There is a lot of information written about motivation. New manager/leader training found in organizations and books everywhere has at least one course or chapter devoted to the topic of employee motivation. Located within the material, one will find lists of tips and tricks to keeping employees happy and motivated to meet performance objectives. There is another school of thought that believes it is not the manager’s responsibility to motivate employees or create the motivation for employees. Instead it is the responsibility of the manager to hire motivated employees and then act in such a way to keep them motivated and stay away from things that would de-motivate.

After many years of teaching motivation techniques to managers, I have come to the realization that the later is actually the way to go. In reality everyone is motivated by something different. People seek jobs that are a match for their needs. For some, that might be a job that provides training or skills in area of interest; for others, the perfect job will allow them to work flexible hours to meet the needs of their family while utilizing already developed skills. Regardless of the motivation to seek a job or the factors that keep one motivated on the job, the first step for a manager/leader who wants to maximize the discretionary effort of employees is to figure it out.

What do you do that de-motivates your team? Have you ever said, “Oh, he loves it when I do that?” assuming your actions are inspiring or motivating? Keep in mind, if you are the manager/leader you have the control in the situation and the employee is well aware of this fact. He might not actually love it.

What things do you leaders do that de-motivate you?

Your thoughts are welcomed and encouraged!

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For more resources, See the Human Resources library.

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In today’s turbulent landscape, change is multidimensional. Leaders must consider speed and scope of change, along with multiple forces buffeting organizations from all directions—new technologies, increasing difference, expanding markets, increased customer and employee expectations, fiscal meltdowns, political battles. Leaders and organizations respond quickly to remain sustainable in today’s unpredictable landscape.

The study of human systems dynamics teaches that sustainability requires a system to adapt to whatever it encounters, as it holds its mission and values. An organization’s ability to thrive depends on its adaptive capacity, requiring it to be

• Sensitive to changing patterns,
• Flexible in response, and
• Robust to withstand multiple challenges.

In our book, Dynamical Leadership: Building Adaptive Capacity for Uncertain Times, Kristine Quade and I offer a model of leadership built on assumptions about organizations as complex systems. While some of these may sound counter to traditional approaches, they express a worldview of human system dynamics that honors inherent complexity of organizations in the 21^st century and explain why adaptive capacity is crucial today.

Life is a tapestry of different textures and colors. The pattern becomes visible because of unique differences from one yarn to the next. Human interactions are similarly woven through life, play, and work. The messiness inherent to human systems makes sense to dynamical leaders, and they see the tapestry that is their organization.

As the beat goes on complex systems organize toward “fit.” Interactions among individuals are responses and counter-responses. One individual shifts, calling for adjustments by others, triggering reactions elsewhere. This balancing act is continuous and simultaneous, creating a system-wide rhythm as the beat to which dynamical leaders are specifically attuned. They know the beat continues as long as the organization is open and vibrant.

There is no “there” there as patterns emerge continuously, whether or not they are watched. A system doesn’t self-organize toward a single point that signals some arbitrary conclusion. Rather, the system’s goal is fitness in a constantly shifting environment, responding to demands, seeking new opportunities, and finding new vistas. Dynamical leaders expect this and don’t wait for it to settle down or stop changing. They value this “dance” between the organization and its environment as necessary to sustainability.

Coherence is as good as it gets when work aligns with values and people across the system respond in similar ways. Dynamical leaders recognize there is no “perfect state,” and sustainability cannot be judged against external measures. The most useful measure of sustainability reflects coherence among parts of the system.

Things will go “bump” as difference within a system creates tension when individuals collaborate, build trust, or acknowledge fear. Tensions also emerge as the organization “bumps” against its environment. The goal of adaptive capacity is not to eliminate tension; it is to understand sources of tension, learn to negotiate their impact, and move forward.

There is magic in fractals as some patterns reverberate throughout the system. When similar behavior is observed in leaders, groups, and individuals, it is a fractal pattern. Behavior of senior leaders may be replicated at various levels in multiple ways. To influence a fractal at one level leverages work at others, magnifying impact of an intervention, increasing adaptive capacity.

