Category: Sales & Marketing

Some of us are really good at giving positive feedback. Others are really good at giving negative feedback. Not many seem skilled in providing both, what I call balanced feedback. Occasionally a client will tell me, “just tell it like it is. Be brutally honest.” Or, “you are just being nice.” This makes me wonder if my feedback is too polite, or too subtle, even though I try to give it honestly and in a balanced fashion. Why? Let’s take a look at what can happen when you give feedback, either too positive or too negative.

Too little positive feedback.

While working recently with a manager, I noticed that he tended to give mostly negative feedback, and very little positive. This manager stated that he had been taught that giving negative feedback would be more motivational. He also thought positive feedback seemed “too soft” and unnecessary. As he added: “Why should we praise people for just doing their jobs?”

When most or all feedback is negative, people know what you don’t like, but they often have to guess at what you do like or want from them. They may feel overwhelmed and discouraged by the criticism, and they may take it personally. They don’t ready minds, and so are often confused about what you really want. They may lose confidence, since everything they do seems wrong. In addition, if the only time they hear from you is when you have a complaint, they may soon begin to feel defensive, or try to avoid interactions with you.

That said, negative feedback has its place. To be effective it needs to be specific and non-judgmental. Compare these two comments on a written report:

1. “I can’t believe you turned in such shoddy work. Don’t you know any better?”

2. “One of your conclusions was faulty and you had 3 typos on the report.”

The first comment is shaming and demotivating. I feel bad, but I don’t know what I should do differently. The second comment seems deliberately unemotional, so it takes the shame out of it. It also gives me specific information about what I can do to improve.

Too much positive feedback. If you are a big believer in positive feedback, or if you don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, you may be relying too much on positive feedback and fail to deliver the bad news. We have all heard about employees who received glowing performance reviews right up to the day they were let go for “performance issues.” Obviously, there were problems that should have been addressed. If all you give is positive feedback, people can have an unrealistically high view of their worth and performance levels. Because they receive unbalanced feedback, they can have confidence above and beyond their actual performance levels.

Positive reinforcement certainly has its place, and to be effective it also needs to be specific and clear. Consider these two examples:

1. “Good job. Keep it up.”

2. “Your report was clear, your conclusions were on target, and the writing was crisp and accurate.”

The first comment may make me feel good, but I am not really sure what was right about my work. It might make me feel bad because you didn’t even take time to notice what I did. In other words, the easy compliment seems canned and can come across as insincere. The second comment is all positive, but it tells me what you valued, and clearly shows you read my report.

Balanced feedback. Balanced feedback provides feedback on what is being done well as well as what could be improved. The positive feedback builds confidence and reinforces the “good” behavior you want to see more of. It clarifies expectations. It feels good. The negative feedback is given factually and preferably with suggestions for improvement.

Consider this example of balanced feedback:

1. “Your report was clear, your conclusions were on target, and the writing was crisp and accurate. There were several typos, and for that I suggest more careful proofing. And one of your conclusions wasn’t clear to me. Let’s talk it over this afternoon and compare notes. Overall, great job!”

If you lead, coach or develop people, I suggest aiming for balanced feedback that builds confidence, shows the direction you want the performance to take, and highlights areas for improvement in a clear, non-punishing way. At the same time, note that people react differently. Some crave the honest feedback, and some crave the “feel good” aspects of positive feedback. Some remember and take to heart any criticism, and some live for it. So adjust accordingly, but always strive to be honest, sincere and matter-of-fact.

By being honest and straightforward, and by offering balanced feedback, the people you influence can build skills and confidence at the same time.

People these days seem to be impatient, stressed and constantly rushed. I am that way myself too much of the time. But if we let it get in the way of listening, there is a price to pay. That price includes losses in efficiency, effectiveness, and even in relationships. We make mistakes, we forget what was said, we miss nuances in the conversation. Not good.

We owe it to ourselves and all those we care about at home and at work, to slow down, pay attention, and do the hard but rewarding work of listening.

This week, check your listening habits.

1. Put aside all else. In order to really listen, you must put aside other work, turn away from the computer screen, and focus on the speaker. It is too easy to keep looking at your work, especially when the person is on the phone. But it is pretty obvious when someone is not listening. Listening is a skill that requires your full attention. Try it and see what a difference focus makes.

2. Focus on the entire message. Pay attention to what is being said, not on your response to it. Tune in to body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, absorbing the whole message. Watch for conflicting body language, such as a frown, folded arms over chest, or a subtle shaking of the head while saying “yes.” Non-verbals can account for as much as 55% of the message, so pay close attention to the entire message, not just the words.

