I had a challenging conversation recently with a business woman. She was really upset about something I had done, and as I was trying to fix the problem, she screamed at me. It’s not fun to have someone scream at you, especially when you are trying to help them. Ever have one of those conversations?
Luckily for me I have practiced NVC for several years. I listened empathically to her screaming until she slowed down enough for me to calmly state what was happening. She stormed away as I went to work on the issue. I felt a bit numb and did my best to fix the situation.
Afterwards, when I knew the problem hadn’t been fixed, I went into a lot of fear around what her response was going to be. I also was mad at myself for what I had done a couple weeks earlier to fix the problem, which only made the problem worse. I tried to think of the next right course of action to take.
I had a hard time thinking clearly for the next couple of hours. I felt a lot of fear and dread about the problem not being fixed. I had a hard time focusing on my work and imagined all sorts of awful scenarios that could occur. It was quite a drama play going on in my head. I was aware of how much I was scaring myself. I stopped and reminded myself I didn’t need to go down the path of fear.
To calm down and collect myself, I watched some inspiring videos and posts on FB. I had to sort out what was the next right course of action to take to remedy the situation.
Then I remembered my all-time favorite advice. “When you are uncertain what is the right course of action to take, ask yourself this: What would Love do now?”
So there I was at the fork in the road. I could keep going down the path of fear or I could find out what would Love do now. I reflected on this question as I moved through my day. I got a few ideas of how I wanted to handle the business woman next time I spoke to her. I started to calm down and forgive myself for what I had done earlier. I started to give myself some compassion and affirm that it would all work out. I remembered not to sweat the small stuff.
The situation is still not over. I just need to reminder to follow the path of Love. I can keep choosing Love (capital Love for spiritual love, kindness, compassion) rather than stay mired in fear and dread.
If you need to sort out a dilemma or make a difficult choice, consider the question “What would Love do now?”. Practice using this phrase next time someone gets upset with you or you get upset with yourself.
It never hurts to keep choosing Love over fear.
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For more resources, see our Library topic Spirituality in the Workplace.
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