Power is abundant, and multiplies as it’s shared. In complex systems, power is the ability to influence, and is no longer associated only with position or title. Everyone can influence, and as they do, creativity and efficacy are unleashed. Sharing power is not about leaders abdicating responsibilities or accountabilities. It is honoring individuals’ abilities to contribute to overall performance.

We believe there’s no silver bullet for today’s complex leadership dilemmas. We also believe, however, there is a path leaders can take to:

• Increase ability to thrive in today’s turbulence,
• Support others in contributing to sustainability,
• Respond productively to shifting needs, and
• Step into powerful roles as dynamical leaders in a complex world.

Royce Holladay

Director, The Network

HSD Institute

rholladay@hsdinstitute.org

www.hsdnistitute.org

——————–

Steve Wolinski provides leadership development, organizational change and talent management services to numerous public, private and non-profit organizations.

Metaphors are powerful tools for your coach’s toolbox. A metaphor is defined as a figure of speech in which an implied comparison is made between two unlike things that actually have something in common. With few words, metaphors instantly convey a picture which captures the essence of what is being said. They are particularly effective to shift a thought pattern or evoke more clarity in a situation.

Metaphors take a little practice and are really fun when you start using them. Just trust your gut and blurt them out. They don’t need to be profound or make sense – your client will naturally modify it to fit their situation.

I had a coaching client that was feeling stressed and overwhelmed. I asked, “Your life is like a piano, what tune are you playing now?” Immediately she focused and realized she had control over her situation.

Here are some examples of metaphors that you may want to try:

• It sounds like you are stuck in the muck
• You are focused like a laser
• You’re jumping in the river and are going down the rapids
• Why not soar like an eagle?
• Your situation is like a marathon – take one step at a time
• Sounds like you hit a bull’s eye

What metaphors do you find effective?

For more resources, see the Library topic Personal and Professional Coaching.

Do you try to be perfect? Or do you try to be your best?

If you think about it, there is a vast difference between being perfect and being your best. Perfect infers being faultless or flawless – while best infers being finest or greatest.

It took me a long time to shift my thinking to realize that perfection isn’t possible. When I try to be perfect, I waste time and get bogged down with paralysis by analysis.

Instead, striving to be my best keeps me in motion. When I do my best, I am satisfied with my efforts because it is dependent on my own ideals.

As one of my coaching clients summed it up with this maxim, “Good, better, best. Never let it rest. Until your good is better and your better is your best.”

What do you think about “perfect or best”?

For more resources, see the Library topic Personal and Professional Coaching.

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Pam Solberg-Tapper MHSA, PCC – I spark savvy business leaders to fire up their cutting edge, be extraordinary and do great things for their world. How can I help you? Contact me at CoachPam@cpinternet.com ~ Linkedin ~ 218-340-3330

Three ways to understand yourself in systems

Events, Patterns, and, Structure

There are three ways to think about yourself and your behavior in complex systems. To increase your effectiveness as a leader, it is useful to understand all three and how they interconnect. You can understand yourself in systems through the lens of Events, through the lens of Patterns, and/or through the lens of Structure.

When you look at yourself in systems at the Event level, you can answer the question, “What just happened?” For a leader looking at her own performance, an event is a particular leadership incident and how she handles it.

When you look at yourself through the lens of Patterns, you can answer the question, “What’s been happening?” As a leader, you can learn to see your patterns of behavior over time in response to significant leadership challenges.

When you look at yourself through the lens of Structure, you can answer the question, “What is the cause?” What is the root cause of my behaving in repetitive ways in response to difficult challenges?

How you as a leader respond to one high stakes, particularly difficult leadership situation represents an event in your life as a leader. When you notice that you have reacted in very similar ways before in other high stakes situations, you are seeing your patterns of behavior.

When you see particular events, and a repeating pattern in your leadership behavior, you can find the root cause, the underlying structure that shapes your reactions, in your deep systemic story. Your deep systemic story is the place from which your entrenched patterns of behavior emerge. That deep story is the narrative—with discernible plot-line and character structure—you have created about your experience in systems.