3. Show that you are listening. Avoid looking around or fidgeting. Make steady eye contact, nod, and use neutral acknowledgements such as “uh-huh” or “go on.” Separate listening from responding: don’t jump in too soon with your own opinion, your story, or your advice. Listen first.

4. Adjust to the style of the other person. If they are interested in the emotional context, don’t keep asking about facts. If they are very fact-oriented, shift your listening to the rational. If they want details, focus more on details. If they want to talk big picture, let them know you see it, then ask about feelings or for further facts.

5. Check back. Ask if you are hearing them correctly. Don’t make assumptions or jump to conclusions based on partial hearing. Even if you are under pressure or tight on time, maybe especially then, slow down, breathe, and focus on hearing and paraphrasing what you are hearing. If you just can’t focus at that moment, say so, and ask to connect at another time.

6. Eliminate sound clutter. If your phone is getting a bad signal, don’t tough it out. If you are in a noisy place, or rushing to catch a plane, and you can’t hear what is being said, there is no way you can do a great job of listening. Ask to reschedule, or get yourself to a quieter place where you can both hear and concentrate.

Great leaders and great communicators have a striking ability to listen well. It takes work and effort, and energy you sometimes feel short on, but it is so worth it. It pays dividends in better productivity and helps build better relationships. What could be more worthwhile?

You’ve been there. I sure have. Sometimes meetings and training sessions seem to drag because you can’t get a good discussion going. Other times, people start talking and can’t seem to stop, or arguments and conflicts devour precious time. In order to facilitate effectively, you need to know both how to get a group started, and then how to manage the discussion. Based on twenty years’ experience, these are my Ten Terrific Tips for Group Facilitation:

1. Start with easy-to-answer questions. These questions should be closed ended and not sensitive in nature, so that your audience feels comfortable responding. As you continue to build trust, you can move into more sensitive issues, and ask more open ended questions.

2. Call on the group at large, not an individual. Pose your question to everyone, then as you look around, select the person or persons you want to call on. This way, everyone stays engaged, and no one is put on the spot.

3. Use the silence. Once you have asked a question, don’t jump in with your own answer. Count to ten, if you need to, before saying anything. Let the group have time to think and respond.

4. Ask participants to write down their ideas. Have paper or note cards handy. This is especially helpful with a quiet group, when time is short or when emotions are high.

5. Ask for a volunteer to write comments or answers on a flipchart. This will keep you from having to turn away from the group to write, allowing you to keep the group engaged, or to keep an eye on a talkative group.

6. Incorporate physical movement. Have individuals move into small groups, walk up to the front of the room to post their ideas, or stand beside a flipchart to deliver their findings to the large group. Use games and puzzles that get them physically engaged.

7. Manage side conversations. Make steady eye contact with those who tend to chat, stand closer to them, or use silence until the room becomes quiet. By using these “silent” techniques, you can usually maintain control without having to say anything.

8. Break a large group down into smaller ones for discussion. Give complete directions first, then disperse into breakout groups. If directions are complicated, write them on a flipchart, along with the time to reconvene. To signal small groups to return to the large group, dim the lights or sound a timer.

9. Don’t shy away from conflict. Disagreement can be a sign of independent thinking, and can lead to better solutions in the long run. When conflict arises, try to disagree with the statement rather than with the person. If the emotional temperature gets too hot, you might suggest a short break before continuing.

10. Use courteous language. Words such as “please” and “thank you” and inclusive terms like “Let’s look at our next agenda item” or “Shall we check for consensus now?” foster a climate of respect and cooperation.

Whether you are highly experienced or brand-new to classroom training or facilitation, you have probably discovered your own tips to encourage participation and manage group dynamics. If you are willing to share, please post your best facilitation tips.

You have entered the communication process by thinking about your approach or attitude for effective communication. You have prepared for communication by thinking through your intended message and targeted it toward your listener. Now let’s take a look at your skills and habits, to be sure your communication is coming across loud and clear:

Verbal Skills:

• Select the appropriate tone. Be aware of any tendencies toward tentativeness, sarcasm, inappropriate humor due to stress, exaggeration, etc. Try to keep the tone appropriate to the discussion, avoiding anything that might be confusing or off-putting, especially when the conversation is serious.

• Enunciate. Speak each word clearly. A great trick is to open your mouth a bit wider than you might be accustomed to in order to heighten articulation.

• Slow down. This is important particularly when you feel stressed or emotional, of if you tend to talk quickly anyway. Pace yourself, remember to breathe and pause periodically. On the other hand, don’t slow it down to a snail’s pace; that could be offensive.

