Coaching Tip – A Different Way to View Work-Life Balance

Young professional struggling with balancing work and life

Many of my coaching clients struggle to maintain work-life balance. With all of their family and work demands they feel out of equilibrium.

One client shared this metaphor about balance that I trust will help you look at your work-life balance in a different way.

She views life balance as a teeter totter – one end being work and the other end being family. She strives to keep the teeter totter level, yet it rarely happens that way. Sometimes she’s more tipped towards work and sometimes she’s more tipped more towards family. In the end, however they balance each other out.

Work-life balance is a dynamic system of movement – moving away from balance and then back towards it – it is rarely a steady state.

What do you think?

For more resources, see the Library topic Personal and Professional Coaching.

The Politically Incorrect Guide to Donors

The donor pool can be (and has been!) sliced and diced in a variety of ways. My preferred method of grouping donors is by motivation:

The” Social Donor” uses charitable contributions to attract personal visibility and social prestige. Although no one admits is, there are plenty of major gift donors who engage in philanthropy as an expression of their own vanity.

The “Quid Pro Quo Giver” sees donations as a form of “social currency” between business and social peers – “I’ll give to yours (and I’ll expect you to give to mine when I ask).”

The “Social Conscience Supporter” gives to one or more organizations because they truly or deeply believe in the urgency or importance of a nonprofit’s mission.

The true “Philanthropist” carefully invests wealth in the nonprofit sector — specifically and deliberately — in order to benefit the general good of mankind, and to effect positive, substantive change in the world.

Before you ask someone for a gift, examine what their motivation might be. If what they want is access to movers and shakers on the A list, it really won’t matter how many baby whales you could save with their gift.

Another way of identifying donor groups is by the level and type of involvement they are likely to desire with the charities they support. Here again, we can crudely classify them in the following four categories:

The “Traditionalist” is likely to be over the age of 60, and once the gift is made, is not prone to becoming involved in a very “hands on” fashion with the charity.

The “Pre- and Young Boomer” generation (age range of about 35 to 50) lived through the dotcom bust. Some would argue that dotcoms went bust because the ‘younguns’ who created and ran the start-ups thought they had all the business answers – although many had never been exposed to business. These folks are the ones who want to see nonprofits run “like businesses” and want to be actively involved in tightening operations at the charities they support. Unfortunately, many have never had any experience with or in nonprofits before – but that won’t stop them from telling you how to run your “business.”

The “Revolutionary” wants to re-form the relationship between the philanthropic sector and the global economic system, investing funds – literally – to create hybrid solutions to make change in the world more efficiently and effectively. Their approach takes a variety of forms, ranging from social ventures, to social entrepreneurship or philanthropreneurship, to the latest – philanthrocapitalism. This group is focused primarily on systems change, and may or may not be actively involved in working with “boots on the ground” charities. They will want to see some innovation in your organization’s revenue model, as well as scaleability.

The “Tweeters” are in their late teens, 20’s and early 30’s. They don’t necessarily have a lot of money (or any money) to give, but are energetic, bright, and have been steeped in a culture of voluntarism and service to humanity. They spend their time communicating via social media and tend to see the universe globally rather than locally. They are more likely to organize a tweet-up or twitter group for individuals seeking to support third-world women in establishing economic independence than to volunteer at the local domestic violence shelter. They want to understand how your work connects to a global injustice, and if you can show them, they will bring enthusiasm and energy to your nonprofit. Once the school loans are paid, they’ll be in a position to contribute money as well.

Gross generalizations? Absolutely! But having some benchmarks by which you can approximate a donor’s motivation – and understand how they will assess and interact with your organization – can minimize both the miscommunication and misunderstandings fostered by “one size fits all” cultivation.

Farewell, and fare well until next week …

——————

For more resources, see our Library topic Nonprofit Capacity Building.

——————

Information vs. Knowledge vs. Wisdom

Gray study dice on the table

I attended a program a few months ago by a professor sharing his latest research on virtual learning. He shared a fascinating application of technology for creating more enriched learning experiences for students. One comment he made really struck me. The project he had designed was for students to work in pairs to determine the flora and fauna of a region and howthey could be used for medicine. He showed them how to geomap the area and download information from the web to determine what would be useful for a hypothetical disease. He said the kids were so fascinated by the web and hand held device that they completely walked past the tree they were suppose to look at. Yes the kids were engaged in the task, but not looking up to see what was around them. They weren’t learning from the REAL reality all around them.