Your leverage for change increases as you understand events, then patterns, and then structure. At the event level, you may change your reaction so that the outcome of a particular situation is a bit more desirable. As the pattern level, you can work on changing your patterns of behavior over time. At the structural level, the level of story, you can shift your underlying assumptions, change how you see yourself as a person and as a leader in the world, and make deeper, long-lasting changes. You can learn to transform your story and, thereby, transform your leadership.

Examples

Here are some examples of Events, Patterns, and Structure from people I have worked with. As I mentioned in the last post, I have kept the essence of these examples true to the stories; I have fictionalized them so that the sources remain anonymous.

Coaching Employees who aren’t Committed

Event: A marketing company executive started coaching four of her employees. She experienced two of them as fast, bright, and motivated, and the other two as slow, not as bright, and not very motivated. She was still coaching the two motivated employees but had stopped working with the other two.

Pattern: In further conversation, the executive stated that this was not a new behavior for. She said, “Oh, I’ve always done this. I always stop working with the people who aren’t fast, smart and motivated. I don’t know what causes me to do it, but I always do.”

Structure: The executive asked to explore her pattern of behavior at the story level. She saw the connection almost immediately. Her father was a very successful, well-known person in his field. When he worked with her and her sister, he experienced her as quick, bright, and motivated. He experienced her sister as slow, not as bright, and not as motivated, and he stopped working with the sister.

This executive saw that her assumptions and behavior were exactly the same as her father’s assumptions and behavior toward her sister. “Because I experienced them as slow, I have been assuming, without even realizing it, that they were not as bright and not as motivated.” She immediately explored other possible assumptions and changed her behavior. She created a new story in which she worked successfully with all her reports.. Now she is coaching all of them.

Deep Ambivalence about New Challenges

Event: I recently got very happy and excited about a big new project at work. The opportunity to take on something big energized me. Then, a sense foreboding came over me—I had a deep fear that I would do something to make the project go wrong.

Pattern: Over my career, it seems that every time I am have a significant new opportunity, I first get excited about it and then experience a deep sense of dread.

Structure: My father’s musician colleague, Bill, came by to visit. He had just returned from a trip to New York where he had purchased a hot new jazz album for my dad. I came out to say hello to Uncle Bill. In my excitement I ran into the room, jumped up on the couch, and broke the record Bill had given Dad. I felt horrible. I had greatly displeased my Dad, my hero; he was disappointed that I broke something he valued. I learned to fear that I would mess up things I get I get excited about.

Needing Affirmation to Feel Good

Event: In Q1 I felt great. My group and I were at the top of our game. We were exceeding all our numbers and getting rave reviews from the organization. Now, here we are in Q2 with a big slowdown, and we don’t hear anything from anyone. I feel terrible about myself and very guilty about not achieving.

Pattern: For as long as I can remember, I have felt great when I was accomplishing great things and getting recognition for it. Then, even a short time later, when I am not achieving the best and getting praise, I feel terrible. I’ve wondered for years why I need recognition to feel good about myself.

Structure: My father is a very bright, but reserved, intellectual. He relates to other people, including me, almost solely on the head level. As his son, I learned I could get his attention by doing great things like making perfect grades, which I did. My father noticed me and gave me lots of praise for my achievements, but he never praised me for just being an all around good guy.

What you can do

If you want to understand and enhance your leadership capabilities, pay attention to important events and how you handle them—what you think, what you feel, what you do.

Then, look at your patterns of behavior over time. What responses have you tended to repeat when reacting to challenging events?

Then, ask yourself, how/when did I experience these feelings, thoughts, and behaviors in my first system? How did I learn to respond in this way? What is the story I am telling myself about these significant experiences? What implicit assumptions am I making that support this story? What are my feelings? My behaviors?

Then ask, what are other assumptions, feelings, and behaviors that would better fit my current leadership challenges?

If you can answer the above questions clearly, you are learning to see your leadership story and create a new one.