• Watch your volume. If you speak too loudly, you may sound angry and intimidating. If you speak too softly you may not be taken seriously. So speak at normal volume.

• Got accent? Speak slowly and clearly, enunciate carefully. Allow a few pauses for the listener to catch up. Watch your listener’s face for signs of understanding or confusion.

• Choose your words. Be specific and accurate. You won’t be word-perfect, but if you are clear in your intentions and have managed your own emotions, you should be able to get your message across accurately. Avoid broad language such as “always,” “never,” and “as soon as possible,” substituting specifics where you can.

• Avoid qualifiers. Using words like “kind of, sort of, just, maybe”, and other tentative wording weakens your message. You may not even be aware of how often you use these terms. Listen to see if this is a habit of yours, or ask someone you trust to listen and give you feedback on how often you use these weakening words.

• Avoid jargon, slang, idioms, and profanity. If your terminology is confusing, your message will be as well. If you turn people off or intimidate them, your message will be lost in the anxiety. So clean up your language, and use terms the listener will understand.

• Avoid rambling or repeating. If you are clear on your message, get it across and then stop. Get comfortable with a pause or two; if the situation is sensitive, both sides need space to think before moving on.

• Check for understanding. Ask your listener to repeat, rephrase, or react to what you have just said. Clarify areas where you aren’t in perfect accord. See where you can find agreement. Summarize what you both agree to, and what will happen next.

Strong verbal skills will serve you well throughout your career as well as your personal life. If you are not as articulate and calm as you would like, take heart. You can practice each of these skills every day, in meetings, one on one, even in social conversation. It is not about being perfect, just about becoming a stronger, clearer verbal communicator.

In the last post we discussed your approach to communicating. We discussed the attitudes and mindsets we bring to our communication efforts, including being patient, sincere and empathetic when approaching any situation in which we need to communicate effectively. I encouraged you to examine not only your attitude and intentions, but also your actual behavior.

Today, let’s focus on some tips to help you prepare for an important communication event. It might be a performance review, an interview, or an informal capability discussion. It could be a sales presentation or a meeting. Or a problem-solution discussion of any kind. Whatever it is, it calls on you to bring your best in order to make the communication a success.

Do your research. Make sure you have all the facts ahead of time. Research alternatives and resources so you have all your “ducks in a row” and come off as professional and prepared. This can also save you from having to schedule additional meetings. For example, if you plan to suggest training to correct a performance deficiency, come with a class schedule.

Understand your audience. Put yourself into their frame of mind; how would you feel if you were in their place? For example, if this is to be a corrective action, they may be nervous or frightened. If it is to resolve a problem, do they understand that you are there to help, or are they afraid of being blamed or shamed? Just yesterday in my tax appointment I came in feeling uncomfortable over a coding error, but was instantly put at ease by my tax professional, who said; “We can fix that; no problem.” Whew!

Consider timing. Sometimes we jump into a situation where one or both parties are feeling stressed and emotional about the situation, and that makes dealing with it that much more difficult. On the other hand, if we wait too long to address it, we lose momentum, and we keep dealing with the problem instead of correcting it. Try to schedule the sit-down as soon as possible, but when all parties are less stressed. (If you do have to address something on the spot, be sure to take a minute to breathe and center yourself before proceeding; it would be great to allow the other parties the same opportunity.)

Create a plan. That might mean a few crib notes, an informal agenda, or an outline, but it really helps to write down and use notes to move the discussion forward. Take a moment to discuss the agenda or plan, and ask the other party what they would add, checking to see if you are in agreement on the situation. This helps you be more objective and more focused. Example: “Today I would like us to examine the evaluations from the last technical skills class you facilitated, and together try to discover why this one received lower ratings. It is not about casting blame, but rather, taking an objective look at what was different in this class. Then I would like to brainstorm some ideas about the next session so we can improve our ratings. I value your contributions and your professionalism as a technical trainer, and I want to help you keep growing your skills. Anything you would like to add to our agenda before we begin?”

Talk their language. Assuming you know the person you are speaking to, speak their language. Use their terms, mirror their style. If they are known as direct, speak directly without sugar-coating. If they tend to be more emotional, keep creating safety by validating them and reinforcing how you value them. If they are detail-oriented, give plenty of detailed evidence. If they are action-oriented, be ready with a plan of action. In short, adjust your style to match theirs, and you will receive better results.

Find mental focus. Before you begin, you need a moment to clear your desk, close out your computer tasks, and clear your mind. You might consider allowing 5 minutes to make the transition. Stand up and stretch. Look out the window. Breathe. Imagine how good it will feel to complete this discussion in a productive way. Review your notes if needed. Be ready to give your full attention to the person you are speaking with. OK, feeling ready?

