosity about others and how they do what they do; (e) an attitude of discovery and exploration; and (f) the intention and willingness to gain something positive from experience. These leaders experience more growth and contribution to organizational success than leaders who do not have these attitudes toward learning.

The learning mindset facilitates the use of key practices that leverage learning from experience including (a) taking responsibility for your own learning and development; (b) approaching new assignments/opportunities with openness to experience and positive intention to learn; (c) seeking and using feedback; (d) developing a clear understanding of your strengths and areas for development; (e) asking great questions; (f) actively reflecting; (g) experimenting with new approaches; and (h) observing and learning from others.

Action Learning Accelerates the Development of Learning Mindset and Learning Practices

A learning mindset and learning practices are no strangers to experienced Action Learning practitioners; both are common outcomes for participants in Action Learning programs. So what is it that Action Learning does to increase the likelihood of learning from experience? If we look at the many approaches to Action Learning around the world, there are certain elements that are common to all that foster a learning mindset and learning practices. Action Learning is an intentional process in which a small, diverse group of people is committed to addressing a real challenge faced by at least one member of the group and learning from their experience together. They do this through the use of powerful questions to both frame and solve the challenge. The taking of action and the reflection on the action taken are integral parts of the process. In many cases, there is a facilitator or coach involved who guides the group’s search for clarity and learning; in some cases, the groups can be successful in self facilitating as well.

Many Factors to Consider When Customizing Action Learning

Major differences of approach arise in 4 key areas: (a) the role and participation of the coach/facilitator; (b) the specific ground rules that govern the process; (c) the level of diversity of the Action Learning team and (d) the use of specific learning and problem solving tools and techniques. For example, in some models, the Action Learning coach (or facilitator) is a very passive participant—intervening only to help the group gain clarity and to facilitate learning. In another model, the Action Learning coach is an active participant in the group. For another example, in one model, there is a very prescriptive set of steps taken with tools provided for each step. In another model, there is a very loose set of steps and minimal tools provided by the coach to facilitate addressing the challenge and learning. Here is a concise depiction of many of the parameters that must be considered when customizing Action Learning.

Success of Action Learning Starts Before Groups Meet

I have had the benefit of great mentors and colleagues including Dr. Mike Marquardt and Dr. Cindy Phillips. I have learned the hard way that a one-size-fits-all approach does not necessarily result in learning from experience. More recently I have partnered with Dr. Carter McNamara of Authenticity Consulting. Carter and his wife Teri, have opened my eyes to ways of thinking about Action Learning.

What I have learned is that the first principle of accelerating the impact of learning through experience is to tailor the process to the needs of the organization and the needs of the team. It sounds obvious, yet the underlying assumption that you have a flexible process that can be adapted is not true in many approaches to Action Learning. I have concluded that as much as 80 percent of the success of learning from experience in Action Learning comes from what is done to create the conditions of success before the very first team meeting.

—

Chuck Appleby, PhD, is founder of Appleby & Associates, and is a leadership and organization development consultant with over 30 years of management, consulting, and coaching experience in government, industry, and non-profits.

In a recent program on conflict resolution for the marketing department of a health care company, I asked the following.

1. Can you describe the conflicts that occur most often?
2. What could be possible reasons for these disagreements?
3. How these conflicts are usually resolved? Or they keep coming back?

As you would expect, this generated a lot of conversation. I had set the expectations of open discussion without finger pointing or blaming.

Conflict is Like an Iceberg
I use the idea of an iceberg to help people think about conflict in a positive, problem-solving way.

Above the water line are the “Symptoms” – for example: Forgetting – Chronic lateness – Dragging one’s feet – Not paying attention – Avoiding or ignoring requests – Rolling eyes, whispering, put-downs. Others than I’m sure you can come up with.

Below the water line are the “Real Causes” – here are six:

1. Perceptual Differences: Seeing things differently.
A common example is when two people can view the same event ( in a crime TV drama witnesses to a robbery) and have different perceptions (It was a tall guy with glasses; no it was short with a baseball cap, etc

2. Informational Differences: Having different facts or understanding.
The parable of the blind men and the elephant illustrates this. Briefly six blind men wanted to know what an elephant was like. Of course, being blind they had never seen one. So they went to find one and when they did, each touched a different part of the elephant. Of course, each had a different impression.

3. Procedural Differences: Having different ways of doing thing.
How do you start a puzzle? From number 1 and go systematically? Or start anywhere you can and work from there?

4. Goals Differences: Disagreeing about priorities and importance.
This happens between different functional groups. In many companies, sales and marketing is driven by quotas – getting more customers; production by quality – making sure it meets specific standards. The conflict arises when one group has expectations that don’t coincide with the other group.

5. Role Based Differences: Disagreeing about responsibility and accountability.
Who does what? It’s your job; not it’s yours; I make the decision; no I do. This happens a lot regarding line and staff authority; or corporate vs business units.

6. Personality Differences: Behaving and communicating in different ways.
Someone is a quick, shoot for the hip decision maker and the other is slower, more methodical. Or someone is task focused, and wants you to get to the point fast and the other is likes to talk about all kinds of things before getting down to business.

What Was Causing the Most Conflict?
It was role based differences. There was lack of clarity as to who’s accountable for monitoring deadlines as well as who has final authority on marketing collateral and a whole range of other issues.