Future Posts

In ensuing posts, we will look at broader, archetypal cultural stories, why we create them, and how they shed light on our own leadership stories. Then we will summarize the process, the steps, the key questions you need to answer to see your systemic story and, if desired, to change it. Finally, we will examine the underlying transformation that often occurs when a leader truly sees her deep story and begins to create a new one.

Good journey, and to be continued….

——————

If you would like to learn more about story work and/or consider story coaching, feel free to call or email me at:

Steven P. Ober EdD
President: Chrysalis Executive Coaching & Consulting
Partner: Systems Perspectives, LLC
Office: PO Box 278, Oakham, MA 01068
Home: 278 Crocker Nye Rd., Oakham, MA 01068
O: 508.882.1025 M: 978.590.4219
Email: Steve@ChrysalisCoaching.org
www.ChrysalisCoaching.org

Steve is a senior executive coach and consultant. He has developed and successfully uses a powerful approach to leadership coaching, Creating your Leadership Story, which enables leaders to make deep, lasting improvements in their leadership effectiveness in short periods of time. He and a group of partners have created a breakthrough educational program, Coaching from a Systems Perspective, in which you can significantly enhance your abilities as a systemic leadership coach. See http://SystemsPerspectivesLLC.com.

Imagine this scenario…

The charismatic founder of a small (but influential) nonprofit resigns suddenly and moves across the ocean, leaving the organization in turmoil.

Stepping in quickly to clean up the mess, the Board promotes Douglas from Deputy Director to Acting ED.

Douglas has been in his new position for a month when the Board “strongly advises” him to assume all fiscal and administrative responsibilities of the organization – removing those duties from the portfolio of a senior staff member. Douglas knows that his direct report will not let go without a fight. But he pushes that knowledge out of his mind and begins to make plans for the change.

Douglas asks his Civic Leadership Coach to help him identify the steps for moving administrative responsibilities from one desk to another.

Making the Adaptive Leadership Mind-Shift

Adaptive Leadership Theory says that with “technical work” the problem is clear (The wrong person has responsibility for finances in Douglas’s organization) and the person in authority (Douglas) needs to optimize executive of the solution (Rewrite the job descriptions and act accordingly).

Douglas’s Coach recognizes that he is thinking of the situation as a “Technical Problem.” She encourages him to consider “Adaptive” interpretations.

Leading Adaptively Means Moving Beyond Default Interpretations

Pushing against Douglas’s default interpretation (“The senior staff member is creating problems, and leadership requires that I get him to see things the board’s way”), the Coach’s questions help Douglas shift his perspective of the problem from “technical and individual” to “adaptive and systemic.” Douglas recognizes the great degree to which the organization has been knocked out of balance by the founder’s untimely exit. He acknowledges the high levels of distress and the conflicting values that have led to stonewalling by the senior staff member, and to less obvious signals of distress from other members of both staff and board. Realizing the systemic (adaptive) nature of the challenge he is facing, Douglas acknowledges that the temperature in the organizational system has become too hot for most people to handle. He and his Coach consider ways to turn down the heat just enough to allow people to see the situation clearly.

Adaptive Leadership Requires Smart-Risks and Experimentation

By the end of the coaching session, Douglas understands that his major leadership challenge will be helping everyone identify and accept their piece of the adaptive work of creating a strong, post-founder organization. He resolves to experiment, that very afternoon, by initiating conversation with the staff about their loss, hurt, and grief related to the founders’ departure.

~ Guest blogger Julia Fabris McBride is the Coaching Project Director at the Kansas Leadership Center. Visit her online at www.CoachJulia.com.

The strength of your relationships is critical to your professional success. My coaching clients find value in Relationship Maps, a tool to help them cultivate and enhance important relationships. The Relationship Map serves as a dynamic visual representation to assess relationship gaps.

You can create your map by placing your name in a box in the middle of a blank sheet of paper. Add boxes around yours and label them with the names of people, companies, customers, vendors, associations, etc. that that are important to your success. These could be people or entities that you do not know yet but should be part of your circle of influence. Draw straight line links between yourself and the person/entity to represent your relationship with them.