Here’s the interesting metaphor for us to ponder. How often do we get focused on the representation of things that we don’t stay open to the actual things that are presented to us. We spend time blogging, chatting, Facebooking about friends, work, romance, health, spirituality etc. How much time do we spend doing things that cultivate friends, health, relationships, spirituality? Have we focused so much on the technology that we don’t experience the REAL reality?

It got me to thinking of the difference between information vs. knowledge vs. wisdom. No doubt there’s a glut of information available at our finger tips. We no longer have to memorize a bunch of facts or instructions to do things, we simply look it up on the web. We have a vast library available to us of information, yet have we achieved knowledge about those topics? I asked the professor whether he thought the kids were learning how to gain information vs. knowledge from the exercise. He was a bit stumped. Knowledge comes from working with ideas, material, experiences etc. , getting your hands dirty so to speak, to have a deeper understanding of those ideas.

Now for wisdom. That is certainly not something that can be given to another. Wisdom is slow to develop and can require a high price tag since our greatest source of wisdom often comes from our mistakes or opportunities not well spent. Sharing wisdom is a way to connect with another more deeply. In the US we don’t have a culture or much tradition of learning wisdom from our elders, by listening intently to their stories, hearing their experiences, seeing the scars of their mistakes.

As much as the Millenial Generation may be the Digital Natives, and have information at their fingertips, they have a long way to go with gaining wisdom. My workplace has a potential for having 24% of employees retire in the next 3 years. That’s a lot of experience and knowledge walking out the door. I’m betting it’s also a lot of wisdom leaving too. What have you learned over the years of your work life about how to relate better to others at work? How to diffuse a tense confrontation? How to show your emotions effectively with your team mates?

I’ve been fortunate to have two really wonderful bosses over my career life. They’ve not only been mentors, but we had a sacred relationship. We were able to share more deeply who we were and be authentic with one another. We had a lot of trust and mutual respect and admiration. They were elders who shared their wisdom and experience and I eagerly listened to them. My work was enriched from those exchanges.

Think about how you gain or share your wisdom at work. How might this be a spiritual experience for you?

***********************

For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

——————

Coaching Tip – How to Bust Paralysis by Analysis

Business coach writing on glass board with marker

Are you the type of person that will not act until you have “all your ducks in a row”?

Successful people are the ones that move forward with their ideas, goals and endeavors even when they don’t have everything figured out. They focus on what they want – and take action.

Here are 5 tips to Bust Paralysis by Analysis that help my coaching clients:

1. Forgo perfection – strive to be your “best” rather that striving to be “perfect”. No one can be perfect. Expending your time and effort on perfection gets you bogged down.

2. Adopt the winning strategy of “Go-Ready-Set” versus “Ready-Set-Go”. Create momentum by getting started and take the first step. Once you begin, you can tweak your course along the way towards a successful outcome. As in physics, a body in motion stays in motion.

3. Set a deadline – realistically allocate how much time you will spend on a project or situation. When you are intentional about how much time you will spend you will find you can usually get it finished in the projected timeframe.

4. Get an accountability buddy – enlist the support of others (and your coach) to keep on task. When you are accountable to someone else, you are less likely to get mired down.

5. Make decisions faster – by making faster, wiser decisions you can take action quickly. Practice your decision making skills with simple everyday decisions – i.e. give yourself only 1 minute to decide what to order at a restaurant.

As Nike says – “Just Do It!”

How will you bust your Paralysis by Analysis today?

For more resources, see the Library topic Personal and Professional Coaching.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Pam Solberg-Tapper MHSA, PCC – I spark high achieving business leaders to get on fire about their lives, develop their leading edge, be extraordinary and do great things for the world. How can I help you? Contact me at [email protected] ~ Linkedin ~ 218-340-3330

Getting to the Heart of What Matters Most

An affirmation written on a notepad

Have you figured out how to get the heart of what matters most amidst the chaos of our overstuffed lives? Lately I’ve been using this affirmation as a reminder in my pursuit of what is most important in my work and life. “I make time for what matters most.” This affirmation helps me to know that while I can’t get to everything that I want to on my daily to do list, I am intentionally carving out time for those most critical things each day. Sometimes that includes making time for being and not doing.
Stephen Covey refers to this concept as his third habit to put first things first. For Brendon Burchard, author of Life’s Golden Ticket, it’s about living each day fully by being able to say yes to these three questions. “Did I live? Did I love? Did I matter?” Val Kinjerski, PhD, shares another perspective of how important it is to fight for what really matters. Check her out as she speaks about it on YouTube.