What Was the Solution?
I introduced Steven Covey’s model and had them focus on what they could influence. There were several suggestions: taking responsibility to ask questions and verify client’s expectations; using less email for communication with other functional groups and more personal interaction; and to get clarification and support from management as to the department’s responsibilities and authority.

Management Success Tip:

Conflict is inherent in our differences—in people’s differing backgrounds, perspectives, values, needs, goals, expectations, etc. Conflict by itself is neither good nor bad. It’s the way we manage conflict that produces constructive or destructive results. What are the main conflicts in your organization, department or team? Also see Manage Conflict Before It Erupts

Do you want to develop your Management Smarts?

• Build your skills with The Effective Manager.
• Sign up for Quick Wins: 101 Management Tips.
• Find performance boosters in the Smart Moves Blog.
• Listen to The Business Edge Internet Radio for success tips.
• Copyright © 2013 Marcia Zidle business and leadership coach.

This post is a distillation from Chapter IV of Steve’s upcoming book: Unleashing the Power of Your Story

Smash Words, Fall/Winter, 2013.

Your Story at Play in your Leadership

Have you ever been in the middle of a leadership situation and felt, “I’ve been here before”? The content of the situation may be new, but nonetheless, the territory seems very familiar. Have you experienced a tough, high-pressure challenge that was important for you to deal with effectively, but you felt stuck? You may have experienced yourself trying the same things over and over again, each time trying a little harder, and each time feeling more stuck. Conversely, you have probably experienced leadership challenges that came out wonderfully despite huge problems; you performed to the max, your energy flowed naturally, and you were successful. You may or may not have known why things went so well, but you knew that they did, and you knew you felt great.

Experiences like those above are reflections of your deep systemic story at play in your leadership.

One of the most powerful ways to understand your leadership, to learn why you behave and lead as you do, and to discover ways of significantly increasing your effectiveness as a leader, is to understand your systemic story.

What is a Systemic Story?

Your systemic story is the story you have told yourself about your experience in systems, particularly the first system of which you were a part. It reflects how you learned to survive and operate in systems; for example, your story reflects how you learned to:

Relate to key players in your life system

Achieve Success

Get noticed, or avoid being noticed

Protect yourself and take risks

Respond to authority, and exert your own authority

Give and receive love

At its core, your systemic story is the internal narrative you have created about your experience of the human condition. As such, it is central to who you are as a human being, as a leader, as a coach, and as a consultant.

Seeing your Story

Sometimes, trying to see your own story without someone to reflect with is akin to trying to see your own face without a mirror. Working with your story requires the capacity to parallel process—to watch yourself doing what you are doing, the ability to reflect deeply and learn from that reflection, a great measure of patience, and practice, practice, practice. It also requires a framework to help you think about and understand your story. Hopefully, this material will provide you with the kind of framework and mirror that you need. Having a useful framework, deep self-reflection, and lots of practice can lead to powerful breakthroughs.

Reflection 1

In the journey of learning to see your own systemic story, start observing yourself. “Stand on your own shoulder”, “on the balcony”, and watch yourself in interactions.

Pay particular attention to how you handle challenging situations—what you think about them, how you feel about them, and what you do about them. Thinking, Feeling, and Acting (meaning, affect, and power) are the three fundamental components of your story.

Reflection 2

After doing the above a few times, continue practicing. Observe yourself doing what you are doing, particularly in important, high stakes situations. As David Kantor says, “learn to save 15% of your mind to observe yourself and let the other 85% deal with content.” Learn to pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in these situations.

To see your story even more clearly, ask yourself “What is my self talk about this situation? What am I telling myself about it?” Start to think about your self-talk, what you are telling yourself, as a story. Answer this question: “What is the story I am telling myself about this situation?”

Ask yourself “is this way of thinking, behaving, and feeling new for me, or have I done them before? Many people respond to this question with an answer like, “Oh, I’ve always done that; I’ve always been this way.” If something like that is your answer, you can be almost certain that you are beginning to see the plotline of your deep story.

As you practice observing and reflecting, you will find that your thoughts, feelings and behaviors do indeed fit into a storyline that reflects how you have learned to survive and succeed in systems.

Next: Creating a New Story

For many, seeing their story is a breakthrough. As Peter Block once said, “The first step to getting out of the cage you are in is to see the cage you are in.” People often feel a sense of release and start spontaneously thinking, feeling, and behaving differently; they start creating a new story. There are also specific things you can do to create and refine a new leadership story for yourself. Those steps will be the topic of my next post.

Steve is a senior executive coach and consultant. He has developed and successfully uses a powerful approach to leadership coaching, Creating your Leadership Story, which enables leaders to make deep, lasting improvements in their leadership effectiveness in short periods of time. He and a group of partners created a breakthrough educational program, Coaching from a Systems Perspective, in which you can significantly enhance your abilities as a systemic leadership coach.

If you would like to learn more about systemic approaches to leadership or story work, feel free to call or email Steve:

Steven P. Ober EdD

President: Chrysalis Executive Coaching & Consulting
Affiliate: Systems Perspectives, LLC
Office: PO Box 278, Oakham, MA 01068
Home: 278 Crocker Nye Rd., Oakham, MA 01068
O: 508.882.1025 M: 978.590.4219
Email: steven.p.ober@gmail.com
www.ChrysalisCoaching.org

Leadership Blog: https://staging.management.org/blogs/leadership