Ask yourself the following questions:

• What do I need to do to start relationships that are important but not yet in place?
• What do I need to do to strengthen existing relationships?
• Are expectations clear between us?
• How will I benefit from them and how will they benefit from me?

For more resources, see the Library topic Personal and Professional Coaching.

Premises that Shape Leadership Story Work

Stories and Story Work

This post is the third in a series about a breakthrough Leadership Coaching approach: Creating your Leadership Story. I have suggested that one of the most powerful ways for leaders to see how you lead, understand the reasons you lead as you do, and make significant improvements in your leadership effectiveness, is through understanding and learning to work with your deep systemic story. In the first two posts, I described the territory of stories and story work, outlined some of the key ideas that underlie the approach, and suggested ways you can begin to see your own story. In this post, I will describe the premises, or working hypotheses, that shape story coaching and mention how these premises can help guide you on your journey.

Premises Underlying Story Work

1. We each have a few core, systemic stories.

Your stories are deeply held, because you have been creating and living them out for a long time. They have identifiable plot lines and character structures, including the roles you tend to play. They are fully systemic in nature. Your core stories are systemic in that they reflect how you have learned to operate, survive, and be successful in systems. They are systemic in that they are about your relationships and interactions with other systems—key individuals, groups, and communities–and with other key forces at play in your life. One colleague suggested that we call them relationship stories.

2. We formed the basic structure of our stories—plot lines, character structure, and roles we tend to play—in the first system of which we were a part.

In that first system, which for most of you was your original family, you learned who you are, how to be, and how to behave in systems. Certainly, over your life you have, by living, embellished and expanded your story. But, you created the core plotline during your early experiences, and that core tends to remain relatively intact unless you do specific work to modify it.

3. Our systemic stories have a significant impact on our behavior in the present, especially as the stakes go up.

Your stories are not just about the past. They are part of who you are, today. (See last weeks post about reframing our model of time.) They form the lenses through which you see and interact with your world. And, the higher the stakes are for you, the more likely your systemic stories are to become engaged and play themselves out in your present day thoughts, feelings, and behavior.

Your stories are always operating to some degree. But, when the stakes are high, you tend to experience their impact much more clearly. Sometimes, in very high stakes situations, you may feel almost compelled to behave in certain ways, even though on some level you know those behaviors won’t get the results you want.

Usually, when you have this kind of experience, your deep systemic story has become fully engaged and is, metaphorically, “telling” you how to behave in order to protect yourself and deal effectively with real or imagined risks in situations you experience as high stakes.

4. Seeing your systemic story, being aware of how it influences your leadership behavior, and learning to work with it, is very high leverage for you as a leader.

You hold your stories very deeply, and you are sometimes so close to them that you can’t see them (like trying to see your own face without a mirror). But your deep stories do not have to be permanently embedded, invisible cages. In fact, they can become sources of energy and growth. You can learn to see your stories and how they both help and constrain you. As Peter Block once said, “The first step in getting out of the cage you are in is to see the cage you are in.”

And, you can learn to reframe your stories, see them anew, and use them as a source of wisdom about living in a complex world. Remember that these are the stories you have told yourself about your experiences, not just things that have happened to you. (See last week’s post about how we create our individual and social reality.) You are not a victim here. If you created the stories, you can change them. It is a learnable skill to see your story and reframe it–see it anew, as a source of grace, strength, forgiveness and wisdom rather than as a source of hurt and constraint. Then. you can modify the parts that hold you back and create a new leadership story that is more aligned with desired results and higher leadership performance.

Where do we go from here?

What you can do:

In earlier posts, I have suggested that you

• Practice observing yourself doing what you are doing, particularly in important, high stakes situations. As David Kantor says, “learn to use 15% of your mind to observe yourself and let the other 85% deal with content.”
• Learn to pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in these situations.
• Then, ask yourself, “What is the story I am telling myself about this situation?” Notice the storyline that tends to emerge

Now, add to the above:

• Ask “is this way of thinking, behaving, and feeling a new experience for me, or have I experienced it before? Most people respond to this question with an answer like, “Oh, I’ve always done that; I’ve always been this way.” If that is your answer, you can be almost certain that you are beginning to see the plotline of your deep story.