Rehearse. If the situation is delicate, and the stakes are high, or you are not feeling altogether comfortable about the discussion to come, you will benefit from a rehearsal. Some people do this in the car on their way to an important meeting. Some people rehearse both sides of the discussion so they can predict what the receiver might say. You might even ask someone you trust to role-play the scenario so you can practice different outcomes. Whether you do it alone or with someone else, be sure to rehearse out loud. Rehearsing in your head certainly is better than nothing, but rehearsing out loud makes an amazing difference in your fluency and ability to think on your feet. Just don’t memorize your lines; you want it to be somewhat spontaneous.

Preparing for an important communication situation takes time and effort that sometimes we feel we don’t have. But the results are so worthwhile; we can solve problems better, build and maintain relationships, and resolve sticky issues. Think of preparation as an investment in creating these better outcomes. Be patient with yourself when things don’t go perfectly. Know that you will become more comfortable and more competent at dealing with challenging communication situations.

Please let me know which of these suggestions you decide to try. What works for you? What else would you suggest to help others prepare for challenging communication situations?

Thousands of Fans Can Broadcast Your Marketing Message

“Brand Advocacy” refers to the army of UNPAID people who believe in your offerings and eagerly broadcast your marketing message to their network, both online and offline. Usually, their network is interested in the same things, so your Brand Advocates reach your specific target audience. This powerful word-of-mouth marketing is one of the best ways to build credibility and referred trust, resulting in increased sales.

How does this happen? You can build your army of Brand Advocates in one of three main ways:

1. Organic – natural customer satisfaction and word-of-mouth (slow)

2. Sharing – social media content spread by your network (faster)

3. Seeding – send content, freebies and samples to influential bloggers and Twitter Users (fastest)

Brand Advocates are considered more authentic, carry more ‘marketing message’ weight, and cost less than traditional advertising, such as radio, print, and television. People take their trusted friends’ recommendations quite seriously, so please don’t overlook this important strategy in your marketing plan. Word-of-mouth marketing has never been so viral.

Jeremiah Owyang, a nationally renown digital strategy expert and consultant to Fortune 100 companies, suggests that organizations today must develop advocacy programs in order to scale, increase credibility and demonstrate commitment. In doing so, marketers will develop a low-cost trusted unpaid army of Brand Advocates.

Owyang’s Five Phases of Mature Brand Advocacy Programs (summarized):

1.) First, get ready internally. Dedicate an internal staff member on a part-time basis to manage this program. Look for folks who have a background in influencer relationships and are savvy about social media. Develop a plan and educate internal stakeholders.

2.) Find the right advocates that will represent your brand. Look at top bloggers, the most helpful and knowledgeable community members in forums, and those that have dedicated their time to managing Facebook pages, online forums or are active in the ecosystems.

3.) Build a relationship for the long term. Invite your select group of advocates to your headquarters to meet with key executives. Be prepared to listen, and be attentive to their requests. Intel invites its ‘Insiders’ to key events like Intel Developer Forum.

4.) Give them a platform–but do not pay them. The crux of an advocacy program is giving fans a platform for communicating. You’ll want to support their efforts by giving them a publication platform such as a group blog or community, so they can tell their story. Enable them with graphical “badges” they can put on their blogs, email signatures, T-shirts, and business cards as they become extended ambassadors to your brand. Microsoft MVP program showcases their advocates, and provides them with a variety of resources to evangelize.

5.) Integrate them into your business and recognize them. Next, continue to integrate them into your existing events, launches and even planning meetings. Microsoft has “conference” funds for MVPs who are encouraged to speak at industry related conferences about their passions – further spreading the brand.

While it’s not important to do everything all at once, it IS important to embrace this marketing strategy and make initial steps to build your Brand Advocacy program. Let ‘Progress – Not Perfection’ be your guiding principle.

Do you have a Brand Advocacy Program? What learnings can you share that will help others start and manage one?

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For more resources, see our Library topics Marketing and Social Networking.

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ABOUT Lisa M. Chapman:

Ms. Chapman’s new book has a name change! The Net-Powered Entrepreneur – A Step-by-Step Guide will be available very soon. With offices in Nashville Tennessee, but working virtually with international clients, Lisa M. Chapman serves her clients as a business and marketing coach, business planning consultant and social media consultant. As a Founder of iBrand Masters, a social media consulting firm, Lisa Chapman helps clients to establish and enhance their online brand, attract their target market, engage them in meaningful social media conversations, and convert online traffic into revenues. Email: Lisa @ LisaChapman.com

A recent workshop discussion led to this question: what kind of communicator are you, really? What are the best practices to adopt in order to be a great communicator? The class participants thought about what kind of attitudes we sometimes bring to communication, and came up with this list of best practices.