Here’s how I determine what matters most:

  • Finding IT: How to Lead with your Heart. First you have to discover what matters most to YOU by finding the deeper meaning, joy, and purpose of life.
  • Living IT: How to Create and Live an Inspired Life. Next you need to decide how you’ll live. When you understand how to live the inspired life principles from the insideout, you will learn how to live your life the way you ought to be; full and richly.
  • Giving IT Away: How to Make a Difference. The final aspect is to determine your legacy. How will you be inspired to leave your mark by giving away your time, talent and treasures to serve others and be part of something larger than yourself?

********************

For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

——————

    What is Transformational Leadership?

    People in an office writing notes on a glass board

    Is Transformational Leadership Unique?

    Transformational leadership is the winner of the prize for the most researched, studied, and debated approach to leadership that has ever existed. It also has more influence than any other leadership approach on the organizational leaders of today. Although most of these leaders aren’t even aware it exists. I believe it is the approach to leadership most responsible for championing the notion that it is important for leaders to create shared vision, develop and coach future leaders, encourage innovation in others, and act with high levels of integrity and ethics. The irony is that transformational leadership is also simply a compelling phrase used by many consultants and organizations – most of who don’t even realize that an “official” approach with that name exists. It is a sexy term that is often used to build neat little models of leadership and hopefully score some coaching clients. And who can blame them? I mean, what have we to work with? Servant? Authentic? Situational?

    Bernard Bass is arguably the person whose head is most firmly wrapped around the “official” form of transformational leadership (see Transformational Leadership, 2nd Ed, Bass and Riggio, 2006). Bass and Bruce Avolio developed the Multifactor Leadership Questionnaire (see www.mindgarden.com) which has guided much of the research on this approach. The MLQ is intended to identify the extent to which leader exhibits transformational leadership by surveying the followers of a specific leader.

    Basic Elements of Transformational Leadership

    Bass has identified four components to transformational leadership and has creatively figured out a way that all four can start with the letter “I” so that it might be called the 4I Model. In my mind these four components are in essence role modeling, motivating, developing, and encouraging creativity. Needless to say, these aren’t all that sexy, and truth be told they do not get at the complexity and richness of the 4I Model. In light of this, here is a breakdown of the 4I Model’s description of the key elements of transformational leadership.

    Idealized Influence

    This component states that transformational leaders act as role models and that followers will seek to emulate their behavior. In addition to being considered generally extraordinary leaders, the three attributes that ideally are demonstrated through Idealized Influence are a willingness to take risks, consistent (versus arbitrary) behavior, and high levels of integrity and ethics. I personally think that Idolized Influence would have been a more appropriate and decidedly tongue in cheek term for this component.

    Inspirational Motivation

    This component states that transformational leaders behave in ways that are inspirational to followers and provide meaning and a sense of challenge to their work. This is achieved in three different ways: involving followers in the development of a preferred vision for the future, communicating clear expectations, and by demonstrating a clear commitment to the shared goals and vision of the group or team.

    Intellectual Stimulation

    This component states that transformational leaders include followers in addressing organizational problems and stimulate and support them in being as creative and innovative as possible in identifying solutions. The leaders accomplish this by encouraging followers to challenge assumptions, reframe problems, and approach existing problems in novel ways. This is all supposed to be done in a context in which no idea is considered too stupid.

    Individualized Consideration

    This component states that transformational leaders give individualized attention to each follower’s professional development by acting as a coach or mentor. The key element of this component is that customized learning opportunities are designed for each follower based on that person’s unique needs and desires. These learning opportunities are often delegated action learning tasks that the leader assigns and monitors.