Next Post

As I have written these posts, I realize that I have talked mostly about the model, the ideas, and the frameworks we use in story work. I have not provided real examples of people’s stories, how the stories impact them, and how people have learned to see, reframe and change their stories. Providing examples is difficult to do without violating confidentiality, because most of the examples are from people I have worked with. In the next post, I will try to accomplish both—provide a few examples that stay true to the essence of the stories and also preserve confidentiality by fictionalizing the examples so that their sources remain anonymous.

Good journey, and to be continued….

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If you would like to learn more about story work and/or consider story coaching, feel free to call or email me at:

Steven P. Ober EdD
President: Chrysalis Executive Coaching & Consulting
Partner: Systems Perspectives, LLC
Office: PO Box 278, Oakham, MA 01068
Home: 278 Crocker Nye Rd., Oakham, MA 01068
O: 508.882.1025 M: 978.590.4219
Email: Steve@ChrysalisCoaching.org
www.ChrysalisCoaching.org http://SystemsPerspectivesLLC.com

Steve is a senior executive coach and consultant. He has developed and successfully uses a powerful approach to leadership coaching, Creating your Leadership Story, which enables leaders to make deep, lasting improvements in their leadership effectives in short periods of time.

Coaching is about change. Clients are attracted to coaching because of the emphasis on taking action and being held accountable. They may be competent and successful in many areas of their lives, but there is a situation where they can’t seem to make the changes they desire on their own. The coach enhances motivation, action and compliance by asking: “What will you do? By when? How will you let me know you did it?”

In addition to forwarding action, the coach helps the client deepen their learning about themselves and their circumstances. Clients learn from the actions they take or don’t take. The coach will ask questions such as: “What did you learn about yourself from this situation? What would you do differently next time? How can you apply this insight to other areas of your life?”

With forward action, there is movement, results and accomplishments. With learning there is self awareness, self reliance and insight. If the coach only forwards the action, the client will get burned out. If the coach only deepens the learning, there is nothing concrete for the client to act upon. Working together action and learning creates a successful coaching experience.

In what ways do you forward action and deepen your learning?

For more resources, see the Library topic Personal and Professional Coaching.

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Pam Solberg-Tapper MHSA, PCC – I spark savvy business leaders to fire up their cutting edge, be extraordinary and do great things for their world. How can I help you? Contact me at CoachPam@cpinternet.com ~ Linkedin ~ 218-340-3330

Key Ideas Underlying Story Work

“There is nothing so practical as a good theory.” Kurt Lewin

In last week’s post, I suggested that one of the most powerful ways to understand yourself as a leader and as a human being, and to align your energy to create the results you want in life, is to understand your systemic story. I defined systemic story as the story you have told yourself about your experience in systems–your internal narrative about your experience of the human condition.

Key Ideas

Today, I will outline a few of the key ideas that underlie this approach to stories. These ideas fall into two groups

• Ideas about how we create our social reality: Social Constructionism, Symbolic Interactionism, and the Ladder of Inference
• Ideas about how we experience time, the past, and the present: Reframing our Model of Time

Social Constructionism, Symbolic Interactionism, and the Ladder of Inference

Social Constructionism

Story work is based on Social Constructionism, which suggests that we largely, some would even say wholly, construct our individual and social reality through the internal narratives (stories) we tell ourselves about our experiences. What is our individual and social reality? Is it something objective and “out there”, or is it something we create? Is it what actually happens to us or is it our interpretation of what happens to us? And what is our past—what occurred, or our memory, our stories, our internal narrative about what occurred? Social consructionism suggests that, in terms of our experienced past, and in terms of what most influences our behavior, the stories we have told ourselves about our past, and the ones we tell ourselves about what happens today, are more real than what “actually happened.”