As you read the list below, be aware that we tend to judge ourselves not by our actual behavior but by our intentions: “I meant to listen; it’s just that I was so busy when you called…” While it is true that your heart is probably in the right place, the pressures of time, stress and multi-tasking can undermine those best intentions and leave you with less-than-desirable behavior.

Starting today, take a look at what you actually do, since this is what the people around you actually experience. Or, if you are feeling especially brave, ask someone you know and trust to give you some feedback on how well you approach communication. Specifically, how are you doing in your communication approach?

• Be polite, respectful in communication. Do you say “please” and “thank you?” Do you check with the person to see if this is a good time for them? Or do you bark out orders on your way past them?

• Be sincere. Do you really notice the others around you? Do you see them as whole people with lives and feelings? Or just as someone who can do something for you–or get in your way? When you travel, do you take time to notice all the people who serve you, from the taxi driver to the flight attendant? Do you take a moment to reaffirm the people around you, and to show them sincere appreciation?

• Be professional. Do you watch your language or let it fly? Do you have good grammar? Do you speak clearly? Do you have an obnoxious laugh? Do you tell dirty jokes? Do you gossip? Or do you try to speak professionally everywhere you go, knowing that “you never know” who might be listening.

• Be patient. Yes, you are under stress. Probably so are those around you. When you travel, do you shout at drivers ahead of you? Or are you like the passive-aggressive traveler behind me in the “professional traveler” security line who kept grumbling criticism of those ahead of him? Those stressful times are exactly when you should remind yourself to breathe.

• Be empathetic. Sometimes it feels good to vent, but not so good for the person on the receiving side. Take time to ask yourself how that person facing you feels. A smile and thank you could really help someone, and cost you very little. A brief apology if you have been unkind may make both sides feel better.

• Think, plan and prepare before talking, typing or sending. Of course you are in a hurry. Of course you are thinking of three (or ten!) things at once. But before you shoot off that hurried e-mail, think it though. Before you call someone onto the carpet, be sure you are speaking with the right person, at the right time. Before you send that newsletter, e-mail, invitation, or any other document, clear your mind and re-read it. Watch out for incomplete sentences, typos, and fuzzy thinking.

Communication is a complex, important human skill that requires your full attention. Be a great communicator. Check your communication approach.

What do you do to make sure your communication approach leads to effective communication?

Whether you are presenting to the board of directors, training your new staff members, or holding a meeting with a key client, how you manage your body language matters.

Communication experts claim that as much as 93% of your communication depends on your delivery. Today, let’s look at a few basic but oh-so-critical delivery skills. This week, take time to notice how you are managing your non-verbals, or ask someone you trust to give you specific feedback on your posture, hands, voice, face or eye contact.

1. Check your posture. If you are standing, place your feet several inches to shoulder width apart, distributing your weight evenly. In this position you should feel grounded and secure. Watch newscasters and professional speakers; they rarely sway or rock. If sitting, plant your feet on the floor and sit up tall from your rib cage. From this position you look confident and can project your voice with more authority.
2. Neutralize your hands. If you put your hands in your pockets, clasp them behind your back, or lock them into a fig-leaf position, chances are you will not use them effectively. Start with your hands relaxed and at your sides, and you’ll be more likely to gesture. Instead of holding back your gestures, let them go a bit. You will look more engaged and engaging.
3. Improve your voice. To get more volume and better enunciation, try opening your mouth a little bit wider. Check for tension or tightness in your face and release it; try relaxing your jaw by massaging gently right in front of your ears. Be sure to keep breathing, preferably before you speak and during pauses.
4. Engage with your eyes. You might be compelled to look at your slides or papers in front of you, or over the heads of your audience. You might stare at the top-ranking audience member, or the one friendly face in the room. Instead, try to keep your eye contact moving slowly around the room, one person at a time, including everyone equally.
5. Relax your face. Check a mirror to see if your face looks tight or tense. Look for tension in your eyebrows, forehead, between your eyes and around your mouth. If you see tension, try to relax your face into a more neutral expression. Soften your eyes. Smile.

Start today to be more aware of your delivery skills, to make good choices, and to build new habits. For example, if you have the habit of mumbling, you might not even be aware of it. Once you discover this habit, work to enunciate more clearly as in Tip 3 above, and keep at it until you have created a positive habit of enunciating, one that will serve you well and which will become nearly automatic.

What other delivery skills would you like to hear more about? What good suggestions would you add?