    Conclusion

    As previously stated, in my opinion, transformational leadership is the most influential approach and theory to leadership that exists today. This doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have its detractors and it doesn’t mean that it has remained a uniform approach. It has come to mean many things to different people. What does it mean to you? Do you like it? Do you think it is going too far to say that it is more influential than other approaches? Why?

    Types of Changes

    Time for change sign with led light

    I have been thinking about Types of Changes, which tend to fall into 3 buckets.

    1. First, there is the Minor change, which is basic tuning, or adjustments to normal business life and the predictability of managing those is high.
    2. Then there are the Low impact changes, small changes in people and processes where predictability is pretty accurate.
    3. Then there are the Major changes where structure, roles, responsibilities and the purpose of the organization is in flux and here predictability is very low.

    The general guideline I use is — the greater the change, the lower the predictability; therefore we have to attend to the impact of the change on the total system.

    Truisms About Change

    Here are some, what I call some “truisms about change.” We will use the common symbol for greater > and for less <

    • The > the change the < the predictability…
    • The > the unpredictability, the > the need for communication
    • The > the amount of communication, the > the number of questions asked…
    • The > the number of questions, the > the amount of time involved…
    • The > the amount of time involved, the > the level of participation…
    • The > the amount of participation, the > the probability that issues and potential problems will be raised…
    • The >the number of problems identified early in the change process the < the probability of error…
    • The > the probability of success felt by the members of the organization, the > the commitment to the change process…
    • The > the commitment to the change process held by individuals in the organization, the > their efforts will be directed toward making the change succeed…
    • The > their commitment to making it succeed, the > their sense of ownership for the change process…
    • The > the ownership of the change process, the < resistance to the change…

    So What?

    This is instructive because recently I have been seeing a lot of opinion pieces about the complexity of modern life and our need to manage this uncertainty and yet the impossibility of doing do.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/28/opinion/28brooks.html?emc=eta1

    http://www.pbs.org/newshour/businessdesk/2010/06/how-economics-affects-the-oil.html

    David Brooks is writing about risk assessment at the bloody crossroads where complex technical systems meet human psychology. He details our over-reliance on technical fixes and a tendency to match complicated technical systems with complicated governance structures. Drilling for oil at 5000 feet is over reaching if we rely on the blowout preventer and shut down safety conversations. Brooks points to the conflicting and unclear and muddled lines of authority on the Deepwater Horizon and he points to a need for improvements in the “choice architecture – to help people guard against risk creep, false security, groupthink, the good-news bias and all the rest.

    Paul Solmon at the Newshour talks about the economics of pushing the “risk envelope” as a competitive reality. But the complexity, unpredictability and pace of events in our world, and the severity of global environmental stress are soaring and that what we need is more ingenuity- that is more and better ideas for solving our technical and social problems.

    I do not think that more and better ideas are what we need. BP, Halliburton and Transocean were trying to bring a well on-line as fast as possible and they stopped listening. It’s as simple as that. They closed off the debate and discussion of potential problems and minimized the risk discussion. The Truisms of Change takes time. The real blowout preventer was short-circuited and the back up was merely an illusion.

    What do you think?

    —————————

    For more resources, see the Library topics Consulting and Organizational Development.

    ————————————————————————————

    Jim Smith has over 40 years of organization development experience in a wide range of organizations. He can be reached at [email protected]

    Husband/Wife Publishing a Book Together — A Work of Love

    An open book on a table

    I’m in the process of doing a “virtual blog tour” to promote Keeping the Wolves at Bay-Media Training and today enjoyed reading an interview with my wife and I about the process of publishing the book. Rather than focusing on the book content, the Brummer’s Conscious Blog’s host examined what happened behind the scenes as my wife Celeste and I put this baby together.

    ——————————-
    For more resources, see the Free Management Library topic: Crisis Management
    ——————————-

    Ten “Best” Social Enterprise Web Sites

    Google search page displaying on a laptop screen

    Google “social enterprise” and you’ll get 2.1 million citations. I kid you not.