Symbolic Interactionism

To put it another way, we are not simply stimulus-response creatures. We are stimulus-interpretation-response creatures. This idea is sometimes referred to as symbolic interactionism. We are meaning making creatures. Our experience of reality and our response to it has as much or more to do with our interpretation of events (stimuli), and the meaning we give to them, as it does with the events themselves.

The Ladder of Inference

As Chris Argyris’ Ladder of Inference suggests, we are bombarded by stimuli, by things happening all around us. Instantaneously, we screen out some of the stimuli and take in some of it, because we can’t effectively process everything. Next, we add meaning to, make interpretations of, make attributions about what we have taken in. Then, we reach a conclusion and decide what to do. Most often our conclusions and actions are several steps removed from the actual data—they are based more on the meaning we have added to the data than on the events, data, and stimuli themselves.

Putting the Ideas Together

Where do our screening frameworks, interpretations, ascribed meanings, and attributions come from? Social Constructionism suggests that they come from our internal narrative–from our stories. Put another way, our interpretations of events, and the meaning we give to them, are as much information about ourselves and about our stories as they are information about what actually occurred. So, if you want to learn something about your inner self, pay attention to how you interpret difficult situations.

In the last post, I suggested that you begin learning your story by noticing how you handle situations, particularly tough and challenging ones. Now, go another level and pay attention to what you are telling yourself about those situations and what you are telling yourself they mean. Ask yourself, “What is the story I am telling myself about this situation?” What you are telling yourself, particularly in very challenging, high stakes situations is a window into your systemic story.

Reframing how we think about time

Secondly, story work reflects a different model of time. How we think about and experience time is really shaped by our mental model of time, or our theory of time, not just by the “objective reality” we call time. As Charlie Kiefer would say, the way we experience time is “between our ears”, that is, our experience of time is a function of the way we think about time.

We usually talk and think about time using a linear model—the past, and our past experiences, were a long time ago, we are very distant from them now, and we will get more and more distant from them as “time passes.” We think about a linear sequence of events that makes up our lives to this point. We talk about timelines—straight lines depicting the passage time from one point to another.

A different and more systemic way to think about time and our past is that they are like rings in a tree. We start with a core and grow around it; we build on what we experience rather than moving away from it.* Key experiences, and the stories we have created about them, are always with us—they are very much a part of our present. They are, in a very real sense, as much a part of the present as an event that is happening right now, because we are experiencing and interpreting today’s event through lenses we have created—through the lenses of our stories. Like Jesus said about the poor, “our stories we always have with us.” They are part of what makes us who we are. Perhaps people who say, “we deal with the present, not the past” or, “We don’t talk about the past” are drawing a false dichotomy. Our life experiences are part of one organic, systemic whole rather than being “what was in the past // what is in the present.”

*I learned this model of time in a conversation with Paul Bennett, author of the powerful book Loving Grief.

Next Steps

So, in the journey of learning to see your own systemic story, pay attention to how you handle challenging situations—what you think about them, how you feel about them, and what you do about them. Then, ask yourself “What is the story I am telling myself about this situation?” As you practice observing and reflecting, you will find that your thoughts, feelings and behaviors do indeed fit into a storyline that reflects how you have learned to survive and succeed in systems.

In our next post, we will talk about the premises, or working hypotheses, that shape story work; they will help you see how you created your story, how it plays out in your work and life, and how you can make desired changes.

To be continued….

———————————————–

If you would like to learn more about story work and/or consider story coaching, feel free to call or email me at:

Steven P. Ober EdD
President: Chrysalis Executive Coaching & Consulting
Partner: Systems Perspectives, LLC
Office: PO Box 278, Oakham, MA 01068
Home: 278 Crocker Nye Rd., Oakham, MA 01068
O: 508.882.1025 M: 978.590.4219
Email: Steve@ChrysalisCoaching.org
www.ChrysalisCoaching.org http://SystemsPerspectivesLLC.com

Steve is a senior executive coach and consultant. He has developed and successfully uses a powerful approach to leadership coaching, Creating your Leadership Story, which enables leaders to make deep, lasting improvements in their leadership effectives in short periods of time.