    So, if you want to be more selective, here’s a quick guide on what we’ve found to be the most useful online sources of practical information about how to succeed with social enterprise (SE). (Full disclosure: I’m affiliated with several that I’ve marked with *’s)

    1. Social Enterprise Alliance*. North American membership association offers many resources, some available to all, others members only. (Well worth $75, IMHO.)
    2. REDF. San Francisco based funder that’s probably started and supported more successful SE’s than anyone else. Web site chock full of practical advice.
    3. Community Wealth Ventures. Washington DC consulting firm founded by Bill Shore; resources include SE database, franchising report, L3C report, and more.
    4. npEnterprise Forum*. Free, global, 7000+ subscriber listserv focused exclusively on social enterprise. Post a question and you’ll likely get five answers in days.
    5. IdeaEncore. Many tools and techniques, some free, some for a small fee.
    6. Rolfe Larson Associates*. Denver consulting firm with a Free Resources section with practical work sheets and templates on starting an SE.
    7. Free Management Library*. Section on Social Enterprise and Business Planning packed with resources and links about the field. Weekly blogs also.
    8. Wikipedia. Nowadays every research project has to include Wikipedia, although in this case, it is a bit sparse on practicality.
    9. RootCause in Boston has an excellent free guide to SE business planning.
    10. Aperio in Toronto offers some good articles and case studies.

    And if you want more, well, you can always go back to those 2.1 million Google citations…

    Finding Motivation at Work Using Spiritual Lens

    Motivational sign on an office desk

    It’s the Tues. after a long holiday weekend. Anyone have trouble getting motivated today? I know I sure was. I had a wonderful weekend and had to come back to an inbox full of emails and some training programs to prepare. How do you stay/get motivated when you just don’t feel like coming to work on a Mon. morning or after a holiday? Perhaps you are having trouble getting motivated on any given day you show up at work.

    OK, here are a few tips. From a mundane task- focused perspective:

    1. You can jump in and knock out the easy stuff that isn’t too mentally taxing just to get back in the groove of working again.
    2. You can decide to look for those things that interest you of your projects coming up and start working on those.
    3. You can sort through the most important things to do and choose the one that most interests you, then break it into smaller chunks and do at least one of the smaller chunks that day.

    Or you can shift perspectives and look at your work through a different lens. I love the metaphor of changing lenses. We always get a chance to reframe or shift perspectives on how we are viewing or approaching our work (or any other life task or issue for that matter). The lenses we use to see the world are entirely up to us to choose.

    When we remember we are here as spiritual beings having a human experience, each experience we have provides opportunities for connecting, sharing, giving, loving, forgiving, learning etc. When I start to get unmotivated, I shift lenses. I don’t look at the world through my small self, my ego interests and desires. I shift to say, OK what’s here for my Spiritual Self to experience? What am I called to do in this moment? What is a lesson I can learn or provide for someone else? How then shall I serve? What would bring joy in this moment?

    As a spiritual being you can always find something worthwhile to do in every moment, even if it is pausing to breathe slowly to bring you back into peace and balance. Here are some simple things you can do to remember your higher purpose, your Spiritual Self, or ways you can serve:

    1. Remember that you are a loving being at all times
    2. Think of one person in your office who could use a little cheering up and send them a smile.
    3. Listen for what others are saying from a place of compassion rather than judgment
    4. Find on the internet a good quote, inspiring video clip, cartoon or beautiful picture to share with a co-worker.
    5. Chant or repeat a meaningful phrase, hymn, or poem to help lift your spirits
    6. Look for ways that your talents and ideas could provide support for someone else, even if it is a very simple thing you could do.
    7. Ask someone “What’s stirring in you today?” and attentively listen. Show that you care about how a co-worker is feeling.
    8. Stay open to how you might be asked to play a role to help someone shift through something they are struggling with. Listen, watch, wait with anticipation.
    9. Be attentive to synchronicities around you. Put out a positive thought or question about what you are to do next and then see how it is answered.
    10. Know that you are always creating your external world by your emotional state, attitudes, and beliefs you carry.

    See how these ideas work next time you are feeling a bit apathetic, uninspired, or unmotivated. Please share other ideas you have tried and how they’ve worked for you.

    Epilogue, today my boss came in to my office and waxed philosophical about his weekend and his in-laws who were planning to visit. I could tell he needed to talk so I listened and gave him some time to share what was on his mind. I think he walked away feeling a bit lighter for the conversation.

    Be a Light for those around you. It will brighten your world as well as theirs.

    *******************

    For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.

